When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "Therapy"A family's love is tested.
22 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
It sounds like you found the right therapist. Having a safe place just to vent is a blessing. Like you say, it is not safe to do at work, but you just need someone to listen and nothing else.
You create empathy and understanding. I think we all feel this way sometimes.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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It sounds like you found the right therapist. Having a safe place just to vent is a blessing. Like you say, it is not safe to do at work, but you just need someone to listen and nothing else.
You create empathy and understanding. I think we all feel this way sometimes.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Thanks, w.j. I expected Yvette to be more like a shrink, but she wasn't, thank goodness. Psychiatrists often do more damage than good in my opinion.
Comment from ProSongwriter
Hi Sahri ...
Good therapist, for the most part. Well, at least as far as I can determine from one visit. And she is correct ... men are "fix it" types. We're taught, almost from birth, that that is our job. Need more money ... fix it with a better job or a 2nd job. Need a water hose for the radiator on the car ... buy one and replace the damned thing! And so on. We're expected to be fixers, so it's a learned approach. Of course this doesn't apply to all men, to more than it doesn't.
The combative part isn't quite as ubiquitous, but it's not uncommon.
I'm interested in seeing how you approach Frank in the coming chapters, how he reacts and how you react to his responses. Should be interesting for sure!
Hugs ...
Alan x
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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Hi Sahri ...
Good therapist, for the most part. Well, at least as far as I can determine from one visit. And she is correct ... men are "fix it" types. We're taught, almost from birth, that that is our job. Need more money ... fix it with a better job or a 2nd job. Need a water hose for the radiator on the car ... buy one and replace the damned thing! And so on. We're expected to be fixers, so it's a learned approach. Of course this doesn't apply to all men, to more than it doesn't.
The combative part isn't quite as ubiquitous, but it's not uncommon.
I'm interested in seeing how you approach Frank in the coming chapters, how he reacts and how you react to his responses. Should be interesting for sure!
Hugs ...
Alan x
Comment Written 26-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2015
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I always felt sorry for men because they are expected to provide the main income, to be able to change a tire, repair a broken lamp switch. Role expectations make it difficult for both sexes, but to me, men have the worst deal.
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Shari ... I think it depends on the appreciation and support of the wife.
Being a full-time mother and wife is the most under-appreciated job in the world. No days off ... mo overtime pay ... no vacation ... no job advancement ... on call 24/7 ... little to no professional appreciation and recognition ... child and spouse psychiatrist ... nurse ... cook ... maid. And that's just part of it. So, I'm nor surely I fully agree with you!
Best to you, my friend. Hugs ...
Alan
Comment from mermaids
I too, encourage positive affirmations like your therapist did. It is true, men want to fix problems and we have to remind them to be listeners. The impact of what you went through comes is made clear here. Your mother's death and the loss of the honor classes was too much.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
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I too, encourage positive affirmations like your therapist did. It is true, men want to fix problems and we have to remind them to be listeners. The impact of what you went through comes is made clear here. Your mother's death and the loss of the honor classes was too much.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
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There's one more added component that I didn't think about. Yvette sees it in the next post.
Comment from MsPetra
Isn't that the truth. I have a male friend that thrives on confrontation too. What a pain.
Overall I liked your story. I was compelled to read on. I liked where you went with it.
I don't see anything that needs fixing. On that regard, just keep writing. I will be looking forward to future offerings from you.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
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Isn't that the truth. I have a male friend that thrives on confrontation too. What a pain.
Overall I liked your story. I was compelled to read on. I liked where you went with it.
I don't see anything that needs fixing. On that regard, just keep writing. I will be looking forward to future offerings from you.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
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Thanks MsPetra. Your review encourages me.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Anyone can benefit from positive thinking," ... I heartily endorse this statement.
You make biographical non-fiction very readable, Shari. Not for a moment was I bored or distracted.
Smiles,
Sonali
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2015
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Anyone can benefit from positive thinking," ... I heartily endorse this statement.
