A New Beginning
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Trapped Part Two"The girls leave their chat line days behind.
21 total reviews
Comment from wordsfromsue
Samantha wondered if this could this be another means of escape (omit 2nd 'this')
Holy crap, the tension and alternating scenes was movie worthy! I felt on the edge of my seat.
I finally am taking time to have a glass of wine as I review, maybe that gave the scene the added edge of suspense!
Terrific set up for the next chapter and 'will she or won't she be able to save Igor'?
Solid six!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
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Samantha wondered if this could this be another means of escape (omit 2nd 'this')
Holy crap, the tension and alternating scenes was movie worthy! I felt on the edge of my seat.
I finally am taking time to have a glass of wine as I review, maybe that gave the scene the added edge of suspense!
Terrific set up for the next chapter and 'will she or won't she be able to save Igor'?
Solid six!
Comment Written 19-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2015
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Well spotted, Sue. As your might have noticed, it was corrected in the next chapter when I used that paragraph for the previous chapter notes, but I forgot to correct the original. Never mind, the fact you enjoyed it is music to my ears, and the very complimentary six is greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Alexis xxx
Comment from Annette Gulliver
I hope Igor can manage to remove the fan blades before he freezes to death. Maybe Samantha will find him and somehow alert Laura to rescue him. Lots of tension and suspense here, Alexis. I'm feeling the chill. Re your notes - I don't know if you have Health and Safety inspectors in the UK, but they would soon close a place down if there was a safety risk to workers here.
Annette
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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I hope Igor can manage to remove the fan blades before he freezes to death. Maybe Samantha will find him and somehow alert Laura to rescue him. Lots of tension and suspense here, Alexis. I'm feeling the chill. Re your notes - I don't know if you have Health and Safety inspectors in the UK, but they would soon close a place down if there was a safety risk to workers here.
Annette
Comment Written 18-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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I think walk-in freezers have to have an inside handle but walk-in chillers are okay. The one we had in our 24 bedroom hotel was inspected every year and was passed, and I believe it's still in use with the new owners. I got locked in it once, but it didn't take long for me to be heard because the walls weren't that thick. I'll still never forget it though! Yes, Samantha finds him, and the result of that is in Part Three, posted today. I hope you enjoy it! Alexis xxx
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That must have been scary when you were locked in. Lucky you got out.
Comment from Clover77
The image that accompanies this prose is beautiful. And the writing itself is astonishing. Best of wishes on future works
~Julia
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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The image that accompanies this prose is beautiful. And the writing itself is astonishing. Best of wishes on future works
~Julia
Comment Written 18-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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It is, isn't it. I was delighted when I found it on Fan Art because it fitted my 'ghostly' chapters perfectly. Thank you so much for your review. Part Three has just been posted. Alexis xxx
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Alexis. Fantastic again mate. I can sense what is coming I think, although I am usually pretty lousy at reading the play. Hopefully she won't get lost out there. Next chapter please, I want to find out what happens, I'm desperate, don't make me beg! LOL. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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G'day Alexis. Fantastic again mate. I can sense what is coming I think, although I am usually pretty lousy at reading the play. Hopefully she won't get lost out there. Next chapter please, I want to find out what happens, I'm desperate, don't make me beg! LOL. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 17-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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Lol, no begging necessary cause I've just posted it. I hope you it enjoy it! Alexis xxx
Comment from cercie
It had taken fifteen minutes, but Igor had at last managed to remove the grill that covered the vent shaft for the fan.
I was routing for him all the way. I knew he would have to find a way. This is such a great read and I am truly hooked
Chris
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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It had taken fifteen minutes, but Igor had at last managed to remove the grill that covered the vent shaft for the fan.
I was routing for him all the way. I knew he would have to find a way. This is such a great read and I am truly hooked
Chris
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Chris. These three chapters took longer than usual to write because I had to tie up the three characters into one situation. I hope you enjoy part three if you get a chance to read it. Alexis xxx
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Alex I will find time. Wouldn't miss it
Comment from Cindy Warren
I can't wait to see how Samantha will rescue Igor. Will she be able to get him out, or will her ability to play with electricity shut off the freezer? Poor Igor would be stuck till morning, and all the meat would spoil. Hope she can make enough noise that someone will find him!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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I can't wait to see how Samantha will rescue Igor. Will she be able to get him out, or will her ability to play with electricity shut off the freezer? Poor Igor would be stuck till morning, and all the meat would spoil. Hope she can make enough noise that someone will find him!
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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I considered getting her to turn off the chiller, but that would mean the food might go off, and Karen has a big birthday party to cook for the next day. I hope you approve of the alternative posted today! Alexis xxx
Comment from Curly Girly
I hope Igor is going to survive this ordeal. I was a amazed to read your footnotes. I would have thought these chillers would have been banned by now, or new handles fitted. Amazing! Surely there are still deaths in them every year.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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I hope Igor is going to survive this ordeal. I was a amazed to read your footnotes. I would have thought these chillers would have been banned by now, or new handles fitted. Amazing! Surely there are still deaths in them every year.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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I think there's very few left, but there's still one at the hotel my husband and I had, and it's still in use, so I can only assume health and safety haven't sussed it out. A walk in chiller isn't so bad because the temperature is above freezing, but a walk-in freezer would be a definite death trap. It took me two days to write the chapter I posted today, but I got there in the end! Alexis xxx
Comment from Jay Squires
Alexis! This is, in terms of suspense, one of the tensest chapters you've written. Where's a six when I need one! Most of it came from the attention to details with Igor in the chiller. Obviously, this chapter wasn't written on the cuff. A lot of thoughtful planning went into it, right up to what I believe is the preparatory work of having Samantha floating through Laura's window at about the time Igor is removing the fan.
the hairs on his arms had already arched over the goose bumps on his skin in an attempt to trap his body heat. [brilliant concreteness in your observation]
As she watched Laura sleeping, [I think I would add another space between paragraphs for a scene change.
You have another one before the last paragraph that I feel would be an improvement.
Just great!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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Alexis! This is, in terms of suspense, one of the tensest chapters you've written. Where's a six when I need one! Most of it came from the attention to details with Igor in the chiller. Obviously, this chapter wasn't written on the cuff. A lot of thoughtful planning went into it, right up to what I believe is the preparatory work of having Samantha floating through Laura's window at about the time Igor is removing the fan.
the hairs on his arms had already arched over the goose bumps on his skin in an attempt to trap his body heat. [brilliant concreteness in your observation]
As she watched Laura sleeping, [I think I would add another space between paragraphs for a scene change.
You have another one before the last paragraph that I feel would be an improvement.
Just great!
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Jay. Great advice as always. The next chapter took so long to write I nearly gave up! Alexis xxx
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Oh, good. Sam will hear Igor's cry for help. But what can a ghost do? Probably get inside Laura, right? Then direct Laura to the kitchen? Guess we'll see. This is a fun scene. Well, not for Igor maybe. LOL!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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Oh, good. Sam will hear Igor's cry for help. But what can a ghost do? Probably get inside Laura, right? Then direct Laura to the kitchen? Guess we'll see. This is a fun scene. Well, not for Igor maybe. LOL!
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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That was going to be the plan, but I changed my mind. If only life were that easy to rewrite! I hope you enjoy today's offerings. I don't think I've ever taken so long to write one chapter! Alexis xxx
Comment from barkingdog
I hated leaving Igor in the chiller, but Samantha's floating around and maybe she can do something.
I'm wondering if Andrew is around somewhere, and will show up and assure Samantha that he's not going to take her to Hell. Poor Samantha is doing everything that she can to avoid him. It's interesting that she thinks Laura is her protector since the voice and light went away when Laura retrieved the cell phone.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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I hated leaving Igor in the chiller, but Samantha's floating around and maybe she can do something.
I'm wondering if Andrew is around somewhere, and will show up and assure Samantha that he's not going to take her to Hell. Poor Samantha is doing everything that she can to avoid him. It's interesting that she thinks Laura is her protector since the voice and light went away when Laura retrieved the cell phone.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2015
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The question is, is Andrew dead or alive? Only time will tell! Part Three posted today - I hope you enjoy it. Alexis xxx
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Why did I assume he was dead? Whoops.
