Seeking for Truth
A Fusion Sonnet17 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
I'm glad you were inspired by treischel to create a Fusion sonnet. I admired your compelling reflections and was particularly moved by "false priests poise their knives" and your repeat. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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I'm glad you were inspired by treischel to create a Fusion sonnet. I admired your compelling reflections and was particularly moved by "false priests poise their knives" and your repeat. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 02-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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Very many thanks, Joan. I appreciate your review. Tony
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I've never heard of this form, but I like it. Where did you learn of it?
These lines are so very true:
When men keep to the surface where breezes hold sway
filling their sails, enjoying each day
skimming the waves, with their eyes on the mast,
poison drains from their minds, that seeped from the past.
Well written, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
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I've never heard of this form, but I like it. Where did you learn of it?
These lines are so very true:
When men keep to the surface where breezes hold sway
filling their sails, enjoying each day
skimming the waves, with their eyes on the mast,
poison drains from their minds, that seeped from the past.
Well written, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 31-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
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Thanks, Debbie. Tom Reischel introduced me to the form. It's an interesting one to write and not so complex as the directions make it sound.
Comment from I am Cat
Well... this is certainly pessimistic!
'Seeking for truth, men delve in the past,
read words from dead scrolls, drown in green waste,
tear flesh from the gods, gnawing their bones. A bitter taste
taints underworld cups, with venom well laced.
Poison drains from their minds, that seeped from the past,
where dogma was found. Wearing robes of the night,
false priests poise their knives... to blight
the children we bear, blinding their sight. '
(lol)
(while this is certainly rhetorical)...
"How long must this last?
How long?" good men ask. '
(I've no idea... oh sorry... I wasn't supposed to answer that,was I?)
;)
'Seas can support and keep us afloat,
so why should we drown in wrecks cast upon rocks?
We may hold our course steady, avoiding the crash,
if we hold out our hands to those who are lost '
(ok... well, it's shaped like a quatrain, but it's not... so yeah... it's as free as you're going to get in that tie, right? ;) )
(yes, and I see that gradual volta emerging to the positive sway of aha! The sea can keep us afloat! ;)
'seeking for truth. Men delve in the past,
and buoyed up by learning, add wisdom to life,
unless mired in the depths of sectarian strife.
When men keep to the surface where breezes hold sway
filling their sails, enjoying each day
skimming the waves, with their eyes on the mast,
poison drains from their minds, that seeped from the past. '
(and your coda arrives just in time to conclude this fusion sonnet... ;)
well told... seems like a lot of work. phew!)
;)
But then, that's why your work is awesome, I suppose!
Well done, once again, Tony!
Cat
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
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Well... this is certainly pessimistic!
'Seeking for truth, men delve in the past,
read words from dead scrolls, drown in green waste,
tear flesh from the gods, gnawing their bones. A bitter taste
taints underworld cups, with venom well laced.
Poison drains from their minds, that seeped from the past,
where dogma was found. Wearing robes of the night,
false priests poise their knives... to blight
the children we bear, blinding their sight. '
(lol)
(while this is certainly rhetorical)...
"How long must this last?
How long?" good men ask. '
(I've no idea... oh sorry... I wasn't supposed to answer that,was I?)
;)
'Seas can support and keep us afloat,
so why should we drown in wrecks cast upon rocks?
We may hold our course steady, avoiding the crash,
if we hold out our hands to those who are lost '
(ok... well, it's shaped like a quatrain, but it's not... so yeah... it's as free as you're going to get in that tie, right? ;) )
(yes, and I see that gradual volta emerging to the positive sway of aha! The sea can keep us afloat! ;)
'seeking for truth. Men delve in the past,
and buoyed up by learning, add wisdom to life,
unless mired in the depths of sectarian strife.
When men keep to the surface where breezes hold sway
filling their sails, enjoying each day
skimming the waves, with their eyes on the mast,
poison drains from their minds, that seeped from the past. '
(and your coda arrives just in time to conclude this fusion sonnet... ;)
well told... seems like a lot of work. phew!)
;)
But then, that's why your work is awesome, I suppose!
Well done, once again, Tony!
Cat
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
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Thanks for following through on this in detail and checking up on me! It's quite an interesting form to write. Glad you enjoyed it. Tony
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello tfawcus,
I like your Fusion Sonnet~Seeking for Truth~I never read one like it. I like the mix, it is very interesting. Starts dark and frightening but gets lighter as it concludes. Good job!
