Dead Man Walking
A young Life Wasted38 total reviews
Comment from MizKat
Hi Nomi,
This is a well written, beautiful poem that is so touching. Also it has sadness in it. Yes, this world would be a better place if children would listen to their parents. But, many of them go their own way and do their own thing. God is always watching over them, waiting for them to come to Him.
Kat
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Hi Nomi,
This is a well written, beautiful poem that is so touching. Also it has sadness in it. Yes, this world would be a better place if children would listen to their parents. But, many of them go their own way and do their own thing. God is always watching over them, waiting for them to come to Him.
Kat
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Thank you so much. Your words touch my heart and I am overwhelmed by your kindness.
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Well your a great poet and what you write touches my heart too.
Comment from oNray
Good job old friend in presenting your poem on the world as it is today. Other than the church we have no way to reach these people. They grasp for anything but run from the one that can and will help- God
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Good job old friend in presenting your poem on the world as it is today. Other than the church we have no way to reach these people. They grasp for anything but run from the one that can and will help- God
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Thank you, I am so grateful for faithful friends like you. Your kind and generous comments continue to encourage me and to make my life better and more enjoyable.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Nomi...
_ Such a spot on target writing.
_ I can identify with a lot of which you speak in this.
_ My youngest son put us though a lot.
_ They do wrong---it follows them, and the family pays on both sides of the fence. Lives shattered---nobody wins.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Hi, Nomi...
_ Such a spot on target writing.
_ I can identify with a lot of which you speak in this.
_ My youngest son put us though a lot.
_ They do wrong---it follows them, and the family pays on both sides of the fence. Lives shattered---nobody wins.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Hello Jax. I am sorry for the trouble that you experienced and I am grateful that my words gave you something which you can relate to. Be strong God will bless you and your family.
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Thank you. (*<*)
Comment from GWinterwin
Good poem with a very true, and needed message. Yes so many will die young, and live lives of grief, and despair because they didn't listen to good advice.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Good poem with a very true, and needed message. Yes so many will die young, and live lives of grief, and despair because they didn't listen to good advice.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Thank you. I had no idea when I wrote this that I would touch so many people who have encountered similar situations as this.
Comment from amada
You write powerful words in this beautiful rhyming poem. This is a great work to be read to all of us, but specially young people. Thank you for sharing it. Great.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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You write powerful words in this beautiful rhyming poem. This is a great work to be read to all of us, but specially young people. Thank you for sharing it. Great.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Thank you so much. I cannot say strongly enough how much I appreciate your kind and generous remarks.Wow.
Comment from TPAC
Poetic in structuring talents of writers explodes, going up a incline then running down, what a rush, descriptive line statements -subject of dead walking a definition of earth house in hell, Jesus statement of the dead burying the dead, the dead being those non-believers in God
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Poetic in structuring talents of writers explodes, going up a incline then running down, what a rush, descriptive line statements -subject of dead walking a definition of earth house in hell, Jesus statement of the dead burying the dead, the dead being those non-believers in God
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Your command of the English language is impressive. I know I'm impressed. Your words of praise have me thinking that maybe I might be better than I think I am. Nevertheless I thank you so much for your review.
Comment from mvbrooks
Sad poem that appropriately depicts the loss of a life to bad decisions. The narration is strong and invites the reader to experience the loss with the narrator.
A thought:
"He went on a journey
But then he lost his way "
Both times I read the line "But then he lost his way," it seemed to have too many syllables and seemed "out of sync" with the other lines.
Consider omitting either "but" or "then" -- the message seems the same.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Sad poem that appropriately depicts the loss of a life to bad decisions. The narration is strong and invites the reader to experience the loss with the narrator.
A thought:
"He went on a journey
But then he lost his way "
Both times I read the line "But then he lost his way," it seemed to have too many syllables and seemed "out of sync" with the other lines.
Consider omitting either "but" or "then" -- the message seems the same.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Thank you I was not happy with the entire phrase, but grew tired of fighting the battle with syllable count and just gave in. I know that I am capable of doing better but the hour grew lat, my eyes grew heavy and I settled.
Comment from Eric1
Hi Nomi, I absolutely loved your take on dead man walking, your rhyming skills were brilliant, the rhythm was outstanding and the flow superb, great poem my friend.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Hi Nomi, I absolutely loved your take on dead man walking, your rhyming skills were brilliant, the rhythm was outstanding and the flow superb, great poem my friend.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Thank you Eric, I appreciate your great comments very much. Thanks for your wonderful review.
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It was a pleasure to review my friend.
