Reflections Of Color
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Big Yellow Ball"A collection of my All-Time Best rated song lyrics
26 total reviews
Comment from MelB
Nice artwork to compliment this poem. Good rhyme and flow throughout.
The only suggestion I can come up with is dropping the s on lands (impoverished lands) to rhyme better with hand. Very interesting facts on the strawberry moon.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Nice artwork to compliment this poem. Good rhyme and flow throughout.
The only suggestion I can come up with is dropping the s on lands (impoverished lands) to rhyme better with hand. Very interesting facts on the strawberry moon.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thanks for your comments and support.
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You're welcome
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing your inspiration and notes about the Strawberry Moon and the plant. I admired your descriptions of the reflections the huge moon brought to mind plus your presentation in rhymed couplets in quatrains. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you for sharing your inspiration and notes about the Strawberry Moon and the plant. I admired your descriptions of the reflections the huge moon brought to mind plus your presentation in rhymed couplets in quatrains. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thanks for your comments and support.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Beautifully done.
Nice art work to accompany your piece.
Very good story in a piece and thank youfor the authors notes for explanation.
Love the descriptions and the flow. Rhyme and rhythm were excellent
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Beautifully done.
Nice art work to accompany your piece.
Very good story in a piece and thank youfor the authors notes for explanation.
Love the descriptions and the flow. Rhyme and rhythm were excellent
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thanks for your comments and support.
Comment from amahra
Very nice art work. Love the bright yellow background color to enhance the mood of the poem. Loved ther aabb rhyming pattern of the poem. Great word choice and nice rhythm.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Very nice art work. Love the bright yellow background color to enhance the mood of the poem. Loved ther aabb rhyming pattern of the poem. Great word choice and nice rhythm.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thanks for your comments and support.
Comment from I am Cat
The moon has always made me stop and
stare in wonder....
One of my favorite sights is when Venus sits near the moon.
:)
I love the thought of a big Yellow Ball... bouncing through the
universe...
the only thing I see is maybe the word: Shrim'ring (should that be shimmering or shim'ring?) I actually think the line can hold the entire word without having to use a contractions... in that you haven't used any other contractions throughout the poem.
Well written, I enjoyed your imagery.
Cat
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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The moon has always made me stop and
stare in wonder....
One of my favorite sights is when Venus sits near the moon.
:)
I love the thought of a big Yellow Ball... bouncing through the
universe...
the only thing I see is maybe the word: Shrim'ring (should that be shimmering or shim'ring?) I actually think the line can hold the entire word without having to use a contractions... in that you haven't used any other contractions throughout the poem.
Well written, I enjoyed your imagery.
Cat
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Thanks for your comments and support.
Comment from judiverse
Excellent rhyme in this and comments on what the bright yellow moon might see. Touching comments about the differences between the impoverished places and those that offer a carefree place for building sand castles. Excellent plea for the war and pestilence to cease and desist. If that big yellow ball can give guidance, let's hope it will. Interesting notes about the Strawberry Moon. It is strawberry time. Well done, and excellent expression of your thoughts. judi
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Excellent rhyme in this and comments on what the bright yellow moon might see. Touching comments about the differences between the impoverished places and those that offer a carefree place for building sand castles. Excellent plea for the war and pestilence to cease and desist. If that big yellow ball can give guidance, let's hope it will. Interesting notes about the Strawberry Moon. It is strawberry time. Well done, and excellent expression of your thoughts. judi
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Thank you for your comments and continued support. Always appreciated.
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You're very welcome. Happy trails. judi
Comment from benoenose
Natures attractive poem, praising the solar system especially the moon. With more insights of the big ball, particularly the malnutrition is looked upon by the poet. This makes the poem more effective with a humanitarian cause.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Natures attractive poem, praising the solar system especially the moon. With more insights of the big ball, particularly the malnutrition is looked upon by the poet. This makes the poem more effective with a humanitarian cause.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Thanks for your comments. Always appreciated.
Comment from CD Richards
A very enjoyable poem. Good rhyme and meter. I thought you brought out the contrast between the noise and turbulence in human affairs and the constancy and reliability of the moon's travels very well. Nice work.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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A very enjoyable poem. Good rhyme and meter. I thought you brought out the contrast between the noise and turbulence in human affairs and the constancy and reliability of the moon's travels very well. Nice work.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much indeed.
Comment from MizKat
Hi Brett,
This is a beautiful poem you've written. I love to read your poetry. You are one talented man that's for sure. I loved reading your author notes too. They were also enjoyable to read.
Kat
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Hi Brett,
This is a beautiful poem you've written. I love to read your poetry. You are one talented man that's for sure. I loved reading your author notes too. They were also enjoyable to read.
Kat
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Thank you for your high compliment and your continued support. Always appreciate them very much. Added the notes to explain what a Strawberry Moon is because most people probably do not know what one is.
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I don't remember ever hearing about a Strawberry Moon before. Love what you wrote and also your author notes.
Comment from Sis Cat
A beautiful and evocative poem. At first I thought you were writing about the sun but when I discovered you were writing about the moon I defeat your poem. "Illuminate the Earth through the night" is your hint that you are writing about the moon. Yet, the poem will be unclear for those who do not read the notes. The yellow background and the yellow picture of what looks like the sun makes the reader think you are writing about the sun.
I suggest a revised early line that would include "June moon" or Strawberry moon." Include early references to night instead of sunrise your poem describes at the end. The moon does not shine light. It reflects light. Accurate description could strengthen the reader's awareness of the Strawberry Moon. They are special. Include that information in the poem. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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A beautiful and evocative poem. At first I thought you were writing about the sun but when I discovered you were writing about the moon I defeat your poem. "Illuminate the Earth through the night" is your hint that you are writing about the moon. Yet, the poem will be unclear for those who do not read the notes. The yellow background and the yellow picture of what looks like the sun makes the reader think you are writing about the sun.
I suggest a revised early line that would include "June moon" or Strawberry moon." Include early references to night instead of sunrise your poem describes at the end. The moon does not shine light. It reflects light. Accurate description could strengthen the reader's awareness of the Strawberry Moon. They are special. Include that information in the poem. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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The first line above the title says this is about a Strawberry Moon. Thanks for your comments.