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
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Hello tfawcus,
I like your Fusion Sonnet~Seeking for Truth~I never read one like it. I like the mix, it is very interesting. Starts dark and frightening but gets lighter as it concludes. Good job!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
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Thanks, GBR. Glad you enjoyed it. Tony
Comment from Nosha17
The search for knowledge will always persist and there is nothing wrong with that, but along the way mankind has invoked too much strife and created too many enemies. The solution is like you wrote in the last verse, keeping close to Nature and being steadfast. Excellent rhyming and imagery to convey your thoughts. Great symbolic illustration. Faye
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
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The search for knowledge will always persist and there is nothing wrong with that, but along the way mankind has invoked too much strife and created too many enemies. The solution is like you wrote in the last verse, keeping close to Nature and being steadfast. Excellent rhyming and imagery to convey your thoughts. Great symbolic illustration. Faye
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015
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Thanks, Faye. A rather distant cousin to the traditional sonnet, but in rhyme (mostly!). Glad you enjoyed it. Tony.
Comment from Treischel
Yes! You nailed it! I really like the full expression that can be achieved by this format and will likely write more. Love your nautical theme, and haunting theme of what's learned from the past can be bad or good. I read this with a great smile. It didn't take you long to write one, either. Bravo, my friend. Tell me, how did you line writing it?
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
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Yes! You nailed it! I really like the full expression that can be achieved by this format and will likely write more. Love your nautical theme, and haunting theme of what's learned from the past can be bad or good. I read this with a great smile. It didn't take you long to write one, either. Bravo, my friend. Tell me, how did you line writing it?
Comment Written 30-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
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Thanks for reviewing this one, Tom, and for our generous gift of six stars. I found it quite a challenge to conform, but easier than it sounded from the instructions. The 7-line envoi is a distinct bonus. I had someone suggest that the rhetorical question would be better placed at the end - and I rather agreed that it could work powerfully there - though it is a good device for introducing the pivotal free verse lines. I read several of Sonnet Mondal's but had some difficulty connecting with them. I'm now looking at the Shadow Sonnet - which has the classic sonnet form, but with the same word (or a homophone) at the end of each line. I'm not getting very far with it!
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Hmm, very interesting.
Comment from Just2Write
Thanks for the introduction to yet another poet, Sonnet Mondal and a new-to-me form of poetry. I've added the form to my little book of Poetry forms. I think this one is the most complicated of any that I have in there.
I'm a little confused in that meter is frequently not iambic, and line length is irregular, there are more stanzas than a Sonnet, and the volta is not consistent with an English or and Italian Sonnet, so I am struggling to see how it is a Sonnet at all. However, novice that I am, I will include it in my Sonnets section, and just accept that I'm in way over my head, poetically speaking.
The first four lines of your poem start with a stressed syllable. Not grasping what the rules of the Fusion Sonnet were, I probably spent about an hour looking them up on line. I hope I gained some understanding of it, although my head is still aching.
As always, I enjoy your skill at attacking a poetry form and conquering it.
The message I got out of it was 'why do we search for truths in the past, and then perpetuate the long dead hatreds and prejudices we find there.'
Why indeed?
Excellent write, Tony.
Rose.
I
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
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Thanks for the introduction to yet another poet, Sonnet Mondal and a new-to-me form of poetry. I've added the form to my little book of Poetry forms. I think this one is the most complicated of any that I have in there.
I'm a little confused in that meter is frequently not iambic, and line length is irregular, there are more stanzas than a Sonnet, and the volta is not consistent with an English or and Italian Sonnet, so I am struggling to see how it is a Sonnet at all. However, novice that I am, I will include it in my Sonnets section, and just accept that I'm in way over my head, poetically speaking.
The first four lines of your poem start with a stressed syllable. Not grasping what the rules of the Fusion Sonnet were, I probably spent about an hour looking them up on line. I hope I gained some understanding of it, although my head is still aching.
As always, I enjoy your skill at attacking a poetry form and conquering it.
The message I got out of it was 'why do we search for truths in the past, and then perpetuate the long dead hatreds and prejudices we find there.'
Why indeed?
Excellent write, Tony.
Rose.
I
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
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I rather agree with you, Rose - this is only a very distant cousin to the classic sonnet. Nonetheless, it is an interesting form to write, no matter what it is called! I like the way it swings from pessimism to optimism and found the 7-line envoi had good potential for striking a better balance between the two.
Comment from Pantygynt
This is a fascinating form. I reviewed treischel's "Cash" not so long ago. The extra length provided by the half sonnet allows for an argument or a qualification and it can end up with the classic thesis, antithesis, synthesis development that this to some extent follows.
The first section deals with man's search for truth in the past, ending with the idea that this has not been a successful search, asking the question:
"How long must this last?
How long?" good men ask.
The Answer is given somewhat obliquely in the free verse section couched in strong nautical imagery, concerned with the dangers at sea. There is an oblique reference here to the crashing rocks of the Argonaut legend and, I believe this is reflected in the figurehead in the photo. At a guess, judging by the ram's head device on her shield, the female warrior is Medea, who fell for Jason only to be betrayed by him later.
