Littoral
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Gale Warning"Poems about the coastline
22 total reviews
Comment from benoenose
A tragic scene expressed with the marine life makes us aware of changes that are unpredictable. Take away our belongings and loved ones. However, the poetic expression make silly the weather station with the Gale. So severe is the nature furry. Recommended for natural calamities and rescue efforts.
reply by the author on 20-May-2015
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A tragic scene expressed with the marine life makes us aware of changes that are unpredictable. Take away our belongings and loved ones. However, the poetic expression make silly the weather station with the Gale. So severe is the nature furry. Recommended for natural calamities and rescue efforts.
Comment Written 20-May-2015
reply by the author on 20-May-2015
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Thank you for this review. I am most grateful.
Comment from dmt1967
This poem made me think of a fishing boat being battened down because a storm is brewing. The waves covering it and picking it up and dashing it onto the rocks. Great visualizing poem. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-May-2015
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This poem made me think of a fishing boat being battened down because a storm is brewing. The waves covering it and picking it up and dashing it onto the rocks. Great visualizing poem. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 20-May-2015
reply by the author on 20-May-2015
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If it has such imagery I must be doing something right. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is an interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is a wonderful story of the sea and seafarers. This sparks the imagination. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-May-2015
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This is an interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is a wonderful story of the sea and seafarers. This sparks the imagination. Well done.
Comment Written 20-May-2015
reply by the author on 20-May-2015
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Thanks for the compliment and for reading and reviewing.
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No problem
Comment from inside echo
I do not feel qualified to review a poem of this caliber. I have read and reread this poem many times, even going as far as reading other reviews, to try and gain understanding. I like it very much. It is complicated as I am neither sure of this style of poetry and I am not at all familiar with a vessel at see during a storm. I am also not familiar with the history of the roles and encounters such a ship may encounter. I see that you changed a word in your poem. I think it works very well.
Well done, all the way around. Thank you for sharing your beautiful art.
echo
reply by the author on 20-May-2015
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I do not feel qualified to review a poem of this caliber. I have read and reread this poem many times, even going as far as reading other reviews, to try and gain understanding. I like it very much. It is complicated as I am neither sure of this style of poetry and I am not at all familiar with a vessel at see during a storm. I am also not familiar with the history of the roles and encounters such a ship may encounter. I see that you changed a word in your poem. I think it works very well.
Well done, all the way around. Thank you for sharing your beautiful art.
echo
Comment Written 20-May-2015
reply by the author on 20-May-2015
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Thank you for this review. You are too modest. You know well that I changed the word on your advice for which I thank you. Several people have commented on that line being not quite as it should be. Thanks to you I believe We've got it sorted.
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You are most welcome.
Comment from kriver
Hi Royal Marine,
This story poem flows quite well.
I had no idea what a villanelle poem even was. Good thing you explained it. I also didn't know about the feminine male thing in poetry. What is that all about?
Semper Fi
K River
reply by the author on 19-May-2015
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Hi Royal Marine,
This story poem flows quite well.
I had no idea what a villanelle poem even was. Good thing you explained it. I also didn't know about the feminine male thing in poetry. What is that all about?
Semper Fi
K River
Comment Written 19-May-2015
reply by the author on 19-May-2015
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Masculine rhyme is single syllable on the last beat of the rhythm like: A big bang then a a loud clang. Feminine rhyme is polysyllabic with the actual rhyming stress on the penultimate syllable: Dawn is breaking my legs shaking. Does that make it any clearer? Masculine to feminine doesn't work very well: Dawn is breaking said the king because the natural srtress is on the vbreak in thev first part and on the ing in the second. Look I'm sorry about this. I suffered a bereavement today and you have no idea how good it is for me to immerse myself in this right now. But I'm probably not making much sense. If you want to know more send me a PM and I'll try and explain.
Comment from Bill Schott
This villanelle, Gale Warning, has taught me things I didn't know about villanelles. The eleven, 7 syllable thing is news to me. Good storyline of sea and storm.
reply by the author on 19-May-2015
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This villanelle, Gale Warning, has taught me things I didn't know about villanelles. The eleven, 7 syllable thing is news to me. Good storyline of sea and storm.
