Reviews from

When Blood Collides

Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "A Forgotten Memory?"
A family's love is tested.

24 total reviews 
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This story was beautiful but also so very sad. I can never understand why families must fight. The poem was wonderful as is the video. Excellent piece of work. Spelling was correct and the story flowed nicely. Easy to read and understand. Good work.

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 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 21-Jul-2015
    Thanks, pretty, for popping by. You sound like an only child. :-)
    No sibling rivalry? You don't know what you missed.:-(
reply by prettybluebirds on 22-Jul-2015
    No I'm not an only child; I come from a family of 12. My family may be unusual in that we do not fight among ourselves. It shocks me to hear of families fighting.
Comment from Debbie Noland
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This one clutches at me with (1) the poignant scene where your mom, very ill herself, comforts you and (2) your joint recitation of the Tennyson elegy. I don't know if your mom pulls out of this or not, but, with the musical selection, the priest scene, and the doctor's request to speak to you, you have certainly foreshadowed her death if she does not.

Dripping with irony here is the gravity of your mom's life- and- death condition against the unbelievable self-centeredness of your aunt and sister. You deliver the episode powerfully, and, once again, leave the reader hanging on this very familiar cliff.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
    What a marvelous review, Debbie. Thank you so much for the sixer. I never thought about the irony. Good point. It gets worse in the next episode. Thanks for pointing out the parts you liked. The doctor's remark stuns me.
Comment from m.cleveland
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I almost didn't want to read this because death has been too entwined with my life lately. But there is a Barbara and a Dee in our family too, and I found I couldn't stop. It had me captivated, didn't want it to end. Wished I could read the rest of the story. Very well written. I found one little word missing - just a typo. The 'comforting' scene at the end made me so much miss my mother.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
    I'm sorry that you are going through a rough time now. Strange how death brings out the worst in everyone. I'm flattered that you didn't want it to end and glad that it touched you emotionally. That's what I hope to do. Thank you so much for the exceptional rating.
Comment from Donya Quijote
Excellent
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Nice sequencing of events showing the passage of time.

I think you captured your mother's tone in the dialogue.

Lots of foreshadowing in episode: the request for a pastor, the desperate phone call, and the poem. A bad moon is rising and I am not going to like it much when it reaches full phase.

Speaking of that poem. It's one of my favorite. Just yesterday as I was sorting out a bunch of school papers and other files, I found my original xerox copy from high school. I haven't been able to part with it... Whenever that piece of paper turns up I can't but read it. I think I copied many times into notebooks through the years. I don't know why. The paper is quite dogeared now. Maybe I should get rid of it and type into a document on my computer...


This line stood out:

Dee could be as charming as she was deceitful. >A bit snarky in tone, but seemly an apropos description of your aunt that fits the way you have portrayed her. Good one...

Nicely done chapter...

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 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
    Thank you for all the compliments. I pretty much remember Mom's exact words. Interesting that Tennyson's poem is one of your favorites. It never did anything for me. I prefer the works of Dickenson and Frost.
reply by Donya Quijote on 20-Jul-2015
    Love Dickinson and a lot of Frost. Love the one about a snowy wood. Wrote a story about it, an event that happened when I was in the Navy and stationed in Maine. It's still in my portfolio... It's got Frost in the title. I had British English my senior year in high school, so I was into everything British, especially the Arthurian legend. Reading Mallory gave me a headache. I probably wrote an essay on it and got a good grade so I like the poem. Anyway, I like probably because I feel I understand it and can relate to it. Tennyson is way too complicated for me in general. Carl Sandburg isn't bad either. Poe sucks as a poet, except for the Raven (which reads like a narrative to me) and The Bells... The rest of it seems like one long suicide note...
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
    LOL on your comment about Poe.
reply by Donya Quijote on 20-Jul-2015
    It's called Remembering Frost. Probably sucks like most of my musings. Check it out if don't mind getting your digital red pen out and butchering it to smithereens, if you feel up to it. It won't be hard to find as I have disabled most of my postings... Getting ready to send some haiku, senryu, and tanka off. I thought I'd reduce my digital footprints as much as possible to improve my chances. No one reads the old stuff anyway. I don't care about the rankings. Don't post often enough nor high enough for anyone to care. And those few that do peruse the portfolio don't leave anything of note behind, so I decided to cut my losses, reduce the FS stress, etc...
reply by Donya Quijote on 20-Jul-2015
    Do you feel the same about Poe's poetry? Some of my students are in to him big time. They all wear black too and have anti-social behaviors.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
    I love the raven because of the psychology behind questions that it explores. Annabelle Lee is insipid, but bells has a lunatic sound that makes it interesting. I can see the appeal for teens.