I would be ruled
A Kyrielle Sonnet23 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
This is an excellent poem with the plea that we should all live in harmony. I think that's all the common folk want. Those who desire power will never stop. They are coming from a different place. Your kyrielle sonnet is well written. Image is perfect for your words. Best lines for me are:
"May all our leaders love this earth,
beguiled by what it's really worth.
May they feel wonder, not just zeal,
and concentrate on what is real."
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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This is an excellent poem with the plea that we should all live in harmony. I think that's all the common folk want. Those who desire power will never stop. They are coming from a different place. Your kyrielle sonnet is well written. Image is perfect for your words. Best lines for me are:
"May all our leaders love this earth,
beguiled by what it's really worth.
May they feel wonder, not just zeal,
and concentrate on what is real."
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Thanks, Marilyn. Sadly, you are right. The power-hungry think rather differently!
Comment from livelylinda
Tony: love the pictures of you from youth to mature man. This poem makes more sense than all the politicians put together. Deal with the real should be their slogans, all of them all the time. Very nice writing. Linda
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Tony: love the pictures of you from youth to mature man. This poem makes more sense than all the politicians put together. Deal with the real should be their slogans, all of them all the time. Very nice writing. Linda
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Thank you so much, Linda, for your review and for the six stars. Much appreciated. Sadly, few politicians are poets!
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Tony - long time no see, nice to see you back. This is a very lovely Kyrielle Sonnet, beautifully penned. Your repeated lines fall into place perfectly and do not sound at all contrived to suit the rules of this form of poem. Good luck in the contest. Who is the lovely little girl? family? Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Hi Tony - long time no see, nice to see you back. This is a very lovely Kyrielle Sonnet, beautifully penned. Your repeated lines fall into place perfectly and do not sound at all contrived to suit the rules of this form of poem. Good luck in the contest. Who is the lovely little girl? family? Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Thanks for your review, Dorothy, and kind words. I haven't been on site much recently. Others things catching up with me! The girl chosen for the poem's accompanying image was from FanArtReview. I thought it fitted quite well with the idea behind the words.
Comment from Domino 2
I can't recall the requirements of a Kyrielle sonnet, Tony, so maybe include them in your notes, though I'm sure you've adhered to them.
From your EXCELLENT poem, I assume a certain rhyme scheme and repeated lines are called for.
VERY interesting theme - wouldn't that be nice, though highly unlikely?
Top meter, rhymes and enjambment.
You're a true poet, Sir.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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I can't recall the requirements of a Kyrielle sonnet, Tony, so maybe include them in your notes, though I'm sure you've adhered to them.
From your EXCELLENT poem, I assume a certain rhyme scheme and repeated lines are called for.
VERY interesting theme - wouldn't that be nice, though highly unlikely?
Top meter, rhymes and enjambment.
You're a true poet, Sir.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Many thanks for your review, Ray. As you say, not very likely! The world's not that simple!
Comment from Pantygynt
This is a lovely thought and onw we could all identify with I am sure. All? Well all but the ones you are trying to get through to. Despite your having written an excellent Kyrielle sonnet on this subject the phrase "snowball's chance in hell" comes to mind.
The form seems especially suited to to a prayer or poem expressing some plea, like this. The repeated refrain and final couplet emphasize the desire.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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This is a lovely thought and onw we could all identify with I am sure. All? Well all but the ones you are trying to get through to. Despite your having written an excellent Kyrielle sonnet on this subject the phrase "snowball's chance in hell" comes to mind.
The form seems especially suited to to a prayer or poem expressing some plea, like this. The repeated refrain and final couplet emphasize the desire.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Thanks for the review, Jim. As you say - not a snowball's chance in hell!
Comment from krys123
Tony;
-I was very entertained by your writing and I'm not for me with this type of format it reads quite well. After looking up the requirements for this type of contest I found yours to be spot on inquiry exact to the type of format necessary to fit the requirements. I would find this difficult for me to try but my hats off to you for doing so well.
-All of your rhyming is contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the rhythm to flow smoothly also your rhyming is neither forced nor helpful which is also helpful.
-The rhythmic meter of iambic tetrameter and the cadence, timing and tempo or all helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and so very easy.
-The picture you have chosen is very relative especially to the smile and also complementary and appropriate for this type of poem.
-I always thought that a touch of a child's hand, there smile and a kiss on a cheek could melt the hardened heart. And the concept that you projected in this writing correlates this type of feeling.
