That First Kiss
a love poem for the young & young at heart13 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
I don't generally crit 5-7-5 poems. I just have trouble getting much out of them. I'm reading this at your suggestion.
Yours, I must admit, left me a little confused. The question of gender came up. No judgement, just confusion.
But the poem focused on the heightened sensitivity to expectation. Good job.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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I don't generally crit 5-7-5 poems. I just have trouble getting much out of them. I'm reading this at your suggestion.
Yours, I must admit, left me a little confused. The question of gender came up. No judgement, just confusion.
But the poem focused on the heightened sensitivity to expectation. Good job.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Oh, boy, I blew this referral, Jay. I agree that this haiku is a bit ambiguous regarding gender. The poem I really wanted you to read is titled "Spellbound." Thanks for reviewing this one. Rod
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I went through three long pages of your portfolio but couldn't find it. Could you send me the link?
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I really appreciate your looking for "Spellbound." I think you might locate it easier by using the classic.fanstory.com format rather than the new one. The poem is on page 7 of my portfolio under RodG.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Nothing like that first time as you well written poem depicts in 17 little syllables. Short, sweet, and directly to an easy to follow meaning.
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Nothing like that first time as you well written poem depicts in 17 little syllables. Short, sweet, and directly to an easy to follow meaning.
Comment Written 25-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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I really appreciate your sharing "That First Kiss" and your kind praise. Rod
Comment from danpald
Caught in the moment of expectation
The kiss becomes an inspiration
Tender quiver of lips to meet
Longing for the sweet feeling to repeat
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Caught in the moment of expectation
The kiss becomes an inspiration
Tender quiver of lips to meet
Longing for the sweet feeling to repeat
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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I truly enjoyed your poetic review! Thank you for sharing my haiku. Rod
Comment from Dean Kuch
Nicely done, Anonymous Poet very nice. You capture that breathlessness, those heart-thumping pangs of excited expectancy one feels when he, or she, is about to kiss for the very first time. Your heart begins to race (if you're fortunate enough to have one), your breathing becomes shallow and difficult.
Great imagery in this one.
Good luck in the contest!
~Dean :}
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Nicely done, Anonymous Poet very nice. You capture that breathlessness, those heart-thumping pangs of excited expectancy one feels when he, or she, is about to kiss for the very first time. Your heart begins to race (if you're fortunate enough to have one), your breathing becomes shallow and difficult.
Great imagery in this one.
Good luck in the contest!
~Dean :}
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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It's great to know my reader(s) can relate to my poem so easily. Thanks for sharing, Dean, and your delightful commentary. Rod
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Anytime, Rod. My pleasure. :)
~Dean
Comment from K. Lorraine
Very pretty words...
A lovely thought about young love...
Thank you for sharing this special poem about the anticipation of that first kiss...
I simple adore the picture...
Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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Very pretty words...
A lovely thought about young love...
Thank you for sharing this special poem about the anticipation of that first kiss...
I simple adore the picture...
Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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I am delighted you enjoyed both poem and the picture. Thank you so much for sharing.
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You are welcome
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements splendidly with a correct line and syllable count. You convey the emotions of that first kiss wonderfully in this well penned piece. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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This meets the contest requirements splendidly with a correct line and syllable count. You convey the emotions of that first kiss wonderfully in this well penned piece. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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Thank you for sharing my poem and your kind praise and best wishes.
Comment from TPAC
Beautiful thought conveyance poet snap shot of a moment in time freezing the reader with the word 'wee" taking picture holding thought in time Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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Beautiful thought conveyance poet snap shot of a moment in time freezing the reader with the word 'wee" taking picture holding thought in time Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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So pleased you enjoyed this snapshot. Thank you for sharing.
Comment from angel123
Your love poem is nice and intimate. I enjoy reading it and it flows well. Your artwork choice enhances your poem.
Angel123
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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Your love poem is nice and intimate. I enjoy reading it and it flows well. Your artwork choice enhances your poem.
Angel123
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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Thank you so much, angel123, for sharing my love poem.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork to match your poem.
-Your format is good.
-I like the word choice in your poem.
-All three lines go together very well, leading from one idea to the next.
-Your poem gets across the expectation of the kiss very well.
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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-Very nice artwork to match your poem.
-Your format is good.
-I like the word choice in your poem.
-All three lines go together very well, leading from one idea to the next.
-Your poem gets across the expectation of the kiss very well.
Comment Written 23-May-2015
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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Thank you so much for sharing my love poem and your kind praise.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is a nice, romantic 5-7-5 that presents a lovely picture of that sweet first kiss in words and in the accompanying art. Good luck to you in the contest. Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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This is a nice, romantic 5-7-5 that presents a lovely picture of that sweet first kiss in words and in the accompanying art. Good luck to you in the contest. Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 23-May-2015
reply by the author on 24-May-2015
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Thank you for sharing my love poem, Jeanie, and your very kind praise.
