When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Nailing My Coffin "A family's love is tested.
29 total reviews
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Shari
Some mother and daughters never get to see eye to eye ... at least you and Nichole express your feelings, though neither seems to understand what is said. Though in saying that, it does seem you both know that you love each other and while not happy about it, you can agree to disagree.
Nichole had the answers in a practical manner, perhaps she is more that way than emotional. Anyway as far as your writing goes, you've provided an entertaining read with little anecdotes of the fun part of the wedding and enough emotion to convey your hurt to your reader, and Frank's anger. It must be difficult to have your child married to someone you dislike so much and have nothing in common, and vice versa for Nichole. I think my first marriage was a revenge on my mother, though after ten years they began to bond and when it ended ten more years later, I think my mother would have preferred to keep him and lose me. lol I'm hoping this write is cathartic for you. Well penned. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Hi Shari
Some mother and daughters never get to see eye to eye ... at least you and Nichole express your feelings, though neither seems to understand what is said. Though in saying that, it does seem you both know that you love each other and while not happy about it, you can agree to disagree.
Nichole had the answers in a practical manner, perhaps she is more that way than emotional. Anyway as far as your writing goes, you've provided an entertaining read with little anecdotes of the fun part of the wedding and enough emotion to convey your hurt to your reader, and Frank's anger. It must be difficult to have your child married to someone you dislike so much and have nothing in common, and vice versa for Nichole. I think my first marriage was a revenge on my mother, though after ten years they began to bond and when it ended ten more years later, I think my mother would have preferred to keep him and lose me. lol I'm hoping this write is cathartic for you. Well penned. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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LOL at your comment on your mother preferring him at the end. Trust me, that would never happen with Jeff. The write is cathartic. As I wrote it, I realized it doesn't matter if my daughter comes to visit or if I ever see her again--unless she's without you know who. We have good conversations every weekend on the phone, and I'm careful to keep my tongue in check.
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You can laugh. lol
Jeff must be a horror, at least you can have a relationship over the phone with Nicole. I had to remove my mother from my life for three years to keep my sanity. One thing about my mother, she is never careful to keep her tongue in check. lol ... and she bites. LOL Hugs - Lovi xoxo
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That should be an interesting write. Hint.
Comment from walbc
Oh dear Shari, you certainly put your foot in it this time. I tend to agree with your mother, things in writing can't ever be taken back. Still, it seems you and hubby needed to let off steam and no great harm seems to have been done. Nichole still loves you both and that is the main thing.
Warm regards, Wendy.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Oh dear Shari, you certainly put your foot in it this time. I tend to agree with your mother, things in writing can't ever be taken back. Still, it seems you and hubby needed to let off steam and no great harm seems to have been done. Nichole still loves you both and that is the main thing.
Warm regards, Wendy.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Yes, we walked on hot coals for awhile. It took time for Nichole to grow up and see things from our POV. We are still, each one of us, careful not to discuss past grievances.
Comment from Jay Squires
Knowing my hubby, we piled into the rental car and headed to LAX before he showed up. [Did I tell you I like your hubby? He seems an honest, from the hip type shooter. I might not like what he tells me, but a year or two later I'd probably admit to the truth of it.]
Was that one of those letters you drop in the mailbox and immediately wish you could fish out?
I must say I was cringing for you over her every point over the phone. It must not have been an easy one to be on the receiving end of.
Good, honest post.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Knowing my hubby, we piled into the rental car and headed to LAX before he showed up. [Did I tell you I like your hubby? He seems an honest, from the hip type shooter. I might not like what he tells me, but a year or two later I'd probably admit to the truth of it.]
Was that one of those letters you drop in the mailbox and immediately wish you could fish out?
I must say I was cringing for you over her every point over the phone. It must not have been an easy one to be on the receiving end of.
Good, honest post.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Hubby is a person you either love or hate for his honesty. Sometimes I wish I had read the letter to Mom and asked her advice. I'm sure she would have said to tear it up and let bygones be bygones. I took offense where offense was not meant-- and I take the blame. But a later incident convinced me that Jeff really is an insensitive clod. That will come out later.