-Good luck in the contest and made a good Lord be with you always.
Alec
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Tony;
-I was very entertained by your writing and I'm not for me with this type of format it reads quite well. After looking up the requirements for this type of contest I found yours to be spot on inquiry exact to the type of format necessary to fit the requirements. I would find this difficult for me to try but my hats off to you for doing so well.
-All of your rhyming is contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the rhythm to flow smoothly also your rhyming is neither forced nor helpful which is also helpful.
-The rhythmic meter of iambic tetrameter and the cadence, timing and tempo or all helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and so very easy.
-The picture you have chosen is very relative especially to the smile and also complementary and appropriate for this type of poem.
-I always thought that a touch of a child's hand, there smile and a kiss on a cheek could melt the hardened heart. And the concept that you projected in this writing correlates this type of feeling.
-Good luck in the contest and made a good Lord be with you always.
Alec
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Thank you so much, Alex, for another fine review. As always, much appreciated. Tony
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You are very welcome Tony and have a very pleasant evening and day.
Alex
Comment from Warren Rodgers
Hi Tony,
You've written a marvelous Kyrielle Sonnet for the contest. Your refrain line fits easily into each stanza and is very effective at hammering the message home. All your rhymes are good and your enjambment is top shelf! I especially love the third stanza "may they feel wonder, not just zeal!" Don't we wish!
Good luck in the contest.
all the best,
Rodger
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Hi Tony,
You've written a marvelous Kyrielle Sonnet for the contest. Your refrain line fits easily into each stanza and is very effective at hammering the message home. All your rhymes are good and your enjambment is top shelf! I especially love the third stanza "may they feel wonder, not just zeal!" Don't we wish!
Good luck in the contest.
all the best,
Rodger
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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I very much appreciate your kind review of this Kyrielle Sonnet, Warren and your six stars. Thank you very much. Tony
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
You certainly have my vote! And a true smile from within, not just the plastered on ones that make us wonder what is really beneath! Great piem, simple yet deep, like still waters, my friend.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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You certainly have my vote! And a true smile from within, not just the plastered on ones that make us wonder what is really beneath! Great piem, simple yet deep, like still waters, my friend.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 03-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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What a lovely review, Rhonda. So glad that you enjoyed it! Tony
Comment from lightink
This is wonderful, Tony! I am not ever sure why but it made tear up!
The third stanza had a message in it that resonated with some ancient longing inside of me!
When we humans, but especially when our leaders are harboring a close minded, dogmatic idea of any kind on what life is -without compassion and curiosity - them destruction follows.
I have just one quick question:
It seems that this sentence is incomplete:
"I fear when passion holds the rein,
sustained by gods who feed on pain."
Could it be: I fear (that) passion holds the rein?
This is a wonderful poem that sets the bar really high in the contest.
You say a lot that need to be said -and HEARD by many.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2015
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This is wonderful, Tony! I am not ever sure why but it made tear up!
The third stanza had a message in it that resonated with some ancient longing inside of me!
When we humans, but especially when our leaders are harboring a close minded, dogmatic idea of any kind on what life is -without compassion and curiosity - them destruction follows.
I have just one quick question:
It seems that this sentence is incomplete:
"I fear when passion holds the rein,
sustained by gods who feed on pain."
Could it be: I fear (that) passion holds the rein?
This is a wonderful poem that sets the bar really high in the contest.
You say a lot that need to be said -and HEARD by many.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2015
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Loved this review, lightink! Would that the world could be this simple but, almost by definition, our leaders are hungry for power. I understand where you are coming from with your comment about the sentence starting, 'I fear when...' It is perhaps an archaic use of the verb. It would have been more usual for me to have written, 'I am afraid when...' However, I was bound by the exigencies of scansion!
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Hi Tony, thank you for your gracious response regarding my mistake about the grammar! I just realized that you were saying: "I fear (the time) when" and not "I fear (that) when passion holds the rein, (then, something happens as a result...)" Thank you again!
Warmly,
Lightink
Comment from RYME4U
Well written in the Kyrielle style. I like the questioning tone of this poem and the presentation is very attractive. Great job!
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Well written in the Kyrielle style. I like the questioning tone of this poem and the presentation is very attractive. Great job!
Comment Written 03-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Many thanks for your kind review, Rhyme4U
