Tonight
A night unforseen9 total reviews
Comment from boxergirl
Sorry the evening didn't pan out but sometimes a black cloud can be a blessing in disguise. :-)
It did inspire this great free verse which is full of alliteration and descriptive details of your experience.
Hang in there...maybe too tired but never too old! 8-)
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Sorry the evening didn't pan out but sometimes a black cloud can be a blessing in disguise. :-)
It did inspire this great free verse which is full of alliteration and descriptive details of your experience.
Hang in there...maybe too tired but never too old! 8-)
Comment Written 28-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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that's right, I don't have to play Memorex all the time. lol Told someone else this, but I'm glad in a way cause my bed is still perfectly made with all bleachy smelling sheets and quilt. lol
lulube
Comment from krys123
Lulube;
-Despite the black cloud that hung over you that night. Your writing really is well written to describe you and express the feelings that you went through that evening.
-The imagery is very definitively expressive and demonstratively and vividly descriptive throughout the writing.
-Good use of enjambment which is the running on of a thought and concepts one stanza and line to the next without a syntactical break/
-good alliteration in the first verse.
-"Sweat starts rolling down face and back/Now my clothing is all soaking wet/How uncomfortable, must look a sight". This is a good description of a very uncomfortable evening, physically, and earlier you describe it as being very mentally uncomfortable.
-Thank you for sharing and posting and I hope you tomorrow's a be much better. And peace be with you and blessings.
Alex
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Lulube;
-Despite the black cloud that hung over you that night. Your writing really is well written to describe you and express the feelings that you went through that evening.
-The imagery is very definitively expressive and demonstratively and vividly descriptive throughout the writing.
-Good use of enjambment which is the running on of a thought and concepts one stanza and line to the next without a syntactical break/
-good alliteration in the first verse.
-"Sweat starts rolling down face and back/Now my clothing is all soaking wet/How uncomfortable, must look a sight". This is a good description of a very uncomfortable evening, physically, and earlier you describe it as being very mentally uncomfortable.
-Thank you for sharing and posting and I hope you tomorrow's a be much better. And peace be with you and blessings.
Alex
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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I'm a bouncer Alex, one day down, hopefully a few days up. lol Just getting my camera together with my smokes, and I'[m off to explore more of the water edges in Ladner, maybe even the sun set depends whether or not I'm in mosquito land
thxs as always for your support
lulube
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You are so sincerely welcome my dear friend.
Alex
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Good job expressing your frustrations about the night not turning out like you wished. Good use of some alliteration. The picture is nice. You did tell a good 'story.' Good job and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Good job expressing your frustrations about the night not turning out like you wished. Good use of some alliteration. The picture is nice. You did tell a good 'story.' Good job and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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thxs so much for your time to read and comment in your review. I really appreciate it and I'm so glad that you liked it.
lulube
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thxs again for your time and for this great review. I already wrote a reply for this review and for anothers review and I don';t know what happened. so sorry if I am repeating this.
lulube
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Lulube - sorry your night did not turn out right. But you managed a poem out of it so all is not lost. Better luck next time. By the way you are never too old. LOL. Good read. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Hi Lulube - sorry your night did not turn out right. But you managed a poem out of it so all is not lost. Better luck next time. By the way you are never too old. LOL. Good read. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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OMG this is the 3rd time to write this reply. so I'm going real short thxs Dorothy
lulube
Comment from Debra White
Hi Lulube :)
Sounds like a disappointing end to a promising evening...:(
You wrote the cross over of feelings out really well in your poem.
Nice touches of alliteration and enjambment throughout.
Sending my best to you as always, Debra x
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Hi Lulube :)
Sounds like a disappointing end to a promising evening...:(
You wrote the cross over of feelings out really well in your poem.
Nice touches of alliteration and enjambment throughout.
Sending my best to you as always, Debra x
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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thxs so much Debra for having time to review. You're doing well. lol Do you ever hear from Indie Skreet? I've chatted a couple of times with her through linkedin, think that's what it is. She's got a book of poems out now. I don't know why she came into my mind just now. weird,
hope all is well.
lulube
Comment from TAB_that's me
I'm sure sorry that your night didn't go as planned and that it turned into darkness. Tomorrow is another day but it doesn't feel that way right now.
Teresa
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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I'm sure sorry that your night didn't go as planned and that it turned into darkness. Tomorrow is another day but it doesn't feel that way right now.
Teresa
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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today's been so busy running around, all I think about is my newly changed bedding as of yesterday and how it is going to feel after my bath tonight. lol that's worth it.
thxs for your review Teresa
lulube
Comment from Joy Graham
Oh my, you described my hot flashes perfectly LOL!!! Not so funny while it's happening, I must say. I dislike hot flashes and am glad they seem to have gone away. Romance seems to be a distant memory for this gal. Though, I got a devoted husband. I'm very lucky. Not sure if we're talking about the same thing, but this is the image that popped into my head while reading your poem.
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Oh my, you described my hot flashes perfectly LOL!!! Not so funny while it's happening, I must say. I dislike hot flashes and am glad they seem to have gone away. Romance seems to be a distant memory for this gal. Though, I got a devoted husband. I'm very lucky. Not sure if we're talking about the same thing, but this is the image that popped into my head while reading your poem.
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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You got it right Joy. and don't count on it being gone away. It'll come back and back and back. especially when You're getting dressed in clothes you never thought you'd wear again. and you sit and sit and sit with a towel wrapped around you waiting to stop sweating. lol It's been at least 6 yrs for sweating and over 10 for the moods.
thxs for the joy, joy lol
lulube
Comment from country ranch writer
surprise it is me saying don't give up, life has its good moments and its shitty. we are survivors so you will overcome this too
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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surprise it is me saying don't give up, life has its good moments and its shitty. we are survivors so you will overcome this too
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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and you just slip on in at the right poem. lol How are ya Barb? Guess it's getting quite warm there now. it's been pretty good here for May. Flowers are all up, and this year I'm not going to dry out seeds where the racoons can snack on. And oh, I haven't seen one of them yet this year, I'm really worried about them. they may have been caught and relocated, there was 2 families of 5 or more, little packs of bandits. lol miss them
lulube
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Even though tonight did not meet the original expectations you had, it did inspire something beautiful in this well penned verse. It flows wonderfully and is filled with thought provoking imagery executed gracefully. Nicely done and I thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Even though tonight did not meet the original expectations you had, it did inspire something beautiful in this well penned verse. It flows wonderfully and is filled with thought provoking imagery executed gracefully. Nicely done and I thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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what a wonderful review. I thank you so much for your generous comments and 5 star rating. Appreciate it and glad you liked it
lulube
