Oh to capture.
Moonlight's beams109 total reviews
Comment from CR Delport
I live on a smallholding outside the city, and on a full moon night it is almost like daylight outside. As always, this is very well written.
Take care.
Christelle.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2015
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I live on a smallholding outside the city, and on a full moon night it is almost like daylight outside. As always, this is very well written.
Take care.
Christelle.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2015
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Thank you Christelle for your great encouragement, lovely words and generosity, my gratitude, blessings, Roy.
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hi Roywen..Beautiful lament and an exquisite gem. You capture the dimensions of expressing the human condition of wanting to love as He quite deeply...I loved your first paragraph about riding the lightening. You concluded this piece most interestingly with 'love descends on hope's sweet dove. Brilliant...Cheers.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2015
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Hi Roywen..Beautiful lament and an exquisite gem. You capture the dimensions of expressing the human condition of wanting to love as He quite deeply...I loved your first paragraph about riding the lightening. You concluded this piece most interestingly with 'love descends on hope's sweet dove. Brilliant...Cheers.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2015
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Thank you Benjamin, for your great encouragement, lovely words and generosity, my gratitude, blessings, Roy.
Comment from angelface2
Roy, this is absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this and the verse from the Bible. I think I will have to memorize that verse. It is lovely. good job. Miss Sally
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Roy, this is absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this and the verse from the Bible. I think I will have to memorize that verse. It is lovely. good job. Miss Sally
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Thank you Angel, for your great encouragement, lovely words and generosity, my gratitude, blessings, Roy.
Comment from Poetofheart2013
A very beautiful poem full of good bright imaging and very colorful.
Everything flows to so well and everything just comes to life.
I really enjoy reading it.
Keep the good work
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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A very beautiful poem full of good bright imaging and very colorful.
Everything flows to so well and everything just comes to life.
I really enjoy reading it.
Keep the good work
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Thank you, for your great encouragement, lovely words and generosity, gratitude, blessings, Roy.
Comment from Curly Girly
This is an enjoyable poem to read. I particularly liked the second stanza--poetry perfection. The last stanza reminds us who is able to speak like thunder--and may we not forget Him and His power.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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This is an enjoyable poem to read. I particularly liked the second stanza--poetry perfection. The last stanza reminds us who is able to speak like thunder--and may we not forget Him and His power.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Thank you Nicole, for your great encouragement, lovely words and generosity, my gratitude, blessings, Roy.
Comment from TKField
Well R, I thought this was one of your better efforts, for the most part. After basically writing the same poem for the umpteenth time (life is full of problems, but God has my back so I'm gonna be fine, etc.). This one had some nice lyrical, metaphorical (if a bit mixed) style to it. I really liked all the dreams and beams and seams and dreams. It's very pretty and the message of love is positive and pertinent. The "if I could", refrain is reminiscent of the late, great Jim Croce's song, "Time In A Bottle", but I suppose this hypothetical is universal.
Here's my honest take R, you have a tendency to throttle the glorious English language with pretzel like sentence structure, forced rhymes and jerry-rigged linguistic contortions. For example..."I'd speak like thunder, hope would craft." makes my head hurt. But hey, you needed a rhyme for "shaft" and "craft" just happened to sitting there on the shelf collecting dust so, you pull it to work in a groaner line like that one.
"If I, a scribe, wrote words like gems
I'd capture light with silver stems.
if I could grant all dreams come true
then purest love in cups I'd brew."
Very nice, but I'd make it "The" purest love, etc. It needs the definite article, I think.
"If only I could weave love's spell,
impart hope's flower, ring its bell,
if I could sew those worthwhile dreams,
on golden looms with shining seams."
Very nice. I thought this was the strongest stanza in the poem, and in my opinion, would have been a good place to stop, because the next one torpedoes the good ship "Oh To Capture", with the standard issue shout out to your supernatural ticket to ride. This fast train to cliche junction is followed by the laziest, cheapest rhyme in all rhyming poetry. I speak of "Love" and "Dove", a combination to be avoided at all cost (Love and above is a close second). If they ever enforce poetry crimes, this one will rate something close to a life sentence.
