Shepherd
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Of Righteousness"poems inspired by Psalm 23
28 total reviews
Comment from dmt1967
This is a well written poem and I really liked the end. 'Of righteousness and charity, such tender mercies come to be.' It made the poem fade away and not stop abruptly. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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This is a well written poem and I really liked the end. 'Of righteousness and charity, such tender mercies come to be.' It made the poem fade away and not stop abruptly. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the encouraging review. I appreciate the comment about the line you liked and how it made the poem end on a softer note. Thank you.
Comment from cmowen87
I love your flow and rhyme it literally glides the reader down the page. Your artwork adds to the depth of the work without pulling attention away from the beautiful words that are so memorizing. Great job
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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I love your flow and rhyme it literally glides the reader down the page. Your artwork adds to the depth of the work without pulling attention away from the beautiful words that are so memorizing. Great job
Comment Written 05-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the excellent review. I appreciate you mentioning the presentation, including the artwork and the words. I am pleased that you liked it. Thank you for the encouragement. Debi
Comment from krys123
Debi;
-"...such tender mercies we can see." No I read this line at least four times and I rewrote it just this way, a slight tendency And small change That is still relevant, but it just seems to read smoother for some reason to me. Try it out and read it. Is several times and see how it sounds to you: "...such tender mercies can we see." ????
-I loved your rhythmic meter of iambic tetrameter because it made the reading fluid, clear and easy and was done exceptionally well. Even the cadence, tempo and timing were very helpful throughout this writing.
-The rhyming of course was perfect and each of the rhyming words were contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the rhythm even more smooth to read.
-You handled the spirituality of this palm in a very delicate and gentle way. Not suggesting any forceful expectations from the reader. This takes a special talent without making it sound like you're preaching.
-Thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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Debi;
-"...such tender mercies we can see." No I read this line at least four times and I rewrote it just this way, a slight tendency And small change That is still relevant, but it just seems to read smoother for some reason to me. Try it out and read it. Is several times and see how it sounds to you: "...such tender mercies can we see." ????
-I loved your rhythmic meter of iambic tetrameter because it made the reading fluid, clear and easy and was done exceptionally well. Even the cadence, tempo and timing were very helpful throughout this writing.
-The rhyming of course was perfect and each of the rhyming words were contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the rhythm even more smooth to read.
-You handled the spirituality of this palm in a very delicate and gentle way. Not suggesting any forceful expectations from the reader. This takes a special talent without making it sound like you're preaching.
-Thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex
Comment Written 05-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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Hi Alex,
thank you for the great review and the suggestion. I hate splitting the verb so I'll play with it a little more and see what I can come up with. I gather the meter felt off to you so that is why you suggest the change. I admit with a string of single words in iambic meter it is sometime hard for me to tell where the stress is. I appreciate you helping me to improve.
Debi
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Debi; I'm far from being an expert on iambic writing, but I just thought it would sound better. At least it did for me. You always sincerely welcome, Debi. I sincerely want to thank you because you entertain me with your writing.
Alex
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Thank you, Alex.
I am considering changing it to the following. Tell me what you think?
What tender mercies can we see?
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Hi Alex,
After reading the line about a billion times I decided you were right that it seemed a little off. I have changed it to now read
Such tender mercies come to be.
Thank you for the insight!
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That sounds terrific and I know how feels to keep reading it and reading it with so much frustration and then finally coming to an understanding. You are so sincerely welcome.
Alex
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That sounds perfect and terrific.
Alex
Comment from DreamtwithClarity
A good read full of majestic tellings of his mercy. A good story of his mysteries and showing the fullness and glory...
Thanks for putting this wondrous piece together.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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A good read full of majestic tellings of his mercy. A good story of his mysteries and showing the fullness and glory...
Thanks for putting this wondrous piece together.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the excellent review. I appreciate you insights on the topic too. Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from country ranch writer
a little kindness goes a long way by putting yourself out there to lend a helping hand to some one who needs it a job well done
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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a little kindness goes a long way by putting yourself out there to lend a helping hand to some one who needs it a job well done
Comment Written 05-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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Wow! Thank you so much for the shiny six stars, country ranch writer! I appreciate your insights on the topic as well. A little kindness truely does go a long way.
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yepper
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Debi...
_ A great read with super impact.
_ Nice choice of artwork as well.
_ If there were more righteousness and charity in the world, goodness, what a better world all around.
_ Inspiring write, my friend.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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Hi, Debi...
_ A great read with super impact.
_ Nice choice of artwork as well.
_ If there were more righteousness and charity in the world, goodness, what a better world all around.
_ Inspiring write, my friend.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 05-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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Hi Jax,
I totally agree that the world would be a better place if there were more righteousness and charity. We can just add our little bit and hope to make a difference.
Thank you for a great review. I am pleased you found it inspiring.
Debi
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was a strong poem. It easily grabbed my interest. Your faith comes through with great ease. And it flowed beautifully. Well done!
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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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I thought this was a strong poem. It easily grabbed my interest. Your faith comes through with great ease. And it flowed beautifully. Well done!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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Thank you for the encouraging review! I am pleased the poem grabbed your interest. Thank you for stopping by to read and review.
Comment from lauriesummer
This is a strong piece of writing. It conveys the author's spiritual beliefs without being preachy. The content was served well, I think, by the structure of this poem. "Then we can come to understand
the change of heart He'd have us know " is a beautiful line, and feels like it communicates the essence of what the author wants to say.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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This is a strong piece of writing. It conveys the author's spiritual beliefs without being preachy. The content was served well, I think, by the structure of this poem. "Then we can come to understand
the change of heart He'd have us know " is a beautiful line, and feels like it communicates the essence of what the author wants to say.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2015
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Thank you for a very encouraging review. I especially like that it did not come across preachy. I appreciate you pointing out your favorite line too so that I know what worked. Thank you for dropping by to read and review.