You make biographical non-fiction very readable, Shari. Not for a moment was I bored or distracted.
Smiles,
Sonali
Comment Written 25-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2015
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Thanks, Sonali. The big dramatic moments are almost gone. So the story will end pretty soon.
Comment from Muffins
We don't realize that the answers are probably right in front of us until and outside source points it out. I believe you knew all of this but your husband and yourself got in the way of seeing it. It's a shame a lot of people still view seeing a therapist as a sign of weakness instead the bravest one could do for themselves. Great and helpful chapter for anyone thinking about seeking help.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2015
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We don't realize that the answers are probably right in front of us until and outside source points it out. I believe you knew all of this but your husband and yourself got in the way of seeing it. It's a shame a lot of people still view seeing a therapist as a sign of weakness instead the bravest one could do for themselves. Great and helpful chapter for anyone thinking about seeking help.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2015
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Thanks, Muffin. I hoped that would the case as well as the next chapter coming up.
Comment from Deniz22
Interesting...I am surprised you went to a therapist. I'm not criticizing. I just envisioned you as a really tough cookie who would never admit you needed some help. But you are smart enough to know cookies can crumble too. Good for you in getting help. But we men CAN fix things...sometimes...once in a while. :)
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
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Interesting...I am surprised you went to a therapist. I'm not criticizing. I just envisioned you as a really tough cookie who would never admit you needed some help. But you are smart enough to know cookies can crumble too. Good for you in getting help. But we men CAN fix things...sometimes...once in a while. :)
Comment Written 24-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
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Yes, Frank has fixed a couple of situation for me. Long story there. And I've saved his butt at least one time. I think the therapist had the real answer as to why I broke down. Working on chapter 52 soon.
Thanks SM for the sixer. Frustrated LL needed it. :-)
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:)
Comment from boxergirl
Good to share your therapy sessions. Not just for your story but to show others how helpful it can be. I will be interested to see hoew Frank responses to your suggestions. Hopefully he will give you hugs and listen.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
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Good to share your therapy sessions. Not just for your story but to show others how helpful it can be. I will be interested to see hoew Frank responses to your suggestions. Hopefully he will give you hugs and listen.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
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Yea! I had hoped this would help others. Thanks for the feedback.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Shari,
I read a book years ago which addressed how the male and female mind work, with the male always wanting to fix things. I'm having a senior moment, damn it, and can't remember the title.
This is well written, with your usual honesty, realistic dialogue and attention to just the right amount of detail.
Well, I've got to put in my two cents about the first affirmation. It's a good one to help us cope, but I can't say I buy it for every scenario.
Hugs,
Lou
Men are from Mars, Women from Venus - something like that
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
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Hi Shari,
I read a book years ago which addressed how the male and female mind work, with the male always wanting to fix things. I'm having a senior moment, damn it, and can't remember the title.
This is well written, with your usual honesty, realistic dialogue and attention to just the right amount of detail.
Well, I've got to put in my two cents about the first affirmation. It's a good one to help us cope, but I can't say I buy it for every scenario.
Hugs,
Lou
Men are from Mars, Women from Venus - something like that
Comment Written 24-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
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Yes, that's the name of the book although I never read it.
Affirmations do need to fit the occasion. :-)
Comment from alexisleech
I believe that too. Whenever something awful happens, I try to work out what the 'good' part of the disaster is, and in the end, there are usually more pluses than negatives. When I quit the multi-million pound company I worked for because of bullying and incorrect accounting, I ended up with my own company and turned over three quarters of a million in the first year because all of my clients came with me. If you let it get to you, the enemy wins!
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
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I believe that too. Whenever something awful happens, I try to work out what the 'good' part of the disaster is, and in the end, there are usually more pluses than negatives. When I quit the multi-million pound company I worked for because of bullying and incorrect accounting, I ended up with my own company and turned over three quarters of a million in the first year because all of my clients came with me. If you let it get to you, the enemy wins!
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 24-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2015
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That's an impressive story, Alexis. Sounds to me as if you know how to turn the tables around.
