Reviews from

Reflections Of Color

Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Me And The Greyhound"
A collection of my All-Time Best rated song lyrics

44 total reviews 
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
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Rodney Crowell and Roy Clark, "She's crazy for leaving, thank God and Greyhound."
The end rhymes and informal meter work okay for a dude about to beat up a bus.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
    Then I painted the picture well. Glad you enjoyed this one.
Comment from Glasstruth
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The poem really sounds like song lyrics. Nice aabb rhyming. Like the personification of the greyhound. Reads real smoothly. Wonderfully written. Les

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
    Glad you enjoyed this one. It is Country lyric, as most of my poems are.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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I can hear this in music, Brett. It would make a fantastic country song. They always have that sadness about them, losing a loved one, or similar. And, the lesson isn't learned until they have gone, that's when you realise you need them. Too late. Excellent. :) Sandra

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
    Glad you enjoyed this one. It is a Country lyric, as most of my poems are.
Comment from poetadeu
Excellent
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Lovers play little games. OOOPS! Slipped, hit the
ground, left on a Greyhound. Should of felt self
pity for her, she tried left me to cry...Who won
game over no won. Thanks for inspiring me to right.
Greyhounds north bound.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
    Thanks.
reply by poetadeu on 02-Sep-2015
    LOL::}}-Joyce
reply by Anonymous Member on 05-Sep-2015
    LOL::}}-Joyce
Comment from Halfree
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Gave it a five with some reservations....last verse a little weak. Thought you moved the poem along with each verse adding and supporting the previous verse.
Good construction.....would make a great song.
Despite my observation on the last verse, think this is a good piece of work.
Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
    What did you find weak about the last verse?
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
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Hi Brett - appealing to a Greyhound bus. Your loved one has gone and you are having a conversation with the bus. Very much in your style Brett, your stamp is on this poem - it is a good read- Warm regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2015
    Glad you enjoyed these lyrics. Your comments and support always appreciated.
Comment from barkingdog
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It looks like he screwed up, and she took off on the bus. 'She was tired of my lying and always stepping out '
I love this line: 'Destination nowhere but broken promise land ' I could hear it more than once in a song. Work it into a chorus.

:) e

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
    The fifth verse is actually the chorus of the lyric. Glad you enjoyed this little ditty.
reply by barkingdog on 31-Aug-2015
    That works, too.

    :)e
Comment from sweetwoodjax
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this is an excellent write, brett, you did an excellent job writing this poem about the man who lost the love of his life because of his cheating and had to watch his love get on a greyhound bus to leave his butt behind. I enjoyed reading it

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
    Glad you enjoyed this one. Your comments and support always welcome.
Comment from sibhus
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Ah, the traveling highway blues. She left me for another. An I'm hurtin bad brother. Left in the middle of the night, It aint right, it aint right. Now I'm riding these lonesome roads. Cause that bitch took my dog. Sorry couldn't help myself, your poem kinda reminded me of that. I think it was one of my entries in the bad poetry contest. Yours, however is an excellent poem, and I could see it as a song as well. Good stuff there, Brett.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
    Glad you can see it as a song because it is a Country lyric.
Comment from Ben Colder
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Different from Thank God and Greyhound you're gone. Drove those things in the early 60s. Nice poem. You made it sing. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
    Like Roy Clark's song. Glad you enjoyed mine.