Let's Talk Dirty!
Viewing comments for Chapter 84 "Time to Party!"The story about three women who need to make money
18 total reviews
Comment from Glasstruth
Wow! You've really mastered the idea of a screenplay. Your writing here is just as good as the original. The dialogue is so believable and real. The section here, seems to feature Laura mainly, but the others are far from being second fiddle. This leaves a lot of speculation as to what's next? The hotel, relationships, and where's the money going to come from? The play looks very professional. Keep it up! Les
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Wow! You've really mastered the idea of a screenplay. Your writing here is just as good as the original. The dialogue is so believable and real. The section here, seems to feature Laura mainly, but the others are far from being second fiddle. This leaves a lot of speculation as to what's next? The hotel, relationships, and where's the money going to come from? The play looks very professional. Keep it up! Les
Comment Written 02-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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And I'm loving the challenge! It's a lot easier than I thought it would be because I have so much dialogue in the book. Your encouragement is really appreciated, Les. Thank you!
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Alexis. So their first drunken foray together was a success. I enjoy the sarcasm about the love lives and ex's. You have a nice relaxed writing stle and I enjoy it mate. Well done, cheers Fez
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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G'day Alexis. So their first drunken foray together was a success. I enjoy the sarcasm about the love lives and ex's. You have a nice relaxed writing stle and I enjoy it mate. Well done, cheers Fez
Comment Written 02-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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Shit! You might draw a breath with the next post! XXX
Comment from Annette Gulliver
I think you've nailed this screenwriting gig, Alexis. That was a very funny scene, with the three girls getting blotto... the bathroom scene would be great on film.
Keep at it, you are doing well.
Annette
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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I think you've nailed this screenwriting gig, Alexis. That was a very funny scene, with the three girls getting blotto... the bathroom scene would be great on film.
Keep at it, you are doing well.
Annette
Comment Written 01-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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Truth is, I'm loving it, Annette. I'll only post a couple more of the film script scenes, but I think you'll enjoy them! Alexis xxx
Comment from cercie
Wow you are sure getting good at this
Maybe this should be your new career.
It was easy to follow and the moods and facial expressions well described.
Great my friend
I wish I had a six because you deserve it
Hugs
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Wow you are sure getting good at this
Maybe this should be your new career.
It was easy to follow and the moods and facial expressions well described.
Great my friend
I wish I had a six because you deserve it
Hugs
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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I'm loving it, Chris. In fact, it's easier than writing prose because what you see is what you get. It's then over to the director and actors to turn it into something meaningful!
Alexis xxx
Comment from Spitfire
Good for you. You filled in the missing information through well-crafted dialogue. As I mentioned before, the bathroom scene will go great on film.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Good for you. You filled in the missing information through well-crafted dialogue. As I mentioned before, the bathroom scene will go great on film.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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I really appreciate your review, Shari, especially as I know you do some script writing yourself. The bathroom scene actually happened to me and a friend, and yes, my bum was sore for days!
Alexis xxx
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Perhaps you might want to send these first pages to the your agent to see if that's what he wants.
Comment from rwilliam
Great job.I am going to be challenged to find new ways to say how amazing you're writing is! Bravo! Great work!
I didn't see anything to fix. I am enjoying reading it again and in this venue. It's fun and I'm learning as I go!
:-D
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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Great job.I am going to be challenged to find new ways to say how amazing you're writing is! Bravo! Great work!
I didn't see anything to fix. I am enjoying reading it again and in this venue. It's fun and I'm learning as I go!
:-D
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015
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If it wasn't for amazing encouragement like this, I'm sure I would still be writing my first book. Thank you! Alexis xxx
Comment from wordsfromsue
The 7th and 8th bold JENNY dialogs end in "...last me a lifetime." I didn't know if that's intentional to give her speech a parrot-like effect (last me a lifetime ...last me a lifetime!)
I think you've picked three great scenes.
My only question might be, does there need to be a scene that introduces the whole 'talk dirty' concept, or have you not gotten there yet and I'm being an impatient child?
You know I have my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you that the powers that be are wise enough to pick this up as a movie. :-)
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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The 7th and 8th bold JENNY dialogs end in "...last me a lifetime." I didn't know if that's intentional to give her speech a parrot-like effect (last me a lifetime ...last me a lifetime!)
I think you've picked three great scenes.
My only question might be, does there need to be a scene that introduces the whole 'talk dirty' concept, or have you not gotten there yet and I'm being an impatient child?
You know I have my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you that the powers that be are wise enough to pick this up as a movie. :-)
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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It is so frustrating, Sue. Like having a gag applied, the actors and directors decide how it plays. On a plus side, it removes a lot of responsibility! Love, love, love the six!
Comment from Curly Girly
Your layout looks good to me. It is simple and clear to read and understand.
This sums up Laura's predicament with dating:
We can only talk on Skype because he lives and works in North Carolina.
Skype does not work where we live.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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Your layout looks good to me. It is simple and clear to read and understand.
This sums up Laura's predicament with dating:
We can only talk on Skype because he lives and works in North Carolina.
Skype does not work where we live.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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I can't imagine having Skype now because it connects me to my friends all over the world. I'm so glad you think it looks okay, Nicole. This has been a fairly scary transition! Alexis xxx
Comment from Cindy Warren
That's funny. Love the part about Jenny falling in the bath. I actually had to call the paramedics to get a guy out of a wicker laundry basket at the seniors' home. It was one of those tall ones with the lid. The lid was open and he tried to transfer from his wheelchair to the toilet and slipped and went butt first into the basket. He was a 200+ pound man. No way I could get him out. Some of your scenes really bring back memories.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
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That's funny. Love the part about Jenny falling in the bath. I actually had to call the paramedics to get a guy out of a wicker laundry basket at the seniors' home. It was one of those tall ones with the lid. The lid was open and he tried to transfer from his wheelchair to the toilet and slipped and went butt first into the basket. He was a 200+ pound man. No way I could get him out. Some of your scenes really bring back memories.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
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I can well imagine! This actually happened to a friend of mine, and although not overweight, it was impossible to get her out the bath until I did the 'count to three' bit. None of it helped by copious amounts of alcohol!
Alexis xxx
Comment from royowen
Well done again. I'm still not at the point I was when I started reading before. A night of high jinx, they all get sloshed and Jenny gets stuck in the bath. I can understand how their collective circumstance lead them to pursuing the series' theme "talking dirty" well done, I really enjoyed the mechanics, I'm glad you had a lot of dialogue going on, it makes for interesting interaction and scripts. So good scripting, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
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Well done again. I'm still not at the point I was when I started reading before. A night of high jinx, they all get sloshed and Jenny gets stuck in the bath. I can understand how their collective circumstance lead them to pursuing the series' theme "talking dirty" well done, I really enjoyed the mechanics, I'm glad you had a lot of dialogue going on, it makes for interesting interaction and scripts. So good scripting, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
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As I mentioned before, this has been a chance to bring everyone up to speed with the characters now at the Bedford, so it has a dual purpose. Yes, having a lot of dialogue certainly helps! Thank you so much for your continued support - I really do appreciate it.
Back to the drawing board! Alexis xxx
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I want you to do well, you deserve it.
