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Viewing comments for Chapter 35 " Felix"These are fictional character sketches.
12 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
Oh man, Bill this is great fun. You really know how to create some highly original and entertaining poetry. Deep too! Perfect rhymes especially the creative senten and excellent rhythm.
Super job with this poem.
Gloria
reply by the author on 13-May-2015
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Oh man, Bill this is great fun. You really know how to create some highly original and entertaining poetry. Deep too! Perfect rhymes especially the creative senten and excellent rhythm.
Super job with this poem.
Gloria
Comment Written 12-May-2015
reply by the author on 13-May-2015
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Thank you, Gloria, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from costellsgirl33
This is hilarious and very creative! My favorite line is when Felix ate a pretend jar of jelly. That made me laugh so hard. I really needed that. This has not been the best day!
Great job as always and thanks for the laughs
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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This is hilarious and very creative! My favorite line is when Felix ate a pretend jar of jelly. That made me laugh so hard. I really needed that. This has not been the best day!
Great job as always and thanks for the laughs
Comment Written 11-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you, Arnetta. I hope your day is better. Bill
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You're welcome, Bill! And it is somewhat better. I hope you had a great day.
Arnetta
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You're welcome, Bill! And it is somewhat better. I hope you had a great day.
Arnetta
Comment from Dawn Munro
Hhahaha - that first stanza - I can so easily see Felix Felix Finderelli pretending to eat the whole jar of jelly. What a fun poem! Highly original, I think, and his father learning to cook while incarcerated was priceless! Well done. (I'm still grinning.)
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Hhahaha - that first stanza - I can so easily see Felix Felix Finderelli pretending to eat the whole jar of jelly. What a fun poem! Highly original, I think, and his father learning to cook while incarcerated was priceless! Well done. (I'm still grinning.)
Comment Written 11-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you, Dawn, for the enthusiastic review. Bill
Comment from Jay Squires
Geez, Bill, what a fertile imagination you have. I keep going back to the first stanza: Of course! Who but a mime would eat a jar of pretend jelly?
And your crafty illegality in choosing to cut short "sentence" to rhyme with Quentin.
I wonder though about the use of "when" instead of "while" in San Quentin. I know that stanza "liked" the "en" sounds, but I think there are enough with the others--but there's nothing egregious about your choice.
You make it difficult to get past the week-end with any 6's left.
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Geez, Bill, what a fertile imagination you have. I keep going back to the first stanza: Of course! Who but a mime would eat a jar of pretend jelly?
And your crafty illegality in choosing to cut short "sentence" to rhyme with Quentin.
I wonder though about the use of "when" instead of "while" in San Quentin. I know that stanza "liked" the "en" sounds, but I think there are enough with the others--but there's nothing egregious about your choice.
You make it difficult to get past the week-end with any 6's left.
Comment Written 11-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you, Jay, for the terrific review. I like these little, silly poems because they're short enough to look for continuity while balancing my check book. The phrase 'pretend jelly' started out as ginger jelly. I changed it to complement the scene. The word 'senten' was a gamble, hoping readers would get it. Using 'when' instead of while in the center was a yes-no-yes-no choice right to the end. Deeply appreciate the positive review and high rating. Bill
Comment from jennifdrake
You know I am a fan, Bill, and have enjoyed reading your latest work. I love the rhythm and the sing-song effect of this one. It's a welcome change to review a different style and I think it works well. Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
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You know I am a fan, Bill, and have enjoyed reading your latest work. I love the rhythm and the sing-song effect of this one. It's a welcome change to review a different style and I think it works well. Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
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Thank you, Jennifer, for this kind and encouraging review. Bill
Comment from RodG
Although this sounds like little more than a sophisticated limerick, it is interesting as well as amusing. I like how we meet a father-son team that now work together. We learn Felix is a mime; his father a baker.
Some surprisingly good rhymes here, especially in stanza 2.
You made me chuckle, Bill, on a cold, damp day. Thanks!
Rod
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
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Although this sounds like little more than a sophisticated limerick, it is interesting as well as amusing. I like how we meet a father-son team that now work together. We learn Felix is a mime; his father a baker.
Some surprisingly good rhymes here, especially in stanza 2.
You made me chuckle, Bill, on a cold, damp day. Thanks!
Rod
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
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Thank you, Rod, for this kind and encouraging review. Bill
Comment from Mary H-W
You are hilarious!
A most enjoyable funny read. I'll bet you had fun writing it.
You caught me by surprise, but I have no misgivings with this.
Don't change a word, pls :-)
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
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You are hilarious!
A most enjoyable funny read. I'll bet you had fun writing it.
You caught me by surprise, but I have no misgivings with this.
Don't change a word, pls :-)
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
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Thank you, Mary, for the encouraging review. Bill
Comment from Dean Kuch
Dolly's Eats... I think I been there a time or two...
Yeah! Now I remember... Felix Felix Finderelli...tall, gangly fella, had a big mole on his right cheek. He was always a quiet sort of fella, never said much...kinda pale...
Great stuff here, Bill. Very fun to read. :)
~Dean
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
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Dolly's Eats... I think I been there a time or two...
Yeah! Now I remember... Felix Felix Finderelli...tall, gangly fella, had a big mole on his right cheek. He was always a quiet sort of fella, never said much...kinda pale...
Great stuff here, Bill. Very fun to read. :)
~Dean
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
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Thanks for giving this a look, Dean. Last time I saw Felix he was trapped in a box.
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Anytime, Bill...
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Very funny! Now they both can say they are truly enjoying life. Flows smoothly and holds reader's interest throughout. Write on.
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
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Very funny! Now they both can say they are truly enjoying life. Flows smoothly and holds reader's interest throughout. Write on.
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
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Thank you, Brett, for giving this a look.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Bill,
This was a very amusing distraction.
I particularly like the second verse and the 'illegal' rhyming. Made me chuckle.
Nice one
GMG
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
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Hi Bill,
This was a very amusing distraction.
I particularly like the second verse and the 'illegal' rhyming. Made me chuckle.
Nice one
GMG
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
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Thanks, GMG, for the kind review.
