Be Careful Of What You Want
A young girls mistake9 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Good job. Your message is strong and true. You explained it well. Your fable needs to be read by everyone in the position of marrying someone who drinks too much and makes idle promises.
One spag: Although it well [will].
Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
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Good job. Your message is strong and true. You explained it well. Your fable needs to be read by everyone in the position of marrying someone who drinks too much and makes idle promises.
One spag: Although it well [will].
Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I was a little confused by the message in this piece. Yes, she got her man but I thought she wanted him to change, which he didn't.
It is a well written piece though from a technical standpoint with only one typo I could see.
Also in the description "girl's mistake".
God luck in the contest.
GMG
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Hi there,
I was a little confused by the message in this piece. Yes, she got her man but I thought she wanted him to change, which he didn't.
It is a well written piece though from a technical standpoint with only one typo I could see.
Also in the description "girl's mistake".
God luck in the contest.
GMG
Comment Written 01-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Thank you for the review. What I am saying is you must be careful of what you go after because you might get it and be sorry
Comment from EMB
Hmm. It seems to me like she never actually got what she wanted, but if she did want a drinking man who doesn't keep a job, what's the problem? LOL
This was a pathetic character, to say the least. Great job with this creation.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Hmm. It seems to me like she never actually got what she wanted, but if she did want a drinking man who doesn't keep a job, what's the problem? LOL
This was a pathetic character, to say the least. Great job with this creation.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Thanks. I guess what I was trying to point out is you might be sorry you wound up with something you thought you wanted. I t might not be so great after all.
Comment from dmt1967
This is a lesson most young girls have to learn for themselves. I like the way this story was told and the moral behind this one is a good message for everybody. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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This is a lesson most young girls have to learn for themselves. I like the way this story was told and the moral behind this one is a good message for everybody. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Thank you for your review
Comment from humpwhistle
Actually, another moral comes to mind. It has to do with the old adage that women often marry men they think they can change, while men marry women they pray won't change. In the end, both miscalculate.
I think the real moral to this story could be: Don't go to sleep with a boy, and expect him to wake up a man.
Just another telling, that's all.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Actually, another moral comes to mind. It has to do with the old adage that women often marry men they think they can change, while men marry women they pray won't change. In the end, both miscalculate.
I think the real moral to this story could be: Don't go to sleep with a boy, and expect him to wake up a man.
Just another telling, that's all.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 31-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Thanks. Yeah, I like your moral to the story too.
Comment from Nosha17
I agree, things only get worse after they are hitched. Trouble is some women are a bit naïve and live in a bit of a fantasy world, ignoring the advice of parents. Well written story, with good clear message. In the last line, it should read: be careful. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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I agree, things only get worse after they are hitched. Trouble is some women are a bit naïve and live in a bit of a fantasy world, ignoring the advice of parents. Well written story, with good clear message. In the last line, it should read: be careful. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 31-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Thanks for the review. I was in a situation similar to this. He never did keep his word
Comment from rspoet
This is a well written story about an all too common occurrence
in today's world and probably in the past as well
Wisdom is like a fine wine
It requires age to perfect
Naive would be an accurate
description.
Excellent moral to the story
Very well illustrated
Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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This is a well written story about an all too common occurrence
in today's world and probably in the past as well
Wisdom is like a fine wine
It requires age to perfect
Naive would be an accurate
description.
Excellent moral to the story
Very well illustrated
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 31-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Thank you for the review. You are right, this is a common thing. I have two nieces who have house-husbands. These guys don't do a thing and my nieces support them. Disgusting.
Comment from TAB_that's me
I've been in that marriage once. You can't change them even after you marry them.
Good story telling and this is well written.
Good luck.
Teresa
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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I've been in that marriage once. You can't change them even after you marry them.
Good story telling and this is well written.
Good luck.
Teresa
Comment Written 31-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Thanks, Teresa. I think a lot of us have been there.
Comment from kiwijenny
Yep I agree...there was one boyfriend my daughter had that If shed married I told her I'd be attached to her veil screaming nooooooooooooo all the way down the aisle..She asked her daddy to help her break up with him,,,he had such control,over her
Saddest thing to marry in hast e repent at leisure
God bless
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Yep I agree...there was one boyfriend my daughter had that If shed married I told her I'd be attached to her veil screaming nooooooooooooo all the way down the aisle..She asked her daddy to help her break up with him,,,he had such control,over her
Saddest thing to marry in hast e repent at leisure
God bless
Comment Written 31-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Thanks for the review. Glad you got your daughter stopped.
