Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Interesting plot. Notes a bit extensive. Easy to follow story line. Plenty of smooth flowing action. Descriptive language used well throughout.

 Comment Written 24-May-2015

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reply by the author on 24-May-2015

Thank you, Brett, for reading and reviewing. I always welcome the opinion of other people.
Rhonda

Comment from boxergirl

Excellent

Great job with your dialogue, Rhonda. It WS engaging and it really helped keep your storyline moving. 8-)

Small spag:
But what did they want with me anyway (?)

What is this complete package[,] delete comma

 Comment Written 23-May-2015

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reply by the author on 23-May-2015

Thanks for the review, and I had hoped you would like the dialogue. I had already written more in, and when I got your review, I found other ways to rewrite the reading passages with conversation. It really did help with the flow, and even helped the reader to seem a part of the "discovery". Thanks for the help with the Spag. Thanks again,
Rhonda

Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day mate. Great job on this chapter full of intruige. I have no darn sixes, sorry. I really like where we are heading in this yarn, it is both mysterious and scary, bring on the next chapter maam....

One intsy wincey Suggestion....

"I do not look younger. I (I'll) have you know, I took a shower, that's all."

Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 23-May-2015

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reply by the author on 23-May-2015

Thank you so much for picking up the typos. That is truly helpful! and you are a great friend. Don't worry about the sixes. Just having you look it over is blessing enough. Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from chasennov

Excellent

Chapter 12 of the book Destiny's Angel Cadence escapes the clutches of the twins, Henry and Bram "Too Close For Comfort" It seems as though Cadence is well taken care of in spite of all the threats. Lucky to have guardian Angels around her. Well done.

 Comment Written 22-May-2015

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reply by the author on 23-May-2015

Thanks for the review and comments, and yes, Cadence seems to lead a charmed life in spite of her circumstances. I appreciate the feedback,
Rhonda

reply by chasennov on 24-May-2015

You are most welcome, Rhonda.

Comment from royowen

Exceptional

I'm glad it was C-Daddy who turned up, it's sort of a battle between heavenly goodies and baddies, and there's a lot more coming to light, concerning the two opposing sides and the mysterious packages that they are both (organisations) are interested in! Well done, fascinating work, I am intrigued, well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 22-May-2015

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reply by the author on 23-May-2015

Thanks so very much, Roy. How sweet to give such a generous review! I'm so glad that you read and followed this story. As always, there is much Christian symbolism, and you are always quick to notice. I think you pointed out before the white musical creature and who he represents. Thanks again,
Rhonda

reply by royowen on 23-May-2015

My pleasure Rhonda

Comment from MelB

Excellent

He reached down and scooped up up a rock. - (Extra up)
I hope I never had to meet any of them again, - have to meet any of them again,
C-Daddy saves the day! What a fun surprise, C-Daddy in a disguise, trying to look out for Cadence. She's very fortunate he was there and rescued her or she could have gotten in a lot of trouble.

 Comment Written 22-May-2015

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reply by the author on 23-May-2015

Thanks so much for the great and detailed review. It is so helpful when people are willing to pick out the mistakes. It has always helped to improve, not just the story I'm on, but future ones. I've learned so much from all of you. Thanks, again,
Rhonda