The final stanza, the half sonnet opens with a repeat of the opening line of the whole poem, reminding us of the original poem. The antithesis of the second stanza is revivevd in the nautical imagery that is continued here but with a subtle difference. The seas of this synthesis are calm and the winds fair, as this, the final quatrain shows:
When men keep to the surface where breezes hold sway
filling their sails, enjoying each day
skimming the waves, with their eyes on the mast,
poison drains from their minds, that seeped from the past.
This is a scholarly poem exceptionally well crafted and undoubtedly deserving of the six stars I am awarding it.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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This is a fascinating form. I reviewed treischel's "Cash" not so long ago. The extra length provided by the half sonnet allows for an argument or a qualification and it can end up with the classic thesis, antithesis, synthesis development that this to some extent follows.
The first section deals with man's search for truth in the past, ending with the idea that this has not been a successful search, asking the question:
"How long must this last?
How long?" good men ask.
The Answer is given somewhat obliquely in the free verse section couched in strong nautical imagery, concerned with the dangers at sea. There is an oblique reference here to the crashing rocks of the Argonaut legend and, I believe this is reflected in the figurehead in the photo. At a guess, judging by the ram's head device on her shield, the female warrior is Medea, who fell for Jason only to be betrayed by him later.
The final stanza, the half sonnet opens with a repeat of the opening line of the whole poem, reminding us of the original poem. The antithesis of the second stanza is revivevd in the nautical imagery that is continued here but with a subtle difference. The seas of this synthesis are calm and the winds fair, as this, the final quatrain shows:
When men keep to the surface where breezes hold sway
filling their sails, enjoying each day
skimming the waves, with their eyes on the mast,
poison drains from their minds, that seeped from the past.
This is a scholarly poem exceptionally well crafted and undoubtedly deserving of the six stars I am awarding it.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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Thanks, Jim, both for your detailed review and for the six stars. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from Laurie Keim
Hi Tony.
You don't make it easy. I've just spent the last fifteen minutes researching Sonnet Modal and his poems, so that I can review yours. You certainly like the challenge of new forms. You are a bit like Browning in that respect. I'll have a go at writing one this weekend.
With so much going on with form, it would be necessary I think to use continuing metaphors. Your poem has a Roman background. There is a going to sea, a banquet of "gnaring knowledge", even possible murder. These can be summed up as the wasteful pursuit of knowledge as dogma.
This is contrasted against the more optimistic extension of the "going to sea" metaphor that we keep each other afloat by holding to course by common values (holding hands).
" hold our course steady, avoiding the crash,
if we hold out our hands to those who are lost "
By the half sonnet we are sailing merrily because we have avoided the disease of modern church and state:
"unless mired in the depths of sectarian strife. " The cause for dogma and the cause against it.
I'm dizzy after such a review. It is a very demanding exercise. As I said, I'll write one and see how I feel after it.
Cheers,
Laurie
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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Hi Tony.
You don't make it easy. I've just spent the last fifteen minutes researching Sonnet Modal and his poems, so that I can review yours. You certainly like the challenge of new forms. You are a bit like Browning in that respect. I'll have a go at writing one this weekend.
With so much going on with form, it would be necessary I think to use continuing metaphors. Your poem has a Roman background. There is a going to sea, a banquet of "gnaring knowledge", even possible murder. These can be summed up as the wasteful pursuit of knowledge as dogma.
This is contrasted against the more optimistic extension of the "going to sea" metaphor that we keep each other afloat by holding to course by common values (holding hands).
" hold our course steady, avoiding the crash,
if we hold out our hands to those who are lost "
By the half sonnet we are sailing merrily because we have avoided the disease of modern church and state:
"unless mired in the depths of sectarian strife. " The cause for dogma and the cause against it.
I'm dizzy after such a review. It is a very demanding exercise. As I said, I'll write one and see how I feel after it.
Cheers,
Laurie
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015
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Thanks, Laurie,for your detailed review. I have just been rereading your most recent post and hope to find time to review it soon. There is so much in it - so many brilliant images to absorb. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from His Grayness
Only cause I'm outa sixes again Tony, but wow, between you and Treischel, I might learn something about poetry one of these days! This is really quite interesting...actually ponderous. I hope I can find some time soon to do some studying and try some of this wonderful stuff! Thanks for the brilliant write here. Vance
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Only cause I'm outa sixes again Tony, but wow, between you and Treischel, I might learn something about poetry one of these days! This is really quite interesting...actually ponderous. I hope I can find some time soon to do some studying and try some of this wonderful stuff! Thanks for the brilliant write here. Vance
Comment Written 28-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Vance. I've discovered one or two interesting variations through Tom's writing - and comprehensive author notes.
