Comment from Walu Feral

Exceptional

G'day Rhonda. Great work once again on this chapter mate. Old C-Daddy has a thing about doctors huh? LOL. I'm glad they found Sarah and luckily she doesn't seem in too bad shape, which is a relief. At last I will soon find out what is in that darn package, the suspense is killing me. If I were cadence I'd be asking for double the donation amount after all sh's been through LOL. Well done my friend, spag free. Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015

Wow, no Spag!!! Thanks so much for the generous review. You're the best,
Rhonda

Comment from MsPetra

Excellent

I enjoyed this read. I felt as if I was right there in the action. You did a great job as far as maintaining a good balance of exposition, narration and dramatization are concerned.
The only thing I had an issue with is dialogue in one spot. I think your choice of wording is a little awkward where you wrote "I managed to look around a bit and secret the package away before they returned." Secret the package away. I would put "I managed to hide the package" or something along those lines. It's simple that way. "Secret the package away" sounds a little clunky.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015

I will fix it, that does sound better, thanks,
Rhonda

Comment from Clover77

Excellent

Such a beautiful image to go along with such a beautiful prose. Well done my dear fellow author, and best of wishes on future work
~Julia

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2015

Thank you, Julia, you are so sweet!

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

Very interesting story and I enjoyed the read. You kept it active and moving forward. Your characters are strong and the dialogue is excellent. I hope to read more. Shirley

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2015

Thank you, Shirley. I am so glad that you took the time to read the story and review!
Rhonda

Comment from MelB

Excellent

like I was a pi�?�±ata." - the site gremlin strikes
All seems to be well for the moment. This should be an interesting showdown between C-Daddy and the twins. He's 0 for 2 so far, but maybe the third time is the ticket. Look forward to the next one Rhonda.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2015

Thank you so much. You won't see him again for awhile, but he will be back stronger later. Thanks for pointing out the gremlin! I will fix it,
Rhonda

Comment from boxergirl

Excellent

Good job, Rhonda, with the continuation of you story line. Cdaddy and Sarah are rescued and candace gets the donation for her group. Cdaddy wants to stay behind and deal with the twins and their sister. I am anxious to see where we go next. 8-)

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2015

Thanks so much. She doesn't have the donation yet, just the envelope Nick Collins wanted. She has a journey ahead of her to his store. Thanks for following and for your comments,
Rhonda

Comment from Chrissy710

Excellent

Ok so where too now, another good chapter in this suspenseful story line. Do you write these chapters and then post or is it already written the whole story? These posts are a good way to keep the reader interested. Awaiting next chapter. A good write Cheers Christine

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015

I have the book written, but am revising as I post it. Thanks so much for keeping up with it. I always appreciate your reviews and comments, Christine!
Rhonda

reply by Chrissy710 on 17-Jul-2015

Thank Rhonda

Comment from Mike Stevens

Excellent

A fine continuation, Rhonda, and now that we know C-Daddy isn't a total dick, I wonder what he is planning? Oh well, I'll just wait here until the next thrilling chapter, I guess!

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015

He will disappear for awhile, but he is definitely working on fixing the situation. However, Cadence and the kids are about to go on quite a journey.

Thanks for keeping up and being so encouraging!
Rhonda

Comment from Lesley Collier

Excellent

An interesting story involving the capture and release of a daughter,Sarah, and her father C-Daddy who are unexpectantly caught up in a plot to obstruct money for the benefit of schoolchildren and are tied with C-Daddy being beaten in order for the Serpants to get information and bring the school board members to their rescue. C-Daddy discovers an important package while locked in the closet and insists the girls not only escape at once but take the package to a secret place. The girls are reluctant to leave him insisting he requires medical attention and not strong enough to take on his attackers but he reasons with them that his weakness will be a great guise to catch them in their mistakes of underestimating him and his strength. Well written with an intricate plot!

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015

Thank you so much for your very comprehensive and supportive review! Sarah is a Student Council officer, and not C-Daddy's daughter, but you were pretty close on your summary. C-Daddy is a homeless guy who was trying to deliver a package to the same donor that had promised money for the donation. Of course, not all is as it seems!
Thank you so much. You have really encouraged me,
Rhonda

Comment from ellie6

Excellent

I get the feeling I should have been in at the start of this story. There is so much going on. At least sarah and C Daddy were rescued, but what lies in store for them?

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2015

You are welcome to read the previous chapters, but I can summarize: Cadence is a teacher in inner city Baltimore. She is also the student council sponsor and was offered $500,000 as as donation for a toy drive. All she had to do was meet with Nick Collins, a store owner in Ellicott City, Md. On her way there, there was a horrible snow storm and she tripped over a homeless man, C-Daddy who had been beat up for a package he was trying to deliver to the same man Cadence was supposed to meet. By the time she helped C-Daddy, she missed her meeting.
The next day Nick rescheduled with her, but she missed him again, because Nick had gone to the homeless shelter to check on C-Daddy. He left a note to meet him at the shelter. When she got there, both men weren't there, and she drove around until she found the old man.
They were then chased by gun wielding men in a blue sedan, but were able to shake them off. Cadence and the Student Council offers decided to drop the whole donation thing, but one of their members, Sarah, was kidnapped by members of the Serpents organization of which some mysterious twins and their evil sister were a big part.
They ended up at the local mall where they confronted a woman, Eris, in a fountain, who charmed one of the officers, Leo, but the spell was broken when an unkempt man unplugged the fountain.
The chase proceeded to the mall toy store where C-Daddy was found hanging by his hands from an upper story, and Sarah tied to a chair. An explosion causes the twins to become disoriented and the unkempt man cut C-Daddy loose. The story picks up from there.

Hope that helps!
Rhonda

Oh, and thanks for the review!