Cycle
Ask a Question Contest60 total reviews
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements beautifully. Like me you covered yourself well in questions throughout. The construction is impeccable and your questions were those that should be asked by all of us if we are to ever wipe away the tears of abuse and terror. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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This meets the contest requirements beautifully. Like me you covered yourself well in questions throughout. The construction is impeccable and your questions were those that should be asked by all of us if we are to ever wipe away the tears of abuse and terror. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thank you - I am very much afraid that this problem will never be eliminated. However, there are strategies we can put in place to reduce its incidence and help victims.
Steve
Comment from Dean Kuch
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, right?
I think the way in which you've written this shouldn't be a problem as it pertains to the contest rules, Steve. If there are any questions, it will be about your very last stanza. You end it with an ellipses, making more of an observation than asking a question.
Still, and regardless of that, it's a very well written piece. The rhyming and cadence is very smooth when read aloud. The context of the poem itself is frightening.
Best of luck with this one!
~Dean
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, right?
I think the way in which you've written this shouldn't be a problem as it pertains to the contest rules, Steve. If there are any questions, it will be about your very last stanza. You end it with an ellipses, making more of an observation than asking a question.
Still, and regardless of that, it's a very well written piece. The rhyming and cadence is very smooth when read aloud. The context of the poem itself is frightening.
Best of luck with this one!
~Dean
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Dean!
Steve
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Anytime. :)
Comment from Nosha17
It is not often considered why people do these things, what brings them to commit such evil deeds, but it is important to consider. Good to highlight these horrific problems and as you wrote can continue down the line to next generation. Excellent choice of questions and words and rhyming. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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It is not often considered why people do these things, what brings them to commit such evil deeds, but it is important to consider. Good to highlight these horrific problems and as you wrote can continue down the line to next generation. Excellent choice of questions and words and rhyming. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, faye. It seems obvious to me that people brought up with violence are more likely to use it in their turn - strategies should focus on ways to break this cycle.
Steve
Comment from nancy_e_davis
We had the reverse happen in our family. Son kicking father and breaking bones. Senior abuse. What evil monster does dwell in the hearts of men to do such damage on any living thing?
This is a very well done poem Steve. You have a very good chance of winning with this. :<) Nancy
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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We had the reverse happen in our family. Son kicking father and breaking bones. Senior abuse. What evil monster does dwell in the hearts of men to do such damage on any living thing?
This is a very well done poem Steve. You have a very good chance of winning with this. :<) Nancy
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Nancy. It is almost unimaginable to the average person that someone could deliberately inflict so much pain.
Steve
Comment from ellie6
A bleak little poem, but with more than a ring of truth about it. there is no answer to some of these questions, except to say that evil perpetuates itself.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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A bleak little poem, but with more than a ring of truth about it. there is no answer to some of these questions, except to say that evil perpetuates itself.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Ellie.
You are right, but we can still try to set up strategies to break this cycle.
Steve
Comment from lancellot
These are questions without an answer and with many answers and none them are enough for us to understand. I like your take on the prompt. Do more than needed. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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These are questions without an answer and with many answers and none them are enough for us to understand. I like your take on the prompt. Do more than needed. Nicely done.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Clover77
You wrote this well. Wonderful job Kiwisteveh. You provoked the reader very well. I ope you have amazing future writings. Well done.
~Julia
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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You wrote this well. Wonderful job Kiwisteveh. You provoked the reader very well. I ope you have amazing future writings. Well done.
~Julia
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Sasha
This is a superb entry for this contest. AS far as I can see you have adhered to the rules and should do well in this contest. You send a strong message with this one. I wish you all the best in this contest.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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This is a superb entry for this contest. AS far as I can see you have adhered to the rules and should do well in this contest. You send a strong message with this one. I wish you all the best in this contest.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thanks, Sasha.
Steve
Comment from hannahorion
As a contest poem it occurs to me that this could very well have been written in one sitting. The whole poem is its own inspiration as the question is raised and raised again regarding child abuse and the cycle of darkness that causes the abused child to grow up to become an abuser them self "The son becomes the father; frightened screams delight the tortured monster in his head". This is a very touchy and difficult subject to attempt and the author has conquered it well with descriptive verse and well placed poetic devices. The reader is enthralled by the horror of the intent described by the act of child abuse that they are unable to stop reading. The reader is left feeling a bit stunned I think. Well done my congratulations to you.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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As a contest poem it occurs to me that this could very well have been written in one sitting. The whole poem is its own inspiration as the question is raised and raised again regarding child abuse and the cycle of darkness that causes the abused child to grow up to become an abuser them self "The son becomes the father; frightened screams delight the tortured monster in his head". This is a very touchy and difficult subject to attempt and the author has conquered it well with descriptive verse and well placed poetic devices. The reader is enthralled by the horror of the intent described by the act of child abuse that they are unable to stop reading. The reader is left feeling a bit stunned I think. Well done my congratulations to you.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the thoughtful review. You are right, it is not an easy subject to write about and yet I was prompted to compose this by some particularly abhorrent incidents currently in the news here.
Steve
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It was my pleasure.
Comment from tfawcus
There are many poems on the site about child abuse and the cycle it creates - sadly in some cases written by people who have suffered from it. Your questions are pertinent and echo the crie de coeur - Why me? What have I done to deserve this treatment? A powerful statement, neither sentimental nor maudlin.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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There are many poems on the site about child abuse and the cycle it creates - sadly in some cases written by people who have suffered from it. Your questions are pertinent and echo the crie de coeur - Why me? What have I done to deserve this treatment? A powerful statement, neither sentimental nor maudlin.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Tony. You are right, there seem to be a number of poems on this topic and it is distressing to think that these people have suffered such torment. I am fortunate enough never to have had such an experience and like most of us find it almost unimaginable that one human being can inflict such cruelty on another.
Steve
