A Semi-Colonoscopy
Poem written by Feral from Malanda and davisr. A bit of fun60 total reviews
Comment from Nosha17
You must have had fun writing this, very cute poem. It seems to a lot of people that punctuation and grammar are big bugbears. I enjoy them immensely, being a language fanatic, grammarian, editor, I eat, sleep and drink language. Your rhyming was excellent, good dose of humour and tongue in cheek wit. Most enjoyable. faye
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
  |
You must have had fun writing this, very cute poem. It seems to a lot of people that punctuation and grammar are big bugbears. I enjoy them immensely, being a language fanatic, grammarian, editor, I eat, sleep and drink language. Your rhyming was excellent, good dose of humour and tongue in cheek wit. Most enjoyable. faye
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
-
Thank you so much, Faye. I completely honor your advice and review. I owe it all to Feral, who is the master in this pair of poets!
Rhonda
Comment from Autumn Splendour
This is so hilarious! Feral you are at your best when you write fun poetry. Kudos to Rhonda too. Great writing.
Just a comment:
...my face became a frowjn.
Is this deliberate or should it be frown?
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
 |
This is so hilarious! Feral you are at your best when you write fun poetry. Kudos to Rhonda too. Great writing.
Just a comment:
...my face became a frowjn.
Is this deliberate or should it be frown?
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
-
Thank you so much for the great 6 star review. How exciting to get so generous a review. I agree, Feral is one of the funniest poets ever, and I am so honored to be a part of this project. Again, thanks for the awesome review!
Rhonda
Comment from robina1978
The drawing is beautiful and complements your poem very well. It is a funny poem. I have not met you before but I notice Fez's influence. The semi-colostomy was because your rhyme and meter were not right. I think they are.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
|
The drawing is beautiful and complements your poem very well. It is a funny poem. I have not met you before but I notice Fez's influence. The semi-colostomy was because your rhyme and meter were not right. I think they are.
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
-
I have been following Fez's poetry and we happened to have a discussion on my use of a semi-colon when I needed a comma, so we decided to write a poem about it. I was a bit intimidated to write with him, but had a lot of fun doing it! Thanks for the review,
Rhonda
Comment from costellsgirl33
Your poem is hilarious and I really enjoyed it. It's a nice read to get the morning going. It had a great flow to it and it was like a little story really.
At the end I guess your point was, or atleast what I think is, your writing has been good all along.
Very nice
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
|
Your poem is hilarious and I really enjoyed it. It's a nice read to get the morning going. It had a great flow to it and it was like a little story really.
At the end I guess your point was, or atleast what I think is, your writing has been good all along.
Very nice
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
-
Thanks for the review, and I think the point is that we often worry too much about how others will percieve our work. I don't think Fez does too much, he has such an easy and natural style, but as artists, we are mostly a pretty insecure lot. Glad you enjoyed it, I had fun with the project!
Rhonda
-
Hello Rhonda,
You are very welcome! I to think we worry too much about what others think about our work......some not so much...lol
Have a great day!
Arnetta
-
Hello Rhonda,
You are very welcome! I to think we worry too much about what others think about our work......some not so much...lol
Have a great day!
Arnetta
Comment from Lindy Nards
waooo great, I have exhausted my six star rating before I got here, well this could be the cause ( semi-colonoscopy) Laughs. It was a nice educating piece. Believing in one's self is a great asset, otherwise you wouldn't need this semi-colonoscopy.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
|
waooo great, I have exhausted my six star rating before I got here, well this could be the cause ( semi-colonoscopy) Laughs. It was a nice educating piece. Believing in one's self is a great asset, otherwise you wouldn't need this semi-colonoscopy.
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
-
Thank you for the vote of confidence, Lindy, it was a fun project and I'm glad we did it. I really enjoy following Feral's work and am so honored to be a part of this poem with him.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from patcelaw
Fun write and fun read. I enjoyed this and I know little about semi colon or colon. I will leave that to the English professors, as long as people understand what I write I don't need a semi-colonoscopy
my face became a frow(j)n, get rid of the j
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
|
Fun write and fun read. I enjoyed this and I know little about semi colon or colon. I will leave that to the English professors, as long as people understand what I write I don't need a semi-colonoscopy
my face became a frow(j)n, get rid of the j
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
-
I thought I already fixed the J, but will go back and look again. I might have forgotten to "save".
I'm with you, I have a lot of trouble with grammar, too. Feral has such a wonderful attitude about his work and is quite humble! Thanks for the review,
Rhonda
Comment from mfowler
Hi Rhonda
Your poem is based around a terrific idea which should appeal to FS writers who continually have their work semi-colonoscopised (made up LOL) on site. You work the verses very well on this ultimately sad journey as the expensive doctor seeks to correct what is ultimately right in the first place. The humour permeates the process and while there is an overriding gag about the semi-colonoscopy, there's humour in the detail as well. Good fun, well executed.
SPAG
and lets do it correct...let's
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
|
Hi Rhonda
Your poem is based around a terrific idea which should appeal to FS writers who continually have their work semi-colonoscopised (made up LOL) on site. You work the verses very well on this ultimately sad journey as the expensive doctor seeks to correct what is ultimately right in the first place. The humour permeates the process and while there is an overriding gag about the semi-colonoscopy, there's humour in the detail as well. Good fun, well executed.
SPAG
and lets do it correct...let's
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
-
Ok, thanks on the correction, and a wonderful thanks on the review! You can tell who the master was on this. He let me come along for the ride!
Rhonda
-
Feral is a funny man. And he's a very friendly one to go with it; quite unique.
-
Yes he is, and I've had a lot of fun with this project!
Rhonda
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Several typos in this you may want to fix:
Verse 2 "flipin'" should be "flippin'"
Verse 3 a comma after "two"
Verse 4 "Pray" the "P" should be lower case
Verses fit well together. Action flows smoothly. A Semi-Colonoscopy indeed. That's funny!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
|
Several typos in this you may want to fix:
Verse 2 "flipin'" should be "flippin'"
Verse 3 a comma after "two"
Verse 4 "Pray" the "P" should be lower case
Verses fit well together. Action flows smoothly. A Semi-Colonoscopy indeed. That's funny!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
-
Thanks for the review and pointers! Extra eyes pay off!
Rhonda
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Fez and Rhonda: What a terrific poem that you wrote together. I like the freedom of the poem for free, be, see to write and express yourself. The doctor got the money instead of your wife. Maybe, find a writer who thinks like you as you did Fez.
I went to a writer's class and the lady didn't care about my poems, just wanted a buck or hundred to read. I have learned far more on FS.
You both are wise writers with humor, beat, rhyme and alliteration, not prose, beautiