Torment and Choices
A man torn between addiction and family54 total reviews
Comment from Janet Foor
My step father had his addiction (alcohol) and it cost him his wife (my mother), his children and finally his life. A sad story and legacy for anyone. Well done..
Janet
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2015
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My step father had his addiction (alcohol) and it cost him his wife (my mother), his children and finally his life. A sad story and legacy for anyone. Well done..
Janet
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2015
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My father's addiction was alcohol, too. Sometimes drugs as well, but those were mainly an attempt to self medicate so he would't drink, or to come off of a drunk. It effects so many people! Thanks for taking the time to review and for sharing your own heartbreak! Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, davisr, you did an excellent job writing this quatrain poem about the wrong choice that was made that ruined your father's being there for you. i'm sorry about that.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2015
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this is an excellent write, davisr, you did an excellent job writing this quatrain poem about the wrong choice that was made that ruined your father's being there for you. i'm sorry about that.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2015
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It happens to so many people, and I don't talk about it often, but felt compelled yesterday for some reason, to share the story. Thanks for taking the time to review! Take care,
Rhonda
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that's like me today, normally acrostics are hard for me and feel a little forced, but today I picked the word and it just flowed.
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I tried the acrostic, too, for the contest, and it looked so pitiful when I was finished, I changed my mind about entering. Instead, I wrote this poem, and I'm glad I did. Thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from Gloria ....
Oh how well you've written of the profound sorrow attached to those surrounding a family member in the grips of addiction. They are indeed all consuming and those in its claws will resort to anything to get their next fix, whether it be alcohol, drugs or gambling. Such a waste.
Very nicely written although about a very sad subject.
Gloria
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2015
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Oh how well you've written of the profound sorrow attached to those surrounding a family member in the grips of addiction. They are indeed all consuming and those in its claws will resort to anything to get their next fix, whether it be alcohol, drugs or gambling. Such a waste.
Very nicely written although about a very sad subject.
Gloria
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2015
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I know that addiction wears a very ugly face, and as you said, it has vicious claws. That's why I left open what his addiction was, and for him it was alcohol, but I have a son taken down by gambling. An addiction is an addiction and it leaves a huge mess behind! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Rhonda
Comment from Writeronboard
Wow! This was powerful writing. The words just grasp me and I actually feel your pain. This is a wonderful display of your feelings toward whatever he was going through. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Wow! This was powerful writing. The words just grasp me and I actually feel your pain. This is a wonderful display of your feelings toward whatever he was going through. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Thank you! You have grasped the feelings that inspired the poem to a "T". Thanks for the encouragement!
Rhonda
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Pardna. After reading this I feel like the student in this relationship. The rhyme and flow are perfect and the rhythm is supremely presented. The story itself is a shattering one and descriptions such as "almost known" bring it into the readers heart with the power of a typhoon. You are a star my friend. Execptional work, congratulations. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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G'day Pardna. After reading this I feel like the student in this relationship. The rhyme and flow are perfect and the rhythm is supremely presented. The story itself is a shattering one and descriptions such as "almost known" bring it into the readers heart with the power of a typhoon. You are a star my friend. Execptional work, congratulations. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Thank you so much Fez, but you remain the master, and I your humble student. Thanks for the wonderful 6 stars, and brilliant review! Take care
Rhonda
Comment from Rubylou
What a tug-of war! Only this is no game. The horrible hard choices ad fallout form bad ones destroys so much of lives of people. It hurts severely to watch a loved one repeated loose out on life.
We recently buried a family member who struggled. The song at his funeral was ,"My Way." So very, very sad.
Your words are true and quatrains with the rhyme scheme are wonderful.
Rubylou
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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What a tug-of war! Only this is no game. The horrible hard choices ad fallout form bad ones destroys so much of lives of people. It hurts severely to watch a loved one repeated loose out on life.
