Comment from seaglass

Exceptional

This is a very well written poem with rhyme and meter flowing for a pleasurable read. This is my life too...less is best. However, I wouldn't want to live without my computer and internet. (smile)

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2015

Yes, I like my computer too. It is just the consuming and over packaging these days. I once saw a coconut (perfect packaging or what?) and it had cling film around it. Don't get me started on those peanuts! Thanks for the encouraging 6 star review and your take on this one, cheers

reply by seaglass on 26-Jun-2015

You must read my poem about this subject...packaging these days require survival skills. LOl

reply by seaglass on 26-Jun-2015

Survival My poem regarding packaging

I'm reaching for my toolbox.
The day has just begun.
I'll have to have my tools, you see,
To get my day's tasks done.

I open up my Cheerios,
The box will cause no strife.
But the inner lining will require
My scissors and a knife.

I lift from the refrigerator
The milk jug with a scoff.
I gather pliers that I will need
To rip the darn lid off.

It's time for medication
The bottle is quite tight.
I'll use the hammer with some skill
And hit with all my might.

For lunch I'll have a hotdog.
Hermetically sealed I see.
I'm grabbing, now, my meat saw
To set those puppies free.

I plan to do some cleaning,
My floors are quite a fright.
Mr. Clean has inner sealing.
Screw driver works just right.

I'm going to bake a chicken.
A half a bird will do.
I'm reaching for my chainsaw
To saw that baby through.

Survival of the fittest
It's long been nature's rule.
Whoever thought survival is
How well you use a tool?

reply by the author on 26-Jun-2015

ha ha, this is so true. Opening almost anything these days takes a tool. cheers, j

Comment from Serendipity!

Excellent

people loyal and true (Is there too many syllables here? How about people loyal, true?) having pride in all you do.Could you delete the word 'having' and perhaps just have'...')
I like your poem. It speaks of a calm, peaceful, simple life as you intended it to, and covers many areas of being a 'natural' person. Yup, I like it, and agree with it.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2015

Thanks for the helpful and insightful review Serendipity, I changed it around a bit and sounds much better, cheers

Comment from risktaker

Excellent

I like the flow, tone, structure, and the message. the imagery is clear and relevant to the message of the poem. I like your resistance to the obsession of being on the phone all day. I like talking in person or hearing a voice. I don't like the relationship with machines. I relate to I like real conversations
but phones seem in control,
OMG,LOL, what do you mean?
Talk instead of scroll.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2015

Thanks for the insightful review risktaker. Those phones and selfies and abbreviated words drives me nuts. I appreciate your thoughts on this, cheers j