The pact
A promise kept17 total reviews
Comment from TPAC
Sweet conveyances in this work my comments aimed at smooth presentation writer conveys, my particular focus is writer set up to gain reader interest and writer doesn't disappoint
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Sweet conveyances in this work my comments aimed at smooth presentation writer conveys, my particular focus is writer set up to gain reader interest and writer doesn't disappoint
Comment Written 28-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Adri7enne
Ooh, horrifying for sure. She's nothing but green slime now, but he's willing to give up his imortality to spend eternity with her. Some women just do that, don't they? LOL! Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Ooh, horrifying for sure. She's nothing but green slime now, but he's willing to give up his imortality to spend eternity with her. Some women just do that, don't they? LOL! Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 24-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Dashjianta
A tightly told tale of a pact written in blood and sealed with death. You conjured good imagery of the scene with tight, brief descriptions.
Suggestion:
the iron door's crack
--This is the one bit of description which didn't work for me. It could be read as being a crack IN the door or the crack between door and frame. (or it might just be me over thinking things.) To avoid this consider expanding the description to, for example, 'the crack in the iron door'. It would mean losing a couple of words later (for example, you could take out 'blazing' from 'blazing sun' as it doesn't add to the scene you're painting, only describes what it was like before.) but I think it would be worth it.
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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A tightly told tale of a pact written in blood and sealed with death. You conjured good imagery of the scene with tight, brief descriptions.
Suggestion:
the iron door's crack
--This is the one bit of description which didn't work for me. It could be read as being a crack IN the door or the crack between door and frame. (or it might just be me over thinking things.) To avoid this consider expanding the description to, for example, 'the crack in the iron door'. It would mean losing a couple of words later (for example, you could take out 'blazing' from 'blazing sun' as it doesn't add to the scene you're painting, only describes what it was like before.) but I think it would be worth it.
Comment Written 23-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
May they haunt in peace. Easy to follow story line. Smoothly flowing action. Descriptively well written little tale of terror going on here.
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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May they haunt in peace. Easy to follow story line. Smoothly flowing action. Descriptively well written little tale of terror going on here.
Comment Written 23-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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thanks for reviewing.
Comment from lancellot
This is certainly interesting. A tale about Norse Gods and death. A secret pact, and a long wait. It is filled with mystery. The resolution and the contest calls for has to be imagined somewhat. I don't think 100 words is enough. You did good. Well done.
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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This is certainly interesting. A tale about Norse Gods and death. A secret pact, and a long wait. It is filled with mystery. The resolution and the contest calls for has to be imagined somewhat. I don't think 100 words is enough. You did good. Well done.
Comment Written 22-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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thank you for reviewing.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
This is a very atmospheric piece of descriptive writing.
For me, though, and this is just my opinion, it didn't feel like a complete story. I know the word count is tight but it didn't feel complete to me.
Good writing though.
GMG
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Hi there,
This is a very atmospheric piece of descriptive writing.
For me, though, and this is just my opinion, it didn't feel like a complete story. I know the word count is tight but it didn't feel complete to me.
Good writing though.
GMG
Comment Written 22-May-2015
reply by the author on 31-May-2015
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from dmt1967
This is a very spooky story. The picture helped with the atmosphere and the video helped with the rest. I am glad I read this with the sun shinning lol. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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This is a very spooky story. The picture helped with the atmosphere and the video helped with the rest. I am glad I read this with the sun shinning lol. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 21-May-2015
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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Ha ha. thanks for the geat review.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Wonderfully written, Anonymous Author. Such eloquent imagery abounds in this write, it nearly reads like poetry. No words are wasted here with phrases such as, iridescent glow, crumbling mausoleum, eternity overshadowed, and my favorite of all, The cemetery breathed its silence into the night... Now, Oden's destiny will be fulfilled at long last, and he can once again be at peace.
Great story, and best of luck to you in the contest. ~Dean
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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Wonderfully written, Anonymous Author. Such eloquent imagery abounds in this write, it nearly reads like poetry. No words are wasted here with phrases such as, iridescent glow, crumbling mausoleum, eternity overshadowed, and my favorite of all, The cemetery breathed its silence into the night... Now, Oden's destiny will be fulfilled at long last, and he can once again be at peace.
Great story, and best of luck to you in the contest. ~Dean
Comment Written 20-May-2015
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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Thanks for the great review. Glad you liked it.
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I did, very much. And you are very welcome. :)
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Love the artwork and love this 100 word horror story with the iron door and the green slime oozing. Great ending line -
Surrendering he entered the crypt.
Good luck in the contest, great read.
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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Love the artwork and love this 100 word horror story with the iron door and the green slime oozing. Great ending line -
Surrendering he entered the crypt.
Good luck in the contest, great read.
Comment Written 20-May-2015
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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Thank you for the kind review. Glad you liked it.
Comment from Gunner Lil
A very good beginning of a great story. The painted a great picture with the few
words that you were able to use.
An easy read and had the reader wanting more.
Thank you and good luck.
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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A very good beginning of a great story. The painted a great picture with the few
words that you were able to use.
An easy read and had the reader wanting more.
Thank you and good luck.
Comment Written 20-May-2015
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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thanks for reviewing. glad you liked it.