We recently buried a family member who struggled. The song at his funeral was ,"My Way." So very, very sad.
Your words are true and quatrains with the rhyme scheme are wonderful.
Rubylou
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Thank you, Rubylou, for your comments and review. It is hard to watch, and your analogy of a tug-of-war game is spot on. I'm sorry for your family member. So many people are hurt by destructive behavior and I know the offender doesn't even realize the rippling effect of what they do!
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I can relate to your poem. I am a recovered addict and haven't used in a very long time. But, I have an addictive personality and so I am constantly fighting the demon within. Cigarettes, online spending, munching too much on snacks--these are just some of the ways I deal with life to cope.
An excellent poem. I like the flow and the rhymes in it. The subject matter hits home and so it comes alive for me as I read it. Thank you for sharing your life and your poetry.
Peace, Jesse James
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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I can relate to your poem. I am a recovered addict and haven't used in a very long time. But, I have an addictive personality and so I am constantly fighting the demon within. Cigarettes, online spending, munching too much on snacks--these are just some of the ways I deal with life to cope.
An excellent poem. I like the flow and the rhymes in it. The subject matter hits home and so it comes alive for me as I read it. Thank you for sharing your life and your poetry.
Peace, Jesse James
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Thank you so much for sharing your own battles. I think I inherited a bit of his nature in that I have trouble hanging onto things, like Fan Story, reading, eating, etc. I try to remember and not let it get so out of hand that it interrupts daily living or relationships. Most of the time, I can pull it off. I applaud you for what you have overcome, Jesse. It's a long hard trip.
Rhonda
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Everyone has their battles to overcome. You and I are survivors.
Peace, Jesse James
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Addictions of any kind are serious monsters to battle. Losing someone you care for to that addiction, and seeing what it is doing to them while they are alive, makes it that much worse as this well written poem clearly depicts.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Addictions of any kind are serious monsters to battle. Losing someone you care for to that addiction, and seeing what it is doing to them while they are alive, makes it that much worse as this well written poem clearly depicts.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Thank you for your review and comments, Brett. My father was a wonderful poet, and was the one who turned me onto storytelling at a very early age, but he battled with alcoholism for as long as I knew him. Eventually, he lost the battle. Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
thank you for sharing the words in this poem.
It describes well the father you never 'knew' because he
hid the real man inside his addiction.
The words and the rhyme flowed well, was easy to read and kept my interest.
Well done, Carolyn
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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thank you for sharing the words in this poem.
It describes well the father you never 'knew' because he
hid the real man inside his addiction.
The words and the rhyme flowed well, was easy to read and kept my interest.
Well done, Carolyn
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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Thank you so much, Carolyn. You got the point exactly! Thank you, too, for taking the time to review,
Rhonda
Comment from Pantygynt
I like the idea of "almost" here. The addiction putting up a barrier between you. This is a powerful poem that loses just a little of its power when read aloud in my plummy English accent. The final rhyme of was/flaw only works in an American accent. As soon as I read it that way its power was there.
2nd Review.
Ah the international version! A good powerful rhyme to end on. Much as I like approximate rhyme, in this instance this change has improved the whole thing.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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I like the idea of "almost" here. The addiction putting up a barrier between you. This is a powerful poem that loses just a little of its power when read aloud in my plummy English accent. The final rhyme of was/flaw only works in an American accent. As soon as I read it that way its power was there.
2nd Review.
Ah the international version! A good powerful rhyme to end on. Much as I like approximate rhyme, in this instance this change has improved the whole thing.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2015
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In deference to my many readers, I changed that verse if you would like to reread and see if it sounds better now. I went for a "real" rhyme rather than an "iffy" one. Thanks so much!
Rhonda
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Much better. I have added a comment to my review.
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Okay, thanks so much!
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read it again. I am very happy to satisfy multi national readers! To be honest, I wasn't really happy with those rhymes either. Strong is better! Great suggestion,
Rhonda