Other than that, I liked it. A baby step in the right direction.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Well R, I thought this was one of your better efforts, for the most part. After basically writing the same poem for the umpteenth time (life is full of problems, but God has my back so I'm gonna be fine, etc.). This one had some nice lyrical, metaphorical (if a bit mixed) style to it. I really liked all the dreams and beams and seams and dreams. It's very pretty and the message of love is positive and pertinent. The "if I could", refrain is reminiscent of the late, great Jim Croce's song, "Time In A Bottle", but I suppose this hypothetical is universal.
Here's my honest take R, you have a tendency to throttle the glorious English language with pretzel like sentence structure, forced rhymes and jerry-rigged linguistic contortions. For example..."I'd speak like thunder, hope would craft." makes my head hurt. But hey, you needed a rhyme for "shaft" and "craft" just happened to sitting there on the shelf collecting dust so, you pull it to work in a groaner line like that one.
"If I, a scribe, wrote words like gems
I'd capture light with silver stems.
if I could grant all dreams come true
then purest love in cups I'd brew."
Very nice, but I'd make it "The" purest love, etc. It needs the definite article, I think.
"If only I could weave love's spell,
impart hope's flower, ring its bell,
if I could sew those worthwhile dreams,
on golden looms with shining seams."
Very nice. I thought this was the strongest stanza in the poem, and in my opinion, would have been a good place to stop, because the next one torpedoes the good ship "Oh To Capture", with the standard issue shout out to your supernatural ticket to ride. This fast train to cliche junction is followed by the laziest, cheapest rhyme in all rhyming poetry. I speak of "Love" and "Dove", a combination to be avoided at all cost (Love and above is a close second). If they ever enforce poetry crimes, this one will rate something close to a life sentence.
Other than that, I liked it. A baby step in the right direction.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Thanks for the review,and suggestions
Why do you call yourself TK? sort of mysterious, like PT Barnum. An anonymity that builds a wall! But I suppose it gives a sort of mystique! Roy
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There's nothing mysterious about it. TK stands for Thomas Knight.
Comment from Alan K Pease
May you always pen a poem that we have a problem deciding which is best - past or present - and look to a future of more to come from your gifted mind.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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May you always pen a poem that we have a problem deciding which is best - past or present - and look to a future of more to come from your gifted mind.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Thank you Alan, for your great encouragement, lovely words and generosity, my gratitude, blessings, Roy.
Comment from Kingsland
This poem has a very good cadence and it is also written in a good format as well. Everything in this written form lines up perfectly for a well structured poem.I enjoyed reading and writing this response for it... John
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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This poem has a very good cadence and it is also written in a good format as well. Everything in this written form lines up perfectly for a well structured poem.I enjoyed reading and writing this response for it... John
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Thank you John, for the great review, and comments, my gratitude, blessings, Roy.
Comment from risktaker
I like the message and the word choice. The word choice is effective and the rhyme enhances the imagery. I relate t o "But I'm not God; I cannot bring,
this boundless joy that makes hearts sing,
but this I know, my God is love,
and love descends on hope's sweet dove." I live each day in hope and faith in God.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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I like the message and the word choice. The word choice is effective and the rhyme enhances the imagery. I relate t o "But I'm not God; I cannot bring,
this boundless joy that makes hearts sing,
but this I know, my God is love,
and love descends on hope's sweet dove." I live each day in hope and faith in God.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Thank you, for your great encouragement, lovely words and generosity, my gratitude, blessings, Roy.
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ok
Comment from scongrove
Beautiful poem and beautiful picture. I love the moon. It's so mysterious, and I love to run when there is a full moon in the morning. It does remind me of love and wishes. This really captured my attention. I remember running one morning under the moon's beautiful light and wished for my soulmate. Guess what? God heard me. Two weeks later I met my soulmate! God does hear us, and he does give us wonderful gifts.
Thanks for sharing Roy. I really enjoyed reading this.
Shana :)
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Beautiful poem and beautiful picture. I love the moon. It's so mysterious, and I love to run when there is a full moon in the morning. It does remind me of love and wishes. This really captured my attention. I remember running one morning under the moon's beautiful light and wished for my soulmate. Guess what? God heard me. Two weeks later I met my soulmate! God does hear us, and he does give us wonderful gifts.
Thanks for sharing Roy. I really enjoyed reading this.
Shana :)
Comment Written 03-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Wow great story Shana, isn't it great to find someone to share life with! Thanks again Shana for your wonderful support, and fantastic review and stars, blessings, Roy.
