Destiny's Angel
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Alvin"A fantasy novel set in modern day Baltimore
6 total reviews
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Rhonda. Beautiful work mate. I like the natural progression of the story and once again you have mastered the dialogue fabulously. That twist at the end is a great move and now maybe they can feel more secure about getting some help, let's hope so. Well done......
A couple of suggestions...
"but I have a feeling the nonsense will end when (I) get where(-where) it to Nick Collins."
"Yeah," Mia agreed, "and they (are) set on picking us off one at a time just like they did Leo and Sarah."
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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G'day Rhonda. Beautiful work mate. I like the natural progression of the story and once again you have mastered the dialogue fabulously. That twist at the end is a great move and now maybe they can feel more secure about getting some help, let's hope so. Well done......
A couple of suggestions...
"but I have a feeling the nonsense will end when (I) get where(-where) it to Nick Collins."
"Yeah," Mia agreed, "and they (are) set on picking us off one at a time just like they did Leo and Sarah."
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much for the brilliant review! I also appreciate you watching out for Spag. That is so important because it's easy to overlook the details when you are caught up in the story. Thank you much, Brother,
Rhonda
Comment from boxergirl
Nice continuation of your story line, Rhonda. Sarah is tended to and Candace wants to go find Leo. Alvin, a member of the serpents, offers to assist her but can he be trusted? I wonder....
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Nice continuation of your story line, Rhonda. Sarah is tended to and Candace wants to go find Leo. Alvin, a member of the serpents, offers to assist her but can he be trusted? I wonder....
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much, my friend for the wonderful review and for following the story. Alvin has some decisions ahead of him as he wrestles with some inner demons! Thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from MelB
"So, where do you think we should we start looking?" Shanice asked, changing the subject and easing the - So, where do you think we should start looking
Good chapter Rhonda. I'm not sure if Alvin can be trusted, but hopefully Cadence's intuition is correct.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015
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"So, where do you think we should we start looking?" Shanice asked, changing the subject and easing the - So, where do you think we should start looking
Good chapter Rhonda. I'm not sure if Alvin can be trusted, but hopefully Cadence's intuition is correct.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015
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Maybe not in the beginning, anyway. He has some choices to make...
Thanks for the review!
Rhonda
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You're welcome:)
Comment from royowen
The para medics cart off Sarah to recover from her ordeal, saying she'll be fine, Cadence talks.about the ridiculous package that C-Daddy wants her to deliver. A really progressive episode this week Rhonda. The man that rescued them before by turning off the fountain is somebody called Alvin, they decide to trust him and let them lead them to Leo. He is a member of the serpents, but an infiltrator, well done, Rhonda great episode, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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The para medics cart off Sarah to recover from her ordeal, saying she'll be fine, Cadence talks.about the ridiculous package that C-Daddy wants her to deliver. A really progressive episode this week Rhonda. The man that rescued them before by turning off the fountain is somebody called Alvin, they decide to trust him and let them lead them to Leo. He is a member of the serpents, but an infiltrator, well done, Rhonda great episode, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much, Roy, for the careful review! I'm trying to move it along, but keep distracting myself with poetry. The thing is, it helps to understand poetry, to learn to add a touch of it to the stories. Thanks for helping me with that,
Rhonda
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I certainly does Rhonda
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine chapter, Rhonda, I hope this Alvin can be trusted. Judging by what has already happened, I'd have trust issues!
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Another fine chapter, Rhonda, I hope this Alvin can be trusted. Judging by what has already happened, I'd have trust issues!
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Yeah, well, he's a sort of good guy/bad guy for a bit before he chooses sides. Thanks for reviewing!
BTW, if you see mistakes, it won't hurt my feelings. I will probably publish it one day.
Rhonda
Comment from Shirley McLain
A good chapter to move the story forward. It read well and you kept it active and interesting to the last word. Great job. Shirley
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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A good chapter to move the story forward. It read well and you kept it active and interesting to the last word. Great job. Shirley
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Thank you Shirley for reading and reviewing. It always helps to get feedback. Don't be afraid to tell me if there are mistakes, thanks,
Rhonda
