The Almond Trees
Blank Verse52 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
I wish I had a 6 to give you for this. Your descriptive phrases in this one are stunning. Beautifully written and told a lovely and touching story of nine trees. I especially like your closing lines:
I've grown to like their lovely uselessness;
their stand in face of failing life and age.
This is definitely a winner in my book. I wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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I wish I had a 6 to give you for this. Your descriptive phrases in this one are stunning. Beautifully written and told a lovely and touching story of nine trees. I especially like your closing lines:
I've grown to like their lovely uselessness;
their stand in face of failing life and age.
This is definitely a winner in my book. I wish you all the best.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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Thank you so much for this review, Smurphgirlsasha, and for your encouragement. Very much appreciated. Tony
Comment from evilynne
The poem is lovely and descriptive, well written and enjoyable. The pictures are an excellent compliment and the background notes are informative. Evi
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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The poem is lovely and descriptive, well written and enjoyable. The pictures are an excellent compliment and the background notes are informative. Evi
Comment Written 18-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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Thank you very much for your review, Evi, and for your kind words. Much appreciated! Tony
Comment from rama devi
WOW--Wish I had a six for this--and it definitely gets my vote in the contest.
Eloquent and richly textured and descriptive.
Flawless meter.
Superb phonetics.
Theme thread woven cohesively with a superb closing note.
Superb personification.
Elegant flow.
But my favorite aspect is the stand-out phrases--imaginative, innovative and memorable--my favorites (in order of appearance):
extend arthritic arms towards the dawn
and
that wove their silver strands in birds' nest hair.
and
small vanities of age, quite shyly worn
unlike the bloom of youth's fecundity.
and
an amber feast warmed by the winter sun.
and
The gardens waft their narcissistic scents
Two minor suggestions:
*Ten years ago(,) I nearly cut them down
*
The gardens waft their narcissistic scents
O(o)f lavender for bees and jonquil bulbs,
I loved reading this aloud--every line, especially the ones above.
Very fine assonance of I and consonance o P, S, R and T in these lines:
the nubile pear and peach and cherry lips
in Spring, but these nine trees will case their gifts
in green, a cloak to hide their bitterness.
Exceptionally effective closing liens:
I've grown to like their lovely uselessness;
their stand in face of failing life and age.
****** Six stars
Hope this wins the contest.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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WOW--Wish I had a six for this--and it definitely gets my vote in the contest.
Eloquent and richly textured and descriptive.
Flawless meter.
Superb phonetics.
Theme thread woven cohesively with a superb closing note.
Superb personification.
Elegant flow.
But my favorite aspect is the stand-out phrases--imaginative, innovative and memorable--my favorites (in order of appearance):
extend arthritic arms towards the dawn
and
that wove their silver strands in birds' nest hair.
and
small vanities of age, quite shyly worn
unlike the bloom of youth's fecundity.
and
an amber feast warmed by the winter sun.
and
The gardens waft their narcissistic scents
Two minor suggestions:
*Ten years ago(,) I nearly cut them down
*
The gardens waft their narcissistic scents
O(o)f lavender for bees and jonquil bulbs,
I loved reading this aloud--every line, especially the ones above.
Very fine assonance of I and consonance o P, S, R and T in these lines:
the nubile pear and peach and cherry lips
in Spring, but these nine trees will case their gifts
in green, a cloak to hide their bitterness.
Exceptionally effective closing liens:
I've grown to like their lovely uselessness;
their stand in face of failing life and age.
****** Six stars
Hope this wins the contest.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 18-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2015
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Thank you so very much for your warm words of encouragement, RD. I'm delighted that you enjoyed this one. That, in itself, is worth more than a win in the contest. Best wishes, Tony.
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Voted for this one. Bravo for that! :) Best , rd
Comment from bard owl
What an amazing poem you have penned. The imagery is so clear I can see those old almond trees, not unlike elderly mortals, clinging to life as best they can - their heyday passed. Your poem is quite lyrical despite the fact there is no rhyme, flowing with gentle fluidity from beginning to end.
I do love trees, whether young or old. Seems to me they have a soul. They witness so much in their lives and host an array of life.
Thank you for a beautiful read.