Good to hear how the telephone call affected you. :-)Thanks for empathizing with me.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Sounds like a misunderstanding to me, and I can see by her explanation that she did the best she could. I think you were just upset from the stress and the fact that it's over... post partum stuff, losing your daughter? Hope things are good between you now. :)
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Sounds like a misunderstanding to me, and I can see by her explanation that she did the best she could. I think you were just upset from the stress and the fact that it's over... post partum stuff, losing your daughter? Hope things are good between you now. :)
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Phyllis, you are so right. I took offense where it wasn't meant. Nichole and I will never be as close again but that's probably true of a lot of marriages. The husband comes first now in the heart.
Comment from judiverse
You seem to worry about sparing Nicole's feelings. That parting comment, "Try to be more sensitive to my feelings," was priceless, as you were the one with the legitimate grievance. I think it was good that you let her know how you felt. The entire wedding didn't sound to me like something to be taken seriously, the way Jeff masterminded it. Who would have thought of having a scene from "Flashdance" at a wedding? It seems unlikely that Jeff has improved over the years. If you were able to keep the relationship with Nicole going, you are very forgiving. judi
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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You seem to worry about sparing Nicole's feelings. That parting comment, "Try to be more sensitive to my feelings," was priceless, as you were the one with the legitimate grievance. I think it was good that you let her know how you felt. The entire wedding didn't sound to me like something to be taken seriously, the way Jeff masterminded it. Who would have thought of having a scene from "Flashdance" at a wedding? It seems unlikely that Jeff has improved over the years. If you were able to keep the relationship with Nicole going, you are very forgiving. judi
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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I could see the writing on the wall when she married the jerk. When we call her and he's home, she's very guarded in contrast to opening up about her life when he's out walking the dog. But she never criticizes or faults him to our face. That's admirable, I guess.LOL
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She has stayed with him all these years. That surely says something. judi
Comment from sibhus
A well written chapter, even though it wasn't a Mary Poppins type of time. In-laws, can't live with em, can't stand em, and you definitely can't boil them. Still an interesting chapter on the many ups and downs of a mother-daughter relationship.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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A well written chapter, even though it wasn't a Mary Poppins type of time. In-laws, can't live with em, can't stand em, and you definitely can't boil them. Still an interesting chapter on the many ups and downs of a mother-daughter relationship.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Thanks, husky. I'm just writing to get it out of my system. LOL
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Shari,
It occurred to me that the wedding was so much fun, they could have sold tickets had it been a stage production.
Did you mean to say, "DAD and I will get to Hawaii?"
All fun aside, you and Frank were treated terribly.
I remember that wonderful scene in the movie, although it's been over 20 years.
Thanks for pointing out the judges' reactions. When that one guy started blowing his nose in beat to the music, I totally cracked up.
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Hi Shari,
It occurred to me that the wedding was so much fun, they could have sold tickets had it been a stage production.
Did you mean to say, "DAD and I will get to Hawaii?"
All fun aside, you and Frank were treated terribly.
I remember that wonderful scene in the movie, although it's been over 20 years.
Thanks for pointing out the judges' reactions. When that one guy started blowing his nose in beat to the music, I totally cracked up.
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Thanks for catching the name error. Appreciate that you watched the video too. I loved that and the final dance scene in Dirty Dancing. Yep, the toe tapping judge got to me as well the nose blower.
Comment from IndianaIrish
An emotional chapter, Shari, for you and for your daughter. Did you feel you did the right thing letting her know of your hurts during the wedding and reception with your letter? I think so. I think it's always better to get hurt feelings out in the open. She may have thought she did right by you guys, but couldn't she see the treatment of Jeff's parents and you and Frank were totally different? I hope you make up!
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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An emotional chapter, Shari, for you and for your daughter. Did you feel you did the right thing letting her know of your hurts during the wedding and reception with your letter? I think so. I think it's always better to get hurt feelings out in the open. She may have thought she did right by you guys, but couldn't she see the treatment of Jeff's parents and you and Frank were totally different? I hope you make up!
