When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Gaining A Son-In-Law"A family's love is tested.
28 total reviews
Comment from boxergirl
Nothing dull about this wedding. I was surprised that Jeff had it in him...the music was quite funny and then he sheds some tears.
I think your pizza throwing idea would have been funny...the nerve of him calling you boring! 8-)
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Nothing dull about this wedding. I was surprised that Jeff had it in him...the music was quite funny and then he sheds some tears.
I think your pizza throwing idea would have been funny...the nerve of him calling you boring! 8-)
Comment Written 01-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Oh, how I wish I had done it. But to his credit, he would have laughed and found it quite charming!
Comment from Dean Kuch
Good heaven's, what a wedding ceremony, Spit! I thought when my wife was rowed across a glittering pond while standing (very precariously I might add!) in the boat holding a parasol, that it was quite unique. Uh-uh, no way, at least not in relation to...this. It did cause me to get emotional, though. She looked like an angel.
But, enogh about that, I clearly picked up on the paganistic aspects of their ceremony. But of course, why wouldn't I? It is comforting to note that you did feel a holiness in that room as the ceremony was performed. Couple this with the fact that Jeff and your daughter still remain married today mean s they must've done something right.
The Elephant Man?!? Holy sh!t, heh-heh...
~Dean
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Good heaven's, what a wedding ceremony, Spit! I thought when my wife was rowed across a glittering pond while standing (very precariously I might add!) in the boat holding a parasol, that it was quite unique. Uh-uh, no way, at least not in relation to...this. It did cause me to get emotional, though. She looked like an angel.
But, enogh about that, I clearly picked up on the paganistic aspects of their ceremony. But of course, why wouldn't I? It is comforting to note that you did feel a holiness in that room as the ceremony was performed. Couple this with the fact that Jeff and your daughter still remain married today mean s they must've done something right.
The Elephant Man?!? Holy sh!t, heh-heh...
~Dean
Comment Written 01-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Oh, that sounds romantic, if a tad dangerous should the boat tip. Jeff was a wreck when he started reading his vows. I did feel God in that wedding, Dean. After all, He has a sense of humor too.
Yes, The Elephant Man was originally a play. I'm betting he was quite good in it. Yeap, they're still together so I have to let go my frustration.
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Yes, He has quote a sense of humor, Shari. I know. ;)
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Yes, He has quite a sense of humor, Shari. I know. ;)
Comment from mermaids
The Elephant Man? The Godfather and marrying Dopey? This is the most unusual wedding I have ever read about. I can feel your tension towards Jeff's relatives. Your story is better than a movie.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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The Elephant Man? The Godfather and marrying Dopey? This is the most unusual wedding I have ever read about. I can feel your tension towards Jeff's relatives. Your story is better than a movie.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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LOL. It would make a good comedy. Wait until you hear Jeff's wedding speech.
Comment from judiverse
I can't believe the wedding ceremony. Surprised Nicole would go along with such a strange ceremony. The music, the masks--it all seems pretty weird, especially the "So, Snow White, you're going to marry Dopey." That sounds like it's coming too close. Oh, well, what do I know? Wondering what you think of it after all the years that have passed. Interesting comment from Joanne about not wanting to live in San Diego. Excellent details about the wedding in this. judi
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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I can't believe the wedding ceremony. Surprised Nicole would go along with such a strange ceremony. The music, the masks--it all seems pretty weird, especially the "So, Snow White, you're going to marry Dopey." That sounds like it's coming too close. Oh, well, what do I know? Wondering what you think of it after all the years that have passed. Interesting comment from Joanne about not wanting to live in San Diego. Excellent details about the wedding in this. judi
Comment Written 01-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Nichole had a quirky side to her that she kept under control until she met Jeff. Maybe he is the right man for her. As it turns out, she gets the best of two worlds four years later-- the sane and the insane. :-)
Definitely, the Snow White comment is spot on.
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They've remained married, so that is something. judi
Comment from Debbie Noland
Here are some newspaper headlines I imagined as I read this segment:
Mother-in-law arrested; inflicts third-degree burns with pizza
Judge rules mother's passive-aggressive tendencies justified
Son suggests death as solution to argument with mother
Seriously, you have done such a great job telling this story, and I am loving every word. I am anxious to know how these feelings change or don't with the passage of time and from the calmer, less emotional perspective of retrospect.
