Everyday Riches
a rhymed & metered poem27 total reviews
Comment from country ranch writer
we can count our riches one by one and be thankful for each and everyone we were allowed to receive from the man above us watching and guiding us
  |
we can count our riches one by one and be thankful for each and everyone we were allowed to receive from the man above us watching and guiding us
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
Comment from royowen
A beautifully composed work! the design and melding of artwork and composition is sublime, I can't do that, put the work with a colour background, or centralise the poem! But this is a stunner Dawn, even Christ knockers couldn't dislike this one! When in Europe, a friend asked me who, or what, God was to me, in essence, my reply was as your poetic utterance is! Suggestion, in the 8th stanza line 1, I would drop 'fine' better flow, to what is already a beauty! Well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
|
A beautifully composed work! the design and melding of artwork and composition is sublime, I can't do that, put the work with a colour background, or centralise the poem! But this is a stunner Dawn, even Christ knockers couldn't dislike this one! When in Europe, a friend asked me who, or what, God was to me, in essence, my reply was as your poetic utterance is! Suggestion, in the 8th stanza line 1, I would drop 'fine' better flow, to what is already a beauty! Well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
-
You are so kind! I replaced "fine" with "loud" - to just omit it would spoil the meter (the 'beat' is needing that 11th. syllable), but you're right - "fine" interrupted the 'flow' a bit. That's the ONE SPOT I was not all that pleased with, Eagle Eye! But for some reason, nothing else was occurring to me except "sweet", and I didn't want a repeat of that, so you see? THIS is what being on FanStory is all about! MUCH appreciated, my friend - you inspired me to find a better word! Blessings to you too. :)
-
Now it's perfect, heh, heh,
-
:) Thanks so much!
Comment from boxergirl
A perfect response to the "haters", Dawn. I think it was C.S. Lewis who said, "It is Christ Himself, not the Bible, who is the true word of God...We must not use the Bible as a sort of encyclopedia out of which texts can be taken for use as weapons." Life is precious and God blesses us in many ways. And yes, He knows what we need and even when we mess up, He loves us still.
 |
A perfect response to the "haters", Dawn. I think it was C.S. Lewis who said, "It is Christ Himself, not the Bible, who is the true word of God...We must not use the Bible as a sort of encyclopedia out of which texts can be taken for use as weapons." Life is precious and God blesses us in many ways. And yes, He knows what we need and even when we mess up, He loves us still.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
Comment from Jay Squires
In this lovely poem you've covered birth both small and large, sunrise, sunset and the blackness of night and branched out and embraced all the seasons, each with it's unique beauty ... and used them all to showcase your Awe of God's Universe and your experienced riches within it.
Beautiful job, Dawn. I only wish I had a six for you.
|
In this lovely poem you've covered birth both small and large, sunrise, sunset and the blackness of night and branched out and embraced all the seasons, each with it's unique beauty ... and used them all to showcase your Awe of God's Universe and your experienced riches within it.
Beautiful job, Dawn. I only wish I had a six for you.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
Comment from Sasha
I wonder if your critical Bible Thumping task-master will read this and offer an apology for calling you godless? This is so lovely and soothing to read. I enjoyed it very much. Love the smooth flow, gentle meter and excellent rhyme of this one. Keep up the great work. You are a marvelous poet.
|
I wonder if your critical Bible Thumping task-master will read this and offer an apology for calling you godless? This is so lovely and soothing to read. I enjoyed it very much. Love the smooth flow, gentle meter and excellent rhyme of this one. Keep up the great work. You are a marvelous poet.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
The riches in life are not silver or gold,
and yes - there are trials as we're growing old,
but I wouldn't trade-in one second of time
that He has created - His work is sublime.
I think your words say it all, Dawn - my sentiments
exactly - I thank God for each and every day for the
gift of life to each of my family.
A beautiful poem - perfectly presented and deserving of more than a six, my friend - but I haven't even one left.
Here's a ten ********** Impressive and Exceptional.
Margaret
|
The riches in life are not silver or gold,
and yes - there are trials as we're growing old,
but I wouldn't trade-in one second of time
that He has created - His work is sublime.
I think your words say it all, Dawn - my sentiments
exactly - I thank God for each and every day for the
gift of life to each of my family.
A beautiful poem - perfectly presented and deserving of more than a six, my friend - but I haven't even one left.
Here's a ten ********** Impressive and Exceptional.
Margaret
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
You had me at hello LOL! This is simple a wonderful read and catapulted me into brand new heights of pure joy. LOVED the lamb and the lilacs .... a few of my favorite things. Nicely done and I thank you very much for sharing it.
|
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
Comment from closetpoetjester
A wonderfully rhymed poem Dawn inspired by your faith and you have a flair for this meter.
Miracles abound indeed for those who choose to follow The Lord and also for those who don't. Although not a follower, I DO believe there is something very masterful going on around us with all the beauty you described.
I find nature absolutely breathtaking and particularly the colours and the way they are so cleverly articulated and positioned...not to mention the gammut of fauna that abounds. I can't help but feel there is something fairly huge in the wings orchestrating all this.
It does my head in regularly, but I DO take time to appreciate it and I sometimes even look up at the sky and tell it what a wonderful day it's hosting.
Hmmm...maybe I'm coming round LOL
Anyway, terrific poem...I liked the feline verse the best haha. Me thinks you better get her sorted or keep her inside or your next comedy billing may well be a stage show entitled "Cats" LMAO
Hugs P
|
A wonderfully rhymed poem Dawn inspired by your faith and you have a flair for this meter.
Miracles abound indeed for those who choose to follow The Lord and also for those who don't. Although not a follower, I DO believe there is something very masterful going on around us with all the beauty you described.
I find nature absolutely breathtaking and particularly the colours and the way they are so cleverly articulated and positioned...not to mention the gammut of fauna that abounds. I can't help but feel there is something fairly huge in the wings orchestrating all this.
It does my head in regularly, but I DO take time to appreciate it and I sometimes even look up at the sky and tell it what a wonderful day it's hosting.
Hmmm...maybe I'm coming round LOL
Anyway, terrific poem...I liked the feline verse the best haha. Me thinks you better get her sorted or keep her inside or your next comedy billing may well be a stage show entitled "Cats" LMAO
Hugs P
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
Comment from barbara.wilkey
We often forget all the great things around us. Thank you for sharing this poem. It reminds us how rich we really are, no matter what our circumstances are,
|
We often forget all the great things around us. Thank you for sharing this poem. It reminds us how rich we really are, no matter what our circumstances are,
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
Comment from rspoet
Every day riches in a special poem
Beautifully written, wonderfully rhymed
It's not often you see serenade/spayed as rhymes
Excellent meter using eleven beats
You didn't leave anything for the rest of us to write about
"And autumn has blazes no fire can match,"
one could say the same about this poem
Perfectly written, perfectly presented
Poetry sublime
Beautifully framed, like the quiet window light
Matching eyes of light blue
Exceptional
|
Every day riches in a special poem
Beautifully written, wonderfully rhymed
It's not often you see serenade/spayed as rhymes
Excellent meter using eleven beats
You didn't leave anything for the rest of us to write about
"And autumn has blazes no fire can match,"
one could say the same about this poem
Perfectly written, perfectly presented
Poetry sublime
Beautifully framed, like the quiet window light
Matching eyes of light blue
Exceptional
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
