The Forgotten Valley
A Beautiful Place39 total reviews
Comment from barkingdog
What a lovely contest entry. You've made your valley quite enticing, by including all of the senses to describe it: he taste of cherries, smell of almond flowers and cherry blossoms, the sound of tractors, the church bell and a nightingales song.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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What a lovely contest entry. You've made your valley quite enticing, by including all of the senses to describe it: he taste of cherries, smell of almond flowers and cherry blossoms, the sound of tractors, the church bell and a nightingales song.
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thank you so much for a lovely review. Ella
Comment from Michaelk
This sounds like a very beautiful and peaceful place. You describe it very well. This is a wonderful example of using all the senses in your writing.
It's hard to imagine a place where you only hear the occasional car.
This sounds like something you would see on a postcard.
Well written, I saw no mistakes. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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This sounds like a very beautiful and peaceful place. You describe it very well. This is a wonderful example of using all the senses in your writing.
It's hard to imagine a place where you only hear the occasional car.
This sounds like something you would see on a postcard.
Well written, I saw no mistakes. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thank you so much. I am glad you liked it. It is really like this. We are privileged. Ulla
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi...
-Creative story for the prompt
-Great imagery.
-Excellent description of sounds--allowing the reader to hear them.
-Excellent entry for the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*;*)
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Hi...
-Creative story for the prompt
-Great imagery.
-Excellent description of sounds--allowing the reader to hear them.
-Excellent entry for the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*;*)
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thank you so much. I am glad you liked it..Ulla
Comment from LIJ Red
The first question to mind is where is this? May is cherry season in the Northern Hemisphere. nightingales probably mean Europe, olives and oranges sound almost Mediterranean. No matter, the writing is clear and the description vivid.
Excellent.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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The first question to mind is where is this? May is cherry season in the Northern Hemisphere. nightingales probably mean Europe, olives and oranges sound almost Mediterranean. No matter, the writing is clear and the description vivid.
Excellent.
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Hi there, I am glad you liked it.. Yes, you are right it is Eastern Spain at the Med. Ulla
Comment from JasmineNikki
What a lovely little spot in the world!
USED:
We are surrounded by mountains that open up down towards the sea, and the lower valley down there, is mainly farmed with orange trees, which gives it a lovely green hue.
SUGGESTION:
Mountains surround the valley that open up down towards the sea and the lower valley has a lovely green hue from the orange trees used for farming.
If the smells and sounds of the valley were written before explaining the work you do it would have flown better and given the reader a chance to fully picture the place from the beginning. Just my thoughts!
Overall a nice read :)
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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What a lovely little spot in the world!
USED:
We are surrounded by mountains that open up down towards the sea, and the lower valley down there, is mainly farmed with orange trees, which gives it a lovely green hue.
SUGGESTION:
Mountains surround the valley that open up down towards the sea and the lower valley has a lovely green hue from the orange trees used for farming.
If the smells and sounds of the valley were written before explaining the work you do it would have flown better and given the reader a chance to fully picture the place from the beginning. Just my thoughts!
Overall a nice read :)
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thank you very much. Ulla
Comment from mommerry
The essay was well written as there were no SPAG issues. However, I felt it did not answer the challenge of the contest. The description of the place took a back seat to tales of what they do there, how hard they work and why mention the dog and its breed. It did not make me want to find the Forgotten Valley
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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The essay was well written as there were no SPAG issues. However, I felt it did not answer the challenge of the contest. The description of the place took a back seat to tales of what they do there, how hard they work and why mention the dog and its breed. It did not make me want to find the Forgotten Valley
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Ok, Thanks for your review. Ulla
Comment from Ben Colder
I assume this is California or Florida where orange trees are abundant. I can see the cherry trees in blossoms and the beauty they hold. Good to see the market place enjoying the moment. Best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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I assume this is California or Florida where orange trees are abundant. I can see the cherry trees in blossoms and the beauty they hold. Good to see the market place enjoying the moment. Best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thank you so much. It is actually Spain, Eastern coast at the Med. Ulla
Comment from sibhus
This does sound like a wonderful place. Excellent writing that really describes this magical valley in all its splendor. And though it sounds like you really have your hands full with the cherry harvest, it sounds like it's pure delight, as it's something you do for yourselves. A great entry for the contest, and good luck.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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This does sound like a wonderful place. Excellent writing that really describes this magical valley in all its splendor. And though it sounds like you really have your hands full with the cherry harvest, it sounds like it's pure delight, as it's something you do for yourselves. A great entry for the contest, and good luck.
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thank you so much. And yes it is so lovely to live here. Ulla
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Sign me up to move to this beautiful place. Your words are full of great imagery. Even describing the normal workday, you find and describe the beautiful thins of nature. The flow is great from the beginning throughout. I like that you continued the story after the picking season was over. I like the part early in the story about the orange trees. I would imagine they smelled great. I love the parts about the chirping birds. This does sound like a great place to live and work. Good job. I see no changes. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Sign me up to move to this beautiful place. Your words are full of great imagery. Even describing the normal workday, you find and describe the beautiful thins of nature. The flow is great from the beginning throughout. I like that you continued the story after the picking season was over. I like the part early in the story about the orange trees. I would imagine they smelled great. I love the parts about the chirping birds. This does sound like a great place to live and work. Good job. I see no changes. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thank you soo much for a great review. Yes, it is a wonderful place to live.Ulla
Comment from lancellot
It does indeed sound like a hidden valley. Far away from hustle and noise of the big cities, A place man has forgot. You paint an inviting picture and even working the land sounds tranquil. Well done.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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It does indeed sound like a hidden valley. Far away from hustle and noise of the big cities, A place man has forgot. You paint an inviting picture and even working the land sounds tranquil. Well done.
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thank you so much. And it is just that. Ulla
