Finding Daisy
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "Daisy's Rescue"Another Ess and Oz comic fantasy
4 total reviews
Comment from rmj09
I would have given you a six if I had one. The focus is the freeing of Daisy, gaining her trust. The storyline development Ess has gotten Daisy away from Whitmarsh when he crashes his car into the one she is driving. Whitmarsh approaches her and she takes one of her jemmys, he has her my the throat when she puts the jemmy in his eyes. He screams in pain as the ginger, capsicum and pepper attack his eyes.
She goes to the car to get Daisy knowing she has little time as lights are going on in the towns buildings and she can hear a vehicle drawing ever closer. It turns out to be Oz and Dot. Oz goes to the car to get Shades a good Samaritan helps him get Shades in the car. O informs him he is a first-aider and can get them to a hospital before an ambulance can arrive. Ess is walking Daisy to her house, but before Daisy leaves she removes the spell from Shades.
The hook will Daisy protect Ess?
The words used for the dialog shows the character of each person. The narration gives us the action the accident, the cars hitting, them trying to get away.
The lesson not all people are bad.
The suspense carries throughout, easing when we think they are getting away, grows when they have the accident and Ess gets caught by Whitmarsh.
The emotions felt anger with Whitmarsh, joy for Ess, Daisy, and Shades.
Keep on writing.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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I would have given you a six if I had one. The focus is the freeing of Daisy, gaining her trust. The storyline development Ess has gotten Daisy away from Whitmarsh when he crashes his car into the one she is driving. Whitmarsh approaches her and she takes one of her jemmys, he has her my the throat when she puts the jemmy in his eyes. He screams in pain as the ginger, capsicum and pepper attack his eyes.
She goes to the car to get Daisy knowing she has little time as lights are going on in the towns buildings and she can hear a vehicle drawing ever closer. It turns out to be Oz and Dot. Oz goes to the car to get Shades a good Samaritan helps him get Shades in the car. O informs him he is a first-aider and can get them to a hospital before an ambulance can arrive. Ess is walking Daisy to her house, but before Daisy leaves she removes the spell from Shades.
The hook will Daisy protect Ess?
The words used for the dialog shows the character of each person. The narration gives us the action the accident, the cars hitting, them trying to get away.
The lesson not all people are bad.
The suspense carries throughout, easing when we think they are getting away, grows when they have the accident and Ess gets caught by Whitmarsh.
The emotions felt anger with Whitmarsh, joy for Ess, Daisy, and Shades.
Keep on writing.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
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You're very kind, thank you
Comment from Adri7enne
"The van smashed into the back of the car." I like when I guess right!
LOL! Ess attacked him with a bag of spices. You're so inventive, snod.
"No, I think you're a calming influence," replied Ess..." LOL! Scare the crap out of Dot, uh?
"Every second counts, and IT'S BE AGES before the ambulance arrives." Not very clear here.
The image of Oz manacled to the bed with a young lady "in flagrante" just cracked me up. God, it's good to read someone with a sense of humour. Everyone is so damn gloomy on this site of late.
Poor Oz! Ess has a strange way of showing him her gratitude. He probably likes it that way.
Much enjoyed, snod. As always, your humour is the best comic relief on the site. Loved it!
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
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"The van smashed into the back of the car." I like when I guess right!
LOL! Ess attacked him with a bag of spices. You're so inventive, snod.
"No, I think you're a calming influence," replied Ess..." LOL! Scare the crap out of Dot, uh?
"Every second counts, and IT'S BE AGES before the ambulance arrives." Not very clear here.
The image of Oz manacled to the bed with a young lady "in flagrante" just cracked me up. God, it's good to read someone with a sense of humour. Everyone is so damn gloomy on this site of late.
Poor Oz! Ess has a strange way of showing him her gratitude. He probably likes it that way.
Much enjoyed, snod. As always, your humour is the best comic relief on the site. Loved it!
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
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You're very kind, thank you
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Interesting story that draws readers into the scene and allows them to much better experience all the sights and sounds unfolding around them. Well done.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Interesting story that draws readers into the scene and allows them to much better experience all the sights and sounds unfolding around them. Well done.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you. Glad you liked it
Comment from lancellot
Very interesting. I like The spunk you gave to Ess, and the reaction of Daisy is normal and to be expected. forgiveness isn't easy when pain is still fresh. Well done.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Very interesting. I like The spunk you gave to Ess, and the reaction of Daisy is normal and to be expected. forgiveness isn't easy when pain is still fresh. Well done.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thanks. yes, Ess is feisty
