Exposed
free verse58 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
This is a wonderful metaphor illustrating the writing/creative process Teresa. I actually like the fact that you have chosen not to include artwork as the words alone work much better without an image that may overwhelm or conflict with the clarity of your intent.
Yes, true, when we write we are exposing ourselves and hoping for that deep connection found with a mother.
And yes, the world is decidedly not our mother and therefore will not coddle us and might in fact be nasty very much like the editing process. LOL.
Super ending with it all coming together with the forces of nature, intent and then transformed into something quite beautiful.
Very nicely written, and best wishes to you in the contest.
Gloria
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
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This is a wonderful metaphor illustrating the writing/creative process Teresa. I actually like the fact that you have chosen not to include artwork as the words alone work much better without an image that may overwhelm or conflict with the clarity of your intent.
Yes, true, when we write we are exposing ourselves and hoping for that deep connection found with a mother.
And yes, the world is decidedly not our mother and therefore will not coddle us and might in fact be nasty very much like the editing process. LOL.
Super ending with it all coming together with the forces of nature, intent and then transformed into something quite beautiful.
Very nicely written, and best wishes to you in the contest.
Gloria
Comment Written 10-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
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Thank you so much Gloria:)
Comment from happykat4
Great way to describe the process of poem writing. We start out with words, and phrases, redo it, through out what doesn't work, keep what does. By the time it is when it is fully dressed, it is a work the poet is proud of. Enjoyed it from beginning to end. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Great way to describe the process of poem writing. We start out with words, and phrases, redo it, through out what doesn't work, keep what does. By the time it is when it is fully dressed, it is a work the poet is proud of. Enjoyed it from beginning to end. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you 'got' the poem:)
Comment from Treischel
This brings to mind a shipwreck victim's body decomposing on a deserted beach, partly in the surf. Seagulls are feasting on the remains. A poor poet meets their demise. Oh the travesty. Very good free verse to stimulate the imagination. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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This brings to mind a shipwreck victim's body decomposing on a deserted beach, partly in the surf. Seagulls are feasting on the remains. A poor poet meets their demise. Oh the travesty. Very good free verse to stimulate the imagination. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Thank so much:)
Comment from justafan
I believe I have a notebook of spare parts :).
I know the frustration of having an idea inside and then nothing works :(
I enjoyed this my friend. Thank you for sharing.
Always,
Missy
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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I believe I have a notebook of spare parts :).
I know the frustration of having an idea inside and then nothing works :(
I enjoyed this my friend. Thank you for sharing.
Always,
Missy
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Thank you Missy:)
Comment from sgalletti
Wow! I can't rip it and shred it apart Teresa because I think it is beautifully written. You've composed a very poetic piece of free verse, using subtle rhyme and consonance without a formal rhyme and meter scheme. Most of all, your passion comes through your imagery as opposed to your statements. You show vs. tell. I enjoyed this immensely, and wish you all the best in the contest. Sue
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Wow! I can't rip it and shred it apart Teresa because I think it is beautifully written. You've composed a very poetic piece of free verse, using subtle rhyme and consonance without a formal rhyme and meter scheme. Most of all, your passion comes through your imagery as opposed to your statements. You show vs. tell. I enjoyed this immensely, and wish you all the best in the contest. Sue
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Thank you Sue for the awesome review:)
Comment from LoannaLois
I love this. It is dynamic, surprising, well-thought-out,and wonderful to read. I knew you were headed somewhere, and I love it when I can't figure it out. Your words were well-chosen, also "sea glass shards" is an example of a great visual.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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I love this. It is dynamic, surprising, well-thought-out,and wonderful to read. I knew you were headed somewhere, and I love it when I can't figure it out. Your words were well-chosen, also "sea glass shards" is an example of a great visual.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Thank you for the awesome gift of all those shining stars!!
Comment from The Death
Hi TTM,
Fine use of personification and mixed metaphors to convey how a poem is like a baby. It's development might cause pain but the joy it provides is ultimate, where it is then put for the world to experience. Words undergo revisions, edits...just like the ocean waves roll and roll, and then they appear crystal clear, the way words come out in a poem.
I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Hi TTM,
Fine use of personification and mixed metaphors to convey how a poem is like a baby. It's development might cause pain but the joy it provides is ultimate, where it is then put for the world to experience. Words undergo revisions, edits...just like the ocean waves roll and roll, and then they appear crystal clear, the way words come out in a poem.
I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Thank you so much:)
Comment from Linda Kay
Your words are excellent and crystal clear as shards of glass without any picture. I think the word vulnerable describes the whole piece well, and you did a wonderful job of creating standout imagery here. Good write!
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Your words are excellent and crystal clear as shards of glass without any picture. I think the word vulnerable describes the whole piece well, and you did a wonderful job of creating standout imagery here. Good write!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Thanks for the great review Linda:)
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Teresa. LOL, what would you use for artwork indeed? It would need a warning on it LOL. Well written and a great contest entry and I wish you the best of luck in it mate. I'm still laughing about that statement, cheers Fez
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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G'day Teresa. LOL, what would you use for artwork indeed? It would need a warning on it LOL. Well written and a great contest entry and I wish you the best of luck in it mate. I'm still laughing about that statement, cheers Fez
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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lol. Thanks Fez:)
Comment from Jackarrie
Hi Teresa
I'm laid out
for all to see,
naked, vulnerable,
exposed.
I'd hoped
for nurturing
feeding, suckling
at the breast,
a bottle at best.
I am thinking that you feel exposed when you submit your work for all to see, breast fed is the best reviews you will get, but bottle fed has no real faults.
I enjoyed reading this free verse, I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Mary
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Hi Teresa
I'm laid out
for all to see,
naked, vulnerable,
exposed.
I'd hoped
for nurturing
feeding, suckling
at the breast,
a bottle at best.
I am thinking that you feel exposed when you submit your work for all to see, breast fed is the best reviews you will get, but bottle fed has no real faults.
I enjoyed reading this free verse, I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Mary
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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You got it. Thanks Mary:)
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Good. x
