When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "A Guilt Trip"A family's love is tested.
26 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Heck, I wanna move into that assisted living community myself, Spit. Cable television, lots of books in large print, and a staff who cleans your rooms and cooks three meals a day for you, and transportation provided for all of your doctors appointments? Where do I sign up, heh-heh?
You were probably right in delaying such drastic action, however. If she was able to still take care of herself, then putting her in a home, no matter how nice, might have sent her into a deep depression.
If your aunt was so dead-set against your mom being in an assisted care facility, then why wouldn't she take her in her damn self? I mean, if she was so concerned about her sister's quality of care and everything. I'm surprised you didn't hit her with that question yourself. Or, maybe you did and we just haven't heard about it yet. Still, I think the assisted care facility would have been her best bet.
Another great chapter, Spit. The plot thickens...so to speak.
~Dean
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2015
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Heck, I wanna move into that assisted living community myself, Spit. Cable television, lots of books in large print, and a staff who cleans your rooms and cooks three meals a day for you, and transportation provided for all of your doctors appointments? Where do I sign up, heh-heh?
You were probably right in delaying such drastic action, however. If she was able to still take care of herself, then putting her in a home, no matter how nice, might have sent her into a deep depression.
If your aunt was so dead-set against your mom being in an assisted care facility, then why wouldn't she take her in her damn self? I mean, if she was so concerned about her sister's quality of care and everything. I'm surprised you didn't hit her with that question yourself. Or, maybe you did and we just haven't heard about it yet. Still, I think the assisted care facility would have been her best bet.
Another great chapter, Spit. The plot thickens...so to speak.
~Dean
Comment Written 28-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2015
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Those places are so expensive anymore. Today, the facility wants almost three thousand a month. I think fifteen years ago it was about eight hundred. My aunt at 5'3 weighed at least 200 pounds.
Not in good shape to care for anyone. Anyway, Mom didn't like her that much. LOL
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I can't say as I blame your mother in the slightest, Spit. I'm sure living with Frank could be a hoot at times, lol.
~Dean :)
Comment from mountainwriter49
Hi, Shari,
I did read the previous chapter but haven't had time to review. So, I see this chapter takes a turn from Nichole and focuses on your mom and her declining health. Reading this made me remember when I was at the decision for full-time critical care for my dad. It's not an easy decision.
You've set the tone well for these next chapters in your book and how 'turn' in ways we don't particularly care for and/or expect.
I found no SPAGS or issues with this chapter. Well done,
-Ray
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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Hi, Shari,
I did read the previous chapter but haven't had time to review. So, I see this chapter takes a turn from Nichole and focuses on your mom and her declining health. Reading this made me remember when I was at the decision for full-time critical care for my dad. It's not an easy decision.
You've set the tone well for these next chapters in your book and how 'turn' in ways we don't particularly care for and/or expect.
I found no SPAGS or issues with this chapter. Well done,
-Ray
Comment Written 28-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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Thanks, Ray, for following this. My mother had this horrible image of nursing homes and I too have heard stories. I tried to convince her that assisted living was better, but in her generation, the children always cared for the parents when they aged too bad to live alone.
Comment from w.j.debi
You aunt sounds like a real winner. It looks like she should keep her nose out of things and your mom would be better off for it. I don't notice her stepping up to invite her sister to live with her so she can take care of her. Don't you love it when other people want to run your life, but have no idea what it is really like, or what they are asking? Then your aunt goes and stirs the pot so your mom's new place is all set for a fight. Ugh!
It sounds like my aunt when grandpa was supposed to go into a nice assist living place. He was all for it until she talked him out of it. She was quite verbal about what that would do to her inheritance.
Why is is some people do not take into account what is good for the person in question? You sound like the one with the level head and the long term comfort of your mother in mind. Thank goodness you had control of the situation.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2015
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You aunt sounds like a real winner. It looks like she should keep her nose out of things and your mom would be better off for it. I don't notice her stepping up to invite her sister to live with her so she can take care of her. Don't you love it when other people want to run your life, but have no idea what it is really like, or what they are asking? Then your aunt goes and stirs the pot so your mom's new place is all set for a fight. Ugh!
It sounds like my aunt when grandpa was supposed to go into a nice assist living place. He was all for it until she talked him out of it. She was quite verbal about what that would do to her inheritance.
Why is is some people do not take into account what is good for the person in question? You sound like the one with the level head and the long term comfort of your mother in mind. Thank goodness you had control of the situation.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2015
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Unfortunately, I couldn't control Mom's hasty decision to buy a condo. Dee had no money to gain. She was just jealous that her sister would have a comfortable life with no bills except for the monthly rent which for the most part was covered by Dad's social security. Did I tell you that my aunt's daughter publically disowned her. Such hatred between the two.
Comment from Janet7053
Excellent writing...going through similar with my mom who is 90. She has full mental faculties, but fell and broke hip last year so is coming back slowly but surely.
Repeated words that you just spoke in exasperation one day. How rude, whoever told your mom.
You told this with feeling and empathy and I write this with the same, my friend.
I see no spag.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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Excellent writing...going through similar with my mom who is 90. She has full mental faculties, but fell and broke hip last year so is coming back slowly but surely.
Repeated words that you just spoke in exasperation one day. How rude, whoever told your mom.
You told this with feeling and empathy and I write this with the same, my friend.
I see no spag.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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Thanks, Janet, for commiserating. A fall is the first step to losing one's mobility. The older we get, the slower the healing. This was the first fall my mother ever had. She got off easy, I'd say. Hope your mother is getting better day.
Comment from barkingdog
You wern't there all day. Your mother needed care and meals prepared. What else could you have done? Dee sounds like a real problem. Didn't she want her sister living with her? Why should she complain about a care facility?
-took Mom (to) a posh
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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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You wern't there all day. Your mother needed care and meals prepared. What else could you have done? Dee sounds like a real problem. Didn't she want her sister living with her? Why should she complain about a care facility?
-took Mom (to) a posh
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Comment Written 28-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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I can only speculate on my aunt's feelings. One word: jealousy --going way back to childhood. She didn't have an extra room in her condo or maybe she might have offered. Who knows?
Comment from Debbie Noland
Yours is such a very difficult position. When parents are blessed (?) in this way with long lives, there are no good choices for us. Everything has serious drawbacks. Peripheral family members make an already-bad situation worse.
There is that stage when we are caught between the generations before and after us, and we bear the brunt of everyone else 's problems, not to mention that we have a few of our own by now as well. It is ironic that the very people we should take comfort in are often the cause of such anguish. You capture all that very well.
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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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Yours is such a very difficult position. When parents are blessed (?) in this way with long lives, there are no good choices for us. Everything has serious drawbacks. Peripheral family members make an already-bad situation worse.
There is that stage when we are caught between the generations before and after us, and we bear the brunt of everyone else 's problems, not to mention that we have a few of our own by now as well. It is ironic that the very people we should take comfort in are often the cause of such anguish. You capture all that very well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2015
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The sandwich generation is the label assigned to us. Mom talked a lot about how in past, families bought big houses and took care of each other until death.
Knowing that I went through, I would not want to live with either of my children. Assisted living sounds good to me which is why I've saved enough money to live that way if need be.
