In dappled shadows...
Understanding depression.96 total reviews
Comment from rmj09
The focus of this poem is the minds travel through depression and it's hope. The storyline development the sty called his life, self-conception depressed; fear; poisoned; sickness mocks and taunts. As a whirlpool tossed and turned, looking for warmth in a warm pool. Knowing in the darkest darkness God is there he will not leave you alone nor desert. But in this sick stay you must call upon your faith to be restored and have the fear leave. Then without fear face the night.
The subject is relevant to the writer and expresses the truth about the subject.
It deals with the subject of depression which is a chemical imbalance, but in many a lack of faith in God and themselves. With faith in God and all he has and can do, gives faith and strength to oneself. With the help of the right homeopathic medicine the chemical imbalance can be controlled.
The emotion I felt something is wrong, lack of faith. A sense of looking for help out of the sty. Looking forward in life through faith.
The rhythm is as a fist pushing through bringing the reader to the next word with a punch. Making each word important.
The layout gives a natural pause and the reader time to reflect on the words just read.
Keep on reading.
Roy, this is a deep dark subject with simple answers that are left unanswered by lack of faith. Walk in the shadow of our Lord for there the rainbow is found. *J* Rita
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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The focus of this poem is the minds travel through depression and it's hope. The storyline development the sty called his life, self-conception depressed; fear; poisoned; sickness mocks and taunts. As a whirlpool tossed and turned, looking for warmth in a warm pool. Knowing in the darkest darkness God is there he will not leave you alone nor desert. But in this sick stay you must call upon your faith to be restored and have the fear leave. Then without fear face the night.
The subject is relevant to the writer and expresses the truth about the subject.
It deals with the subject of depression which is a chemical imbalance, but in many a lack of faith in God and themselves. With faith in God and all he has and can do, gives faith and strength to oneself. With the help of the right homeopathic medicine the chemical imbalance can be controlled.
The emotion I felt something is wrong, lack of faith. A sense of looking for help out of the sty. Looking forward in life through faith.
The rhythm is as a fist pushing through bringing the reader to the next word with a punch. Making each word important.
The layout gives a natural pause and the reader time to reflect on the words just read.
Keep on reading.
Roy, this is a deep dark subject with simple answers that are left unanswered by lack of faith. Walk in the shadow of our Lord for there the rainbow is found. *J* Rita
Comment Written 04-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Thanks dear sister, for this comprehensive, searching review and insightful comments, wonderful words, blessings, Roy.
Comment from Loyd C. Taylor, Sr
Hello poet friend Roy. I thought you captured the depressed and low feeling of the condition. You are correct, many are involved in this sad situation.
I thought your poem was spiritually helpful. Loyd
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Hello poet friend Roy. I thought you captured the depressed and low feeling of the condition. You are correct, many are involved in this sad situation.
I thought your poem was spiritually helpful. Loyd
Comment Written 04-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much for this insightful, encouraging and succinct review, Loyd, blessings, Roy.
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My pleasure, Loyd
Comment from Judgement Dave
Being up front about belief: I'm atheist, but, for a non-believer, know heck of a lot about Christianity and quite a lot about other religions (especially Judaism, Islam and Buddhism).
I've always thought that, if there isn't an entity god, religion still made great sense to be created as it provided social rules to create civilised society and also provides a great source of hope and assurance for believers.
I feel that your poem works very well for believers and even for non-believers with a similar outlook. The first half was a very good poetic treatment of the feeling of depression and the second part really speaks beautifully about how your faith helped you.
The only criticism I would have, is a minor niggle about the penultimate stanza:
Until I know my faith's restored,
I know in God my lion roared
Lion of Judah stands with me,
my pain is eased until I see.
It irks me slightly that 'lion' appears twice, when there's probably a whole host (pun unintended, but accepted) of other phrases that may have avoided the first occurrence. Maybe change the 2nd line to something like "I know in God my spirit soars"?
But that's just personal taste - and it's a minor niggle in a very good poem.
Hope this makes sense,
Cheers
JD
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Being up front about belief: I'm atheist, but, for a non-believer, know heck of a lot about Christianity and quite a lot about other religions (especially Judaism, Islam and Buddhism).
I've always thought that, if there isn't an entity god, religion still made great sense to be created as it provided social rules to create civilised society and also provides a great source of hope and assurance for believers.
I feel that your poem works very well for believers and even for non-believers with a similar outlook. The first half was a very good poetic treatment of the feeling of depression and the second part really speaks beautifully about how your faith helped you.
The only criticism I would have, is a minor niggle about the penultimate stanza:
Until I know my faith's restored,
I know in God my lion roared
Lion of Judah stands with me,
my pain is eased until I see.
It irks me slightly that 'lion' appears twice, when there's probably a whole host (pun unintended, but accepted) of other phrases that may have avoided the first occurrence. Maybe change the 2nd line to something like "I know in God my spirit soars"?
But that's just personal taste - and it's a minor niggle in a very good poem.
Hope this makes sense,
Cheers
JD
Comment Written 04-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much Dave, for this insightful, encouraging and succinct review,
I shall take your suggestion on board, blessings, Roy.
Comment from pbroussard209
This was beautifully written and I'm so happy you found your way. My fourteen year old daughter was diagnosed last month with sever depression. They want to put her on prozac but I said no. Its very dangerous for someone so young.
