What Lies Beneath
our family history deefines our making16 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
A very well written story that holds the reader's attention from start to finish. This has very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
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A very well written story that holds the reader's attention from start to finish. This has very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. wow, with what is happening in the world today...this is especially poignant...for as I read your story I could see the refuggess streaming into Germany, the Syrians...and somehow it all messed...
I think that family history carries forward..
padumachitta
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Hi. wow, with what is happening in the world today...this is especially poignant...for as I read your story I could see the refuggess streaming into Germany, the Syrians...and somehow it all messed...
I think that family history carries forward..
padumachitta
Comment Written 13-Sep-2015
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello :)
I really like your story, it is very well written. You give a great view of the political and personal history of your family. I think your grandparents are very brave for leaving everything behind. The loss of the little girl was very sad. Good job!
~gypsy
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Hello :)
I really like your story, it is very well written. You give a great view of the political and personal history of your family. I think your grandparents are very brave for leaving everything behind. The loss of the little girl was very sad. Good job!
~gypsy
Comment Written 12-Sep-2015
Comment from robyn corum
1.) My paternal grandfather was born in Lvov--part of southeastern Poland when he was born,
--> two 'borns' together
--> perhaps: 'part of southeastern Poland (at that time) ??
2.) society not very (open) to a Marxist reference.
3.) it became one of the coolest details I (knew) about my family.
4.) twist, Joseph Stalin became a powerful ally for (the) US
What a fascinating family history! I believe there's a book in there somewhere - or at least a short story! Get to work, girl! *smile*
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1.) My paternal grandfather was born in Lvov--part of southeastern Poland when he was born,
--> two 'borns' together
--> perhaps: 'part of southeastern Poland (at that time) ??
2.) society not very (open) to a Marxist reference.
3.) it became one of the coolest details I (knew) about my family.
4.) twist, Joseph Stalin became a powerful ally for (the) US
What a fascinating family history! I believe there's a book in there somewhere - or at least a short story! Get to work, girl! *smile*
Comment Written 12-Sep-2015
Comment from jpduck
A very interesting account of your grandparents' personal experiences of WWII. I enjoyed reading it.
Typos/SPAGs. (Square brackets indicate suggested deletions, and asterisks, suggested insertions):
'Our lives are [so] unique to each of us' ('unique' means 'the only one of its kind' and therefore it cannot be qualified by 'so', 'quite', 'very', etc. Something is either unique, or it isn't).
'offered background as unique as the people living in it' (See above).
'her little girl was swallowed in a mortar shell's ball of fire.' (Insert a blank line after this to mark the new paragraph, or delete the line break to keep the following line in the same paragraph).
'Though only three years old, my father remembers the bombing that night.' (As above).
'one for defense and *the* other for liberation'
'Both were [some of] *among* the biggest battles of WW2'
Adrian
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A very interesting account of your grandparents' personal experiences of WWII. I enjoyed reading it.
Typos/SPAGs. (Square brackets indicate suggested deletions, and asterisks, suggested insertions):
'Our lives are [so] unique to each of us' ('unique' means 'the only one of its kind' and therefore it cannot be qualified by 'so', 'quite', 'very', etc. Something is either unique, or it isn't).
'offered background as unique as the people living in it' (See above).
'her little girl was swallowed in a mortar shell's ball of fire.' (Insert a blank line after this to mark the new paragraph, or delete the line break to keep the following line in the same paragraph).
'Though only three years old, my father remembers the bombing that night.' (As above).
'one for defense and *the* other for liberation'
'Both were [some of] *among* the biggest battles of WW2'
Adrian
Comment Written 12-Sep-2015
Comment from Eric1
Hi apelle, this is a very well presented entry for this particular competition, I thought your story was heartwarming and touched the very fibres of my being, beautifully written sad lament for those little children and the horrors of dictators, I wish you the best of luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Hi apelle, this is a very well presented entry for this particular competition, I thought your story was heartwarming and touched the very fibres of my being, beautifully written sad lament for those little children and the horrors of dictators, I wish you the best of luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thank you so much 😃
Adina
Comment from Sis Cat
What a story. You are right. "My story, just like everybody else's, is full of twists." I am amazed how the life we live today is influenced by the hard choices and sacrifices of the people who came before us. You told gripping stories of your family in Russia during World War II. Something as significant as a hand released from a girl's hand can change our lives forever. Thank you for sharing your compelling, family narrative. I wish you success in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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What a story. You are right. "My story, just like everybody else's, is full of twists." I am amazed how the life we live today is influenced by the hard choices and sacrifices of the people who came before us. You told gripping stories of your family in Russia during World War II. Something as significant as a hand released from a girl's hand can change our lives forever. Thank you for sharing your compelling, family narrative. I wish you success in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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Thanks, I appreciate very much you reading and commenting my story 😃
ADINA
Comment from ciliverde
I find this story to be very compelling. Your family history has shaped who you are, even though you were not alive at the time. I think that your grandmother did not "let go" of her daughter's hand, it was torn from her. It's a grim reality to contemplate. Your aunt's name was Galia, and here it says the artwork accompanying your piece was done by GaliaG...who can say that the original Galia was not a guardian angel?
This is a very moving piece. I wish you peace in your retelling of the family history.
-Carol
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I find this story to be very compelling. Your family history has shaped who you are, even though you were not alive at the time. I think that your grandmother did not "let go" of her daughter's hand, it was torn from her. It's a grim reality to contemplate. Your aunt's name was Galia, and here it says the artwork accompanying your piece was done by GaliaG...who can say that the original Galia was not a guardian angel?
This is a very moving piece. I wish you peace in your retelling of the family history.
-Carol
Comment Written 12-Sep-2015
Comment from Mastery
Great job here, Adina. I wish I had a six to give you for this chapter. didn't you write about your grandparents before? Seems to me I remember something like that. This is good stuff:
"One night with only the clothes on their backs, he and his family left their lives of abundance, love, and happiness to run away from Stalin's idiotic behavior while trying hard not to fall in Hitler's ring of fire, on the other side of the conflict."
Bravo! Blessings, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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Great job here, Adina. I wish I had a six to give you for this chapter. didn't you write about your grandparents before? Seems to me I remember something like that. This is good stuff:
"One night with only the clothes on their backs, he and his family left their lives of abundance, love, and happiness to run away from Stalin's idiotic behavior while trying hard not to fall in Hitler's ring of fire, on the other side of the conflict."
Bravo! Blessings, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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Bob, you're too kind yes you are right , I have several versions of this. With different degrees of detail
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At least I remembered. :) Bob
Comment from LIJ Red
A well written family history from truly horrific settings in a a world torn apart by the greatest war ever. It seems a valid entry for the what's your story contest.
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A well written family history from truly horrific settings in a a world torn apart by the greatest war ever. It seems a valid entry for the what's your story contest.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2015