In the paragraph that begins "Chris and Joanne," I think there is a word inadvertently omitted near the end: "want," maybe, before the "to"?
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Here are some newspaper headlines I imagined as I read this segment:
Mother-in-law arrested; inflicts third-degree burns with pizza
Judge rules mother's passive-aggressive tendencies justified
Son suggests death as solution to argument with mother
Seriously, you have done such a great job telling this story, and I am loving every word. I am anxious to know how these feelings change or don't with the passage of time and from the calmer, less emotional perspective of retrospect.
In the paragraph that begins "Chris and Joanne," I think there is a word inadvertently omitted near the end: "want," maybe, before the "to"?
Comment Written 01-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Thanks for noting the missing word. Love the headline review. Appreciate knowing what you are looking for, but I'm not giving anything away. LOL
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Ok--I shall exercise patience as I sit here on the edge of my seat biting my nails.
Comment from Jay Squires
fine description of the ceremony and Jeff's odd sentimental reaction to it.
A couple of things:
We struggle to make conversation. [I didn't notice the lapse into the present tense before.]
Nichole, as regal as any queen, never lost her compose and only exuded serenity. [...never lost her COMPOSURE...?]
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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fine description of the ceremony and Jeff's odd sentimental reaction to it.
A couple of things:
We struggle to make conversation. [I didn't notice the lapse into the present tense before.]
Nichole, as regal as any queen, never lost her compose and only exuded serenity. [...never lost her COMPOSURE...?]
Comment Written 01-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Thanks, Jay, for your eagle eyes. I was surprised too at Jeff's show of emotion. More of this in the next post.
Comment from Tatarka2
I still hear your voice, here, and feel your resentment. This wedding is hideous enough without the reader having to be told. I would definitely suggest third person. If you write it that way, you can leave out the possibility of the reader feeling "told what to feel" by simply describing the details. I think it would be much more powerful that way. I would really make much of the mask thing at the end. Whose masks are being shown - and dropped? And who are the couple, really - surely not Snow White and Dopey, but are they really Nichole and Jeff - or someone else? Do they know? This has the makings of a powerful, emotional tale of the coming-of-age of both a young woman and her family (you and Frank). Keep on, I'm so glad you're telling it - but I do think that a certain detachment will be key in the final telling.
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reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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I still hear your voice, here, and feel your resentment. This wedding is hideous enough without the reader having to be told. I would definitely suggest third person. If you write it that way, you can leave out the possibility of the reader feeling "told what to feel" by simply describing the details. I think it would be much more powerful that way. I would really make much of the mask thing at the end. Whose masks are being shown - and dropped? And who are the couple, really - surely not Snow White and Dopey, but are they really Nichole and Jeff - or someone else? Do they know? This has the makings of a powerful, emotional tale of the coming-of-age of both a young woman and her family (you and Frank). Keep on, I'm so glad you're telling it - but I do think that a certain detachment will be key in the final telling.
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Comment Written 01-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Interesting that you sense I felt the wedding was hideous. Actually, I found it innovative and fun. I'll do another read through after dinner and find out why this comes through. I was trying to be objective about the wedding itself.
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I'm so sorry - I didn't mean in any way to offend. It does come across as pretty hideous, though. I do think the mask thing is rife with possibilities. If Nichole can't please everyone, and still be herself, then who is being masked, and un-masked? And if it's not Snow White and Dopey getting married, then who is? I think the metaphor of the masks speaks volumes a bout this situation - or at least, it could be used as a literary technique, to interesting advantage.
Comment from Sasha
Despite my doubts, the wedding was really quite nice. I just love Jeff's comment at the end. Now I need to know if the marriage lasts and if not, how long before they decided to move on? Nice work with this one.
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reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Despite my doubts, the wedding was really quite nice. I just love Jeff's comment at the end. Now I need to know if the marriage lasts and if not, how long before they decided to move on? Nice work with this one.
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Comment Written 01-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2015
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Thanks, Sasha. I think you meant the priest's comment at the end. I'll double-check to see if I made it clear.
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I just double checked and you are right...it is still funny.
