haiku (energy and mass)
haiku contest entry22 total reviews
Comment from Mary H-W
That's a beautiful, short poem that made me nod in agreement, and smile.
Great word choices, and all around look.
Good luck, and I"m glad to have read it.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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That's a beautiful, short poem that made me nod in agreement, and smile.
Great word choices, and all around look.
Good luck, and I"m glad to have read it.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2015
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Thank you for the lovely review
Comment from BlueMarble
You've painted a beautiful image of the night sky that I love watching. Very nicely done. It goes beautifully with the art work you chose, but would stand alone too.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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You've painted a beautiful image of the night sky that I love watching. Very nicely done. It goes beautifully with the art work you chose, but would stand alone too.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Thank you
Comment from cmowen87
Loved the artwork. Loved how well it tied into your poem so besutifully. I also have a hard time usually understanding haiku poems but I understood your perfectly. Great job
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Loved the artwork. Loved how well it tied into your poem so besutifully. I also have a hard time usually understanding haiku poems but I understood your perfectly. Great job
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Thank you, it means a great deal you understood this haiku. As they are "snapshots" of life in or out of the universe.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, val, is this the haiku that got disqualified? I was reading about it in the forum today when I was searching for something else. I don't see anything wrong with it.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
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this is an excellent write, val, is this the haiku that got disqualified? I was reading about it in the forum today when I was searching for something else. I don't see anything wrong with it.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
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Thank you, and yes it is the one disqualified. I've let that go, but through my own money I'm giving a chance at redemption.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
A great nature Haiku with vivid imagery of the formation of the cosmos wit a powerful aha moment in the third line.
I wish you luck with this excellent contest entry.
Roger
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
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A great nature Haiku with vivid imagery of the formation of the cosmos wit a powerful aha moment in the third line.
I wish you luck with this excellent contest entry.
Roger
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
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Well, Roger, you've made my day! I'm so pleased with your "exceptional" - I would give you a hug if you were near. Hugs
Comment from tfawcus
This is a graphic description of the night sky, with a sense of all the wonder of the universe. Energy and mass - I have too little of one and too much of the other.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
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This is a graphic description of the night sky, with a sense of all the wonder of the universe. Energy and mass - I have too little of one and too much of the other.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the wonderful review.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello Val,
I like your haiku ~(energy and mass)~it has the proper amount of syllables and a nice satori line. Good concrete images. Good job!
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
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Hello Val,
I like your haiku ~(energy and mass)~it has the proper amount of syllables and a nice satori line. Good concrete images. Good job!
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Gypsy, you've always been so supportive of my writing.
Comment from JennaG
I loved this entry from the moment I read it, but am just now finding time to review it. The imagery you've created here with your words is wonderful. I especially loved the use of the words "inky expanse", "flung", and "fireworks". What a perfect description of the vast universe! I was sorry to read that this got disqualified. I thought it was 100 times better than mine. It's really very well done. :)
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
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I loved this entry from the moment I read it, but am just now finding time to review it. The imagery you've created here with your words is wonderful. I especially loved the use of the words "inky expanse", "flung", and "fireworks". What a perfect description of the vast universe! I was sorry to read that this got disqualified. I thought it was 100 times better than mine. It's really very well done. :)
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
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Jenna, this a real tribute to my haiku, but to be fair yours was better. It would have won, even if I hadn't been disqualified. It was so creative and different - you had it all the way. Yet, I thank you so much for this exceptional.
Comment from Taffspride
Just had to check the entry that was disqualified, wondering how any-one could get mass to rhyme with expanse. They are totally off base.
Any-way, your haiku is good, and has every-thing it should have. Two interconnected concrete images, with a good satori.
Well done Val
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Just had to check the entry that was disqualified, wondering how any-one could get mass to rhyme with expanse. They are totally off base.
Any-way, your haiku is good, and has every-thing it should have. Two interconnected concrete images, with a good satori.
Well done Val
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Ann, this means the world to me, as I am so pissed off right now. Several other haijin felt the same way. I feel Tom needs to be more responsible, and return my entry fee. I usually don't get this upset, but the never even let me correct it before I was disqualified. Actually, I'm not that upset, but felt a need to vent. Thank you once again.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Mystery writer: I like the photo, they look like jewels in the black sky. So many shapes and sizes of the mass. Is there live on these planets? We see the fireworks
and light in the darkness. God knows these all by name since He created the Heavenlies...Isaiah 40 and Genesis 1. Great entry. flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Mystery writer: I like the photo, they look like jewels in the black sky. So many shapes and sizes of the mass. Is there live on these planets? We see the fireworks
and light in the darkness. God knows these all by name since He created the Heavenlies...Isaiah 40 and Genesis 1. Great entry. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the wonderful review.