Comment Written 19-May-2015
reply by the author on 19-May-2015
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Hey Bill as a teacher you'll like this. Your first sentence reminded me of the little girl reviewing a book who wrote: This book taught me more about penguins than I really wanted to know!. Thanks for the review Bill . Sorry if I'm a bit disjointed. Suffered a bereaveme.nt today and the best way of getting over it is to throw myself into this sort of thing
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day mate, this is another beautifully written chapter, I really like this form but I don't think I'll ever be skilled enough to write it. I reckon one of the scariest things would be to be on the ocean during a typhoon or cyclone, that'll test the mettle I bet. Well done my friend, cheers Fez
reply by the author on 19-May-2015
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G'day mate, this is another beautifully written chapter, I really like this form but I don't think I'll ever be skilled enough to write it. I reckon one of the scariest things would be to be on the ocean during a typhoon or cyclone, that'll test the mettle I bet. Well done my friend, cheers Fez
Comment Written 19-May-2015
reply by the author on 19-May-2015
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Thank you for the compliments once again. Coming up shortly a piece about lifeboat rescues, should whet your appetite for going to sea in stormy weather!
Comment from Chrissy710
I liked this and thought the rhyming was perfect. While reading this while each verse had required elements it almost sung itself and I found it told the warning of the high winds etc and also explained what a boatswain does. Good poem
reply by the author on 19-May-2015
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I liked this and thought the rhyming was perfect. While reading this while each verse had required elements it almost sung itself and I found it told the warning of the high winds etc and also explained what a boatswain does. Good poem
Comment Written 19-May-2015
reply by the author on 19-May-2015
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Thank you for reading and reviewing this work. So glad you enjoyed it. I'm sure you'll find knowledge of the boatswain's job incredibly useful! lol
Comment from Gloria ....
Aha, so here's where your villainess is. I've decided to call these villainesses because they're so hard to do, but you PG have done a terrific job. You've even got the double rhyme which is something that I am terribly ashamed to publicly admit to even to this day, missed in mine. Thank goodness there are good people in the know on site, such as you, who thought it best to tell me and for that I am forever grateful.
Exceptional poetry as always my friend. And of course I'm always found a feminine endings given that I am of the female gender so I like the soft ending.
Perfectly executed as always, so keep them great coming.
Gloria
reply by the author on 19-May-2015
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Aha, so here's where your villainess is. I've decided to call these villainesses because they're so hard to do, but you PG have done a terrific job. You've even got the double rhyme which is something that I am terribly ashamed to publicly admit to even to this day, missed in mine. Thank goodness there are good people in the know on site, such as you, who thought it best to tell me and for that I am forever grateful.
Exceptional poetry as always my friend. And of course I'm always found a feminine endings given that I am of the female gender so I like the soft ending.
Perfectly executed as always, so keep them great coming.
Gloria
Comment Written 19-May-2015
reply by the author on 19-May-2015
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Oh Gloria! What a wonderful review to wake up to. I have always liked feminine endings because I've always liked girls! It's great fun trying to get as many syllables as possible to rhyme. Anything you want to know ...ask. If I know the answer I'll tell you but I don't know it all not by a long chalk! Very many thanks for this.
Comment from w.j.debi
You have done an excellent job with the villanelle. I had to check it out after you mentioned you were posting one. You don't see them that often on FS.
You were certainly up to the challenge. The end rhymes are well chosen and fit perfectly into the story. Your expert use of enjambment carries the story forward and make it flow smoothly. I love the story of the expert sailors besting the elements and making it to safe harbor.
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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You have done an excellent job with the villanelle. I had to check it out after you mentioned you were posting one. You don't see them that often on FS.
You were certainly up to the challenge. The end rhymes are well chosen and fit perfectly into the story. Your expert use of enjambment carries the story forward and make it flow smoothly. I love the story of the expert sailors besting the elements and making it to safe harbor.
Comment Written 18-May-2015
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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Thank you for a great review. Pericularly for picking up on the enjambement. I have to admit I was quite proud of that. It sort of slipped into place given the repeat lines I had selected.
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You have every right to be proud. You handled it beautifully.