We are working instead on changing her diet and getting her outside to exercise. She stays in her room day and night. Normal I know for someone her age, but she needs some fresh air once in a while.
Trish
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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This was beautifully written and I'm so happy you found your way. My fourteen year old daughter was diagnosed last month with sever depression. They want to put her on prozac but I said no. Its very dangerous for someone so young.
We are working instead on changing her diet and getting her outside to exercise. She stays in her room day and night. Normal I know for someone her age, but she needs some fresh air once in a while.
Trish
Comment Written 04-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much Trish, for this insightful, encouraging and succinct review, Loyd, blessings, Roy.
Comment from Writingfundimension
'Within this whirlpool tossed and turned,
and for some warmth forever yearned,
For though I swim in murky gloom,
I'll listen not to whispered doom.'
I've struggled with depression for most of my life, though two decades past I found an acceptable form of treatment. Still, I have to be constantly vigilant in terms of letting in the negative and wallowing in hopelessness. I did not find your poem insulting in any way because I know that you appreciate the blessing of being able to move out of that darkness early on in life. There's a good message in this poem, Roy, as you intended. Thank you for sharing.
:) Bev
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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'Within this whirlpool tossed and turned,
and for some warmth forever yearned,
For though I swim in murky gloom,
I'll listen not to whispered doom.'
I've struggled with depression for most of my life, though two decades past I found an acceptable form of treatment. Still, I have to be constantly vigilant in terms of letting in the negative and wallowing in hopelessness. I did not find your poem insulting in any way because I know that you appreciate the blessing of being able to move out of that darkness early on in life. There's a good message in this poem, Roy, as you intended. Thank you for sharing.
:) Bev
Comment Written 04-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much Bev, for this insightful, encouraging and succinct review, blessings, Roy.
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You're very welcome, my friend. :) Bev
Comment from boxergirl
Great job with your poem about dappled shadows, Roy. I am thankful that I have my faith to help me during troubled times. He will never leave me. 8-)
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Great job with your poem about dappled shadows, Roy. I am thankful that I have my faith to help me during troubled times. He will never leave me. 8-)
Comment Written 04-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much for this insightful, encouraging and succinct review, blessings, Roy.
Comment from tfawcus
A beautifully worded set of rhyming couplets. Your poem is wonderful when read aloud. The rhythm is impeccable. I am a stranger to depression, but you have caught something here of what I imagine to be its essence, and your closing lines give great hope to those who might be afflicted by the condition.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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A beautifully worded set of rhyming couplets. Your poem is wonderful when read aloud. The rhythm is impeccable. I am a stranger to depression, but you have caught something here of what I imagine to be its essence, and your closing lines give great hope to those who might be afflicted by the condition.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Thanks Tony, your approval and first class comments are most welcome. Thank you as a person of perception that know to be, it means a lot, blessings, Roy.
Comment from dragonpoet
Easy, unforced rhymes and smooth meter tell the story of someone who feel hemmed in by emotions that seem to keep them down. It gives clear ideas of how they feel. I am glad this person had faith and let that drag him out of the hole. But, I don't think some suffering from depression believe God is available to them and maybe that keeps them depressed and in the sty. That is a good metaphor for internal miasma.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Easy, unforced rhymes and smooth meter tell the story of someone who feel hemmed in by emotions that seem to keep them down. It gives clear ideas of how they feel. I am glad this person had faith and let that drag him out of the hole. But, I don't think some suffering from depression believe God is available to them and maybe that keeps them depressed and in the sty. That is a good metaphor for internal miasma.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 04-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Thanks Joan, your approval and first class comments are gratefully received, blessings, Roy.
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No problem, Roy.
Joan
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is an excellently penned poem which describes depression well and then offers hope for recovery. The first 3 stanzas show how well you write imagery. I wish I had a six, but this is the best I can do ******. Have a blessed day, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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This is an excellently penned poem which describes depression well and then offers hope for recovery. The first 3 stanzas show how well you write imagery. I wish I had a six, but this is the best I can do ******. Have a blessed day, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 04-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much for a most encouraging and positive review and comments, your support is enough Debbie, blessings, Roy.
Comment from christianpowers
Hi,
Well, I commend you for the exploration. Most people rarely delve into such things with such an artistic exercise. The poem itself didn't appeal to me much, not being a man of faith. Also, I thought the rhyme scheme far too simple for the length and the message, but that's a matter of opinion.
However, I do see how some would find this quite inspirational. So good work with that.
The idea of it reminded me of the psalm, "The Lord is My Shepard" not that it sounded anything like that, but you get my meaning.
Thanks for posting. I hope my feedback helped.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Hi,
Well, I commend you for the exploration. Most people rarely delve into such things with such an artistic exercise. The poem itself didn't appeal to me much, not being a man of faith. Also, I thought the rhyme scheme far too simple for the length and the message, but that's a matter of opinion.
However, I do see how some would find this quite inspirational. So good work with that.
The idea of it reminded me of the psalm, "The Lord is My Shepard" not that it sounded anything like that, but you get my meaning.
Thanks for posting. I hope my feedback helped.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much. it's good to a different perspective on things, encouraging comments and review, blessings, Roy.