Blessings to you, Linda
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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What an amazing poem you have penned. The imagery is so clear I can see those old almond trees, not unlike elderly mortals, clinging to life as best they can - their heyday passed. Your poem is quite lyrical despite the fact there is no rhyme, flowing with gentle fluidity from beginning to end.
I do love trees, whether young or old. Seems to me they have a soul. They witness so much in their lives and host an array of life.
Thank you for a beautiful read.
Blessings to you, Linda
Comment Written 27-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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Thanks very much, Linda, for your kind comments and the six stars. My brother's home in England has an oak tree reputed to be 1200 years old. Now there's a tree that could tell a story!
Comment from Mark Valentine
Wow! I wish I had a six - what a great topic, what a great poem. The personification is spot-on: the arthritic limbs of the almond trees, the narcisstic scents of man-made gardens. The reader gets a real sense of the "personality"of these trees; unflashy, paid little attention, yet strong and wise. The language is beautiful. I'm so glad I came upon this one.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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Wow! I wish I had a six - what a great topic, what a great poem. The personification is spot-on: the arthritic limbs of the almond trees, the narcisstic scents of man-made gardens. The reader gets a real sense of the "personality"of these trees; unflashy, paid little attention, yet strong and wise. The language is beautiful. I'm so glad I came upon this one.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
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Thanks, Mark. I appreciate your review - and particularly your understanding of why I used 'narcissistic' rather than 'narcissus' (apart from the extra syllable required!). Best wishes, Tony
Comment from dpgarrick38
What I strive for when reading poetry is to travel in time and space and feel as if I'm experiencing the exact same emotions as the writer. This poem is artfully crafted and allowed me to do exactly that. Excellent perspective and inquisitiveness!
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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What I strive for when reading poetry is to travel in time and space and feel as if I'm experiencing the exact same emotions as the writer. This poem is artfully crafted and allowed me to do exactly that. Excellent perspective and inquisitiveness!
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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This is high praise indeed, dpg. Communication at the level you describe is something that makes poetry as a form of communication worthwhile. Thank you both for your review and for the six stars.
Comment from Alan K Pease
I like your use of blank verse, good enough to act as a template for others who may wish to try it - an apt place for metaphors of every kind deeply embeded in the trees foliage.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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I like your use of blank verse, good enough to act as a template for others who may wish to try it - an apt place for metaphors of every kind deeply embeded in the trees foliage.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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Thank you both for your review and for the six stars, Alan. I learnt quite a bit about both the construction and potential of blank verse in mountainwriter49's advanced course.
Comment from Treischel
An outstanding blank verse description of these almond trees and their history and surroundings. It flowed very well on its iambic pentameter. Nice pictures. The poetic imagery was superb. Nice touches of alliteration throughout. I didn't mind the il-line rhyme at all. Glad you didn't cut them down.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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An outstanding blank verse description of these almond trees and their history and surroundings. It flowed very well on its iambic pentameter. Nice pictures. The poetic imagery was superb. Nice touches of alliteration throughout. I didn't mind the il-line rhyme at all. Glad you didn't cut them down.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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Thanks, Tom. I appreciate your review. Glad you enjoyed the poem. Tony
Comment from Curly Girly
This is an enjoyable poem to read. It tells the story of your almond trees. You have a beautiful looking farm with its sea view. The history associated with trees can be interesting. We have many trees on our farm. The last guy thought he was St Francis ... went a bit crazy planting way too many.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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This is an enjoyable poem to read. It tells the story of your almond trees. You have a beautiful looking farm with its sea view. The history associated with trees can be interesting. We have many trees on our farm. The last guy thought he was St Francis ... went a bit crazy planting way too many.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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Thanks, Curly Girly. I appreciate your review. Glad you enjoyed the poem. We have rather too many trees as well. Our predecessors were involved in an organisation called Trees for Life. Unfortunately they had a propensity for planting trees under power lines, most of which we have had to remove. Tony
Comment from LIJ Red
I love the sight of old trees, like olive trees and almonds, even the walnuts and apples here in north Georgia. I read this like free verse or prose, and take your
word about the iambic pentameter..excellent reading.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
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I love the sight of old trees, like olive trees and almonds, even the walnuts and apples here in north Georgia. I read this like free verse or prose, and take your
word about the iambic pentameter..excellent reading.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
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Many thanks for your review, LIJR. Appreciated. Tony
