net
an experiment20 total reviews
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Your 'experiment' was a success! Loved the quick flow in reading this. Even though there was rhyming it had a lovely flow with a carefree feel to it ... no doubt a result of your clever choice of wording throughout.
Your double meaning of "net" is neatly strung together. Yes, we really are all connected, even if we haven't met. :)
Great poem, Steve!
Connie aka bichonfrisegirl
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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Your 'experiment' was a success! Loved the quick flow in reading this. Even though there was rhyming it had a lovely flow with a carefree feel to it ... no doubt a result of your clever choice of wording throughout.
Your double meaning of "net" is neatly strung together. Yes, we really are all connected, even if we haven't met. :)
Great poem, Steve!
Connie aka bichonfrisegirl
Comment Written 30-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2015
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Hi, Connie - long time no see!
Thanks so much for the great review and the six stars. Quite a new style for me - this one flowed easily, but I haven't been able to repeat!
Steve
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Unfortunately, Steve, I have rarely found time to visit Fanstory this past year. Some health issues and work kind of got in the way. But it's certainly nice to see that good poets such as yourself are still here and still writing up a storm. :) I'm hoping to be able to carve out some more time for it in the not too distant future.
Comment from kiwijenny
This is amazing..I love it ..its verbal delight
A stream a caught-up-ness ....caught-up-nets I mean
Well penned thought stream
God bless
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
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This is amazing..I love it ..its verbal delight
A stream a caught-up-ness ....caught-up-nets I mean
Well penned thought stream
God bless
Comment Written 25-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Jenny
A stream - that's exactly what it's meant to be!
Steve
Comment from I am Cat
Steve,
Well it's quite ridiculous to say that free verse cannot do anything it damn well pleases... if not, we may need to either:
a. rename the bastard,
or...
2. make some new rules. ;)
because, I... for one, just wouldn't enter into such a ridiculous box without a pair of handcuffs and a gun pointed at my head... and even then... eh, maybe still... not so much. lol
This is an amazing piece of poetic art, both in its format, as it travels down the page, and in its playful and metaphoric happenings with words.
I love the depth of meaning... with the double meaning of 'net'... and the lovely
way you've strung the ends together.
I wonder at the description as: an experiment... it makes me a little uneasy... almost as if we're laboratory rats on display, but i"ll attempt to shake that nasty feeling, because i know I"m not in the best of places today (personal spaces), so most likely it me, and nothing to do with anything here.
I absolutely loved it... and if I'm played into an experiment, so be it. ;)
Well done, a Virtual Six from me.
Cat
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Steve,
Well it's quite ridiculous to say that free verse cannot do anything it damn well pleases... if not, we may need to either:
a. rename the bastard,
or...
2. make some new rules. ;)
because, I... for one, just wouldn't enter into such a ridiculous box without a pair of handcuffs and a gun pointed at my head... and even then... eh, maybe still... not so much. lol
This is an amazing piece of poetic art, both in its format, as it travels down the page, and in its playful and metaphoric happenings with words.
I love the depth of meaning... with the double meaning of 'net'... and the lovely
way you've strung the ends together.
I wonder at the description as: an experiment... it makes me a little uneasy... almost as if we're laboratory rats on display, but i"ll attempt to shake that nasty feeling, because i know I"m not in the best of places today (personal spaces), so most likely it me, and nothing to do with anything here.
I absolutely loved it... and if I'm played into an experiment, so be it. ;)
Well done, a Virtual Six from me.
Cat
Comment Written 25-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Cat!
Experiment because it's not a style I have tried before - I have done free verse of course, but this particular way of letting the words stream, almost letting the sound dictate the direction..... My only problem was it wanted to keep going and very easily could have, so I had to rein it in somewhere and force it back to where it started.
Glad you thought it was a goer. I may try something similar with Mikey's no-rules contest.
Have a good weekend. Spring is in the air here and holiday starts today. The garden is calling. Mainly it's shouting, 'Lazy bastard!''
Steve
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
I thought free verse could have some rhyming as I think this would be perfect and a high contender for first place
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Excellent
I thought free verse could have some rhyming as I think this would be perfect and a high contender for first place
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Barb.
My view would be that free verse can do pretty much anything as long as it doesn't have regular rhyme (i.e. a fixed scheme) or meter.
Steve
Comment from Neonewman
Well I would have definitely voted for this brilliantly crafted piece my friend. I enjoyed the smooth, fun, wafting piece you have delivered.
God bless and darn those rules.
Steve
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Well I would have definitely voted for this brilliantly crafted piece my friend. I enjoyed the smooth, fun, wafting piece you have delivered.
God bless and darn those rules.
Steve
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Steve.
I like wafting....
Steve
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Me too Steve! You are welcome my friend.