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Of course, we made up, but never discussed the wedding faux pas again. Since the letter didn't open her eyes one bit, I do regret that I said anything. Over the years, in unguarded moments, she given me clues that she's now aware of why objected so much.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Naturally when I saw the title of your latest chapter, I was all over it like flies on stank, Shari. Nothing ever stinks about your writing, though, and each chapter is just as enjoyable as another. This one was certainly no exception.
I don't think anyone would fault you for feeling just a little bit left out of the mix--and at your own daughter's wedding, no less. I mean, geez, Louise, you and Frank weren't even asked to take pictures with Nichole and Jeff afterward like his parents were. And no one would blame you for unloading a little on dear old mom, either. You were upset, and that's what mother's do for their children when they're upset. They console them, give them the best advice they know how, reassure them that everything will work out just fine. Just as you would do for your children.
Some lines in this I really thought were funny were;
"My husband's like a dog with a bone when he's upset about something."........I'm exactly the same way. I think it's a "guy thing", heh-heh...
"I'm sure my daughter is part Rottweiler. She knows how to go for the jugular.".........I kinda like that about Nichole. Not that she did it to you, just the fact that she has that...killer instinct...
"It upset Jeff too," she snarled. "He thinks you hate him now."
Wow, maybe my son-in-law was more perceptive than I thought.
Excellent as always, Shari. But, like I told you before, I for one don't blame you a bit for being upset.
~Dean :}
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Naturally when I saw the title of your latest chapter, I was all over it like flies on stank, Shari. Nothing ever stinks about your writing, though, and each chapter is just as enjoyable as another. This one was certainly no exception.
I don't think anyone would fault you for feeling just a little bit left out of the mix--and at your own daughter's wedding, no less. I mean, geez, Louise, you and Frank weren't even asked to take pictures with Nichole and Jeff afterward like his parents were. And no one would blame you for unloading a little on dear old mom, either. You were upset, and that's what mother's do for their children when they're upset. They console them, give them the best advice they know how, reassure them that everything will work out just fine. Just as you would do for your children.
Some lines in this I really thought were funny were;
"My husband's like a dog with a bone when he's upset about something."........I'm exactly the same way. I think it's a "guy thing", heh-heh...
"I'm sure my daughter is part Rottweiler. She knows how to go for the jugular.".........I kinda like that about Nichole. Not that she did it to you, just the fact that she has that...killer instinct...
"It upset Jeff too," she snarled. "He thinks you hate him now."
Wow, maybe my son-in-law was more perceptive than I thought.
Excellent as always, Shari. But, like I told you before, I for one don't blame you a bit for being upset.
~Dean :}
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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I do appreciate that you cited my efforts at humor here. Also that you tuned into the poignancy of daughters sharing heartaches with Mothers. Since Nichole decided that she never wanted children, she'll never know that depth of feeling. Well-- a little as you'll see in the next chapter.
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I have an 18 year old daughter myself. I used to have a wife, too. So, I know well how mothers and daughters closely bond. More so than with their fathers.
Comment from alexisleech
Why is it that we can write someone a message or letter, and although it all seamed reasonable to you, the receiver takes umbrage and turns it against you. Been there and got the tee shirt a few times. It all boils down to the three sides to every story scenario. Yours, mine, and the truth.
I hope it didn't end up creating a permanent rift between you and your daughter. I look forward to reading on (I hope!)
Alexis x
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Why is it that we can write someone a message or letter, and although it all seamed reasonable to you, the receiver takes umbrage and turns it against you. Been there and got the tee shirt a few times. It all boils down to the three sides to every story scenario. Yours, mine, and the truth.
I hope it didn't end up creating a permanent rift between you and your daughter. I look forward to reading on (I hope!)
Alexis x
Comment Written 18-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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There's a whole lot more, alexis, but because of Jeff, we don't care if she even comes to our funeral. How bad is that!
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Oh no! I'm so sorry, Shari. That must be awful. I had hoped they might have split up, which was why you could now write about it. Our children can hurt us so much, sometimes without even realising it. x
