Comment from Adri7enne

Exceptional

"I'll just have to keep you QUITE for a day or so." QUIET.

Ess and Shades are in the grip of the bad guys, Whitmarsh and he can just 'magic' people into believing he's right. A scary anti-hero, with no qualms about lying and using fairy dust to his advantage. A good twist, Snod. I'm still with you.

 Comment Written 19-May-2015

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reply by the author on 19-May-2015

Oops, thanks for that. I hope I'm still with me. A couple of knotty logistics to get over in the next couple of installments, and time to write is difficult, but I'll see what i can do

Comment from jim lawler

Excellent

Your story reads well but moves rather slowly. It is nicely written and the dialogue is believable. Your characters are also believable and speak with everyday language. I didn't spot any typos and it needs no revision. I enjoyed it and I should mention that for me it';s difficult to accurately critique a work by reading just one chapter. Good luck and God bless. Jim

 Comment Written 19-May-2015

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reply by the author on 19-May-2015

Thank you

reply by jim lawler on 19-May-2015

Your very welcome! God bless! Jim

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Easy to follow story line. Action flows smoothly throughout the telling of this little tale. Descriptive language well used.

 Comment Written 19-May-2015

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reply by the author on 19-May-2015

Thanks you.