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Me too Steve! You are welcome my friend.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
These days the rules are made up by anyone who wants to run a competition, it seems. That's the way rules get changed over time, I believe. Despite all this, your poem is a joy to read. I enjoyed it very much and read it out to Pete as I often do. The short staccato phrases came together with clever rhyming and gave the poem a pensive, doleful tone. It's a worthy piece, Steve, Giddy
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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These days the rules are made up by anyone who wants to run a competition, it seems. That's the way rules get changed over time, I believe. Despite all this, your poem is a joy to read. I enjoyed it very much and read it out to Pete as I often do. The short staccato phrases came together with clever rhyming and gave the poem a pensive, doleful tone. It's a worthy piece, Steve, Giddy
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Giddy.
I read it to my other half as well - it sounded good when read aloud.
Steve
Comment from ravenblack
What and incredible word painting of this site, this community bound by the net. This is great read aloud. "Insisting they glistening by starlight in far night where words they have written- hell, I have to stop, or I will just type out the whole poem as parts I liked. Excellent and a six if I had one- the best I have read today. Free verse can have rhyme, just not a set rhyme scheme. Or it can if the rhythm varies.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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What and incredible word painting of this site, this community bound by the net. This is great read aloud. "Insisting they glistening by starlight in far night where words they have written- hell, I have to stop, or I will just type out the whole poem as parts I liked. Excellent and a six if I had one- the best I have read today. Free verse can have rhyme, just not a set rhyme scheme. Or it can if the rhythm varies.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Thank you!
That's a little bit what it was like when I was writing it - I had to force myself to call a halt!
Steve
Comment from krys123
Steve;
-I found your writing to be metaphorically prolific where many of the annotated and emblematic statements are true or full of truisms. They all combined allegorically
to submit themselves to different genres such as: "the two sentimental the temperamental who love for an instant the guilty and innocent high on repentance a sentence with sinners...". This gathering group of alliteration and rhyming words are
, and my terms, metaphorically systematic in the way they are written. All of these people that you have listed and the terms that you have stated are all caught in a net and I like how you use the word net which could be the Internet also.
-A very entertaining and enjoyable read and thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you also.
Alex
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Steve;
-I found your writing to be metaphorically prolific where many of the annotated and emblematic statements are true or full of truisms. They all combined allegorically
to submit themselves to different genres such as: "the two sentimental the temperamental who love for an instant the guilty and innocent high on repentance a sentence with sinners...". This gathering group of alliteration and rhyming words are
, and my terms, metaphorically systematic in the way they are written. All of these people that you have listed and the terms that you have stated are all caught in a net and I like how you use the word net which could be the Internet also.
-A very entertaining and enjoyable read and thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you also.
Alex
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Alex.
Yes, it's a tangle of words, but I hope a pleasant one.
Steve
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You're very welcome Steve
Comment from Sasha
Marvelous work with this one. I love how it streams and how the words connect so well and play with each other. Too bad about the contest, I am sure this would have been a top contender.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Marvelous work with this one. I love how it streams and how the words connect so well and play with each other. Too bad about the contest, I am sure this would have been a top contender.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Sasha.
Streaming is exactly ho I thought of this 'style.' My only problem was getting the stream to stop!
Steve
Comment from Just2Write
I loved this 'streaming' poem, Steve. It took us smoothly from one thought to another and did show by doing that how interconnected words are, and how interconnected people and their dependence on one another is.
Free Verse, is not exactly free - but, you are deadly right. It can certainly rhyme.
I prefer to call rhyming free verse, Vers Libre - The idea for Free Verse, was originally that the rhymes did not fall into any particular form, and that the poet was 'free' to place them wherever.
T. S. Eliot wrote, "No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job".
Very true.
Rose.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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I loved this 'streaming' poem, Steve. It took us smoothly from one thought to another and did show by doing that how interconnected words are, and how interconnected people and their dependence on one another is.
Free Verse, is not exactly free - but, you are deadly right. It can certainly rhyme.
I prefer to call rhyming free verse, Vers Libre - The idea for Free Verse, was originally that the rhymes did not fall into any particular form, and that the poet was 'free' to place them wherever.
T. S. Eliot wrote, "No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job".
Very true.
Rose.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2015
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Thanks, Rose.
My view would be that free verse can do pretty much anything as long as it doesn't have regular rhyme (i.e. a fixed scheme) or meter.
This had so much rhyme, though - I wanted to try this particular way of letting the words stream, almost letting the sound dictate the direction..... My only problem was it wanted to keep going and very easily could have, so I had to rein it in somewhere and force it back to where it started.
Going to try it again soon...
Steve
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Yeah, I've done a few of them, and I must say, that is the way my mind and my muse want to go. With talent like yours, you're sure to write some spectacular poetry. Rose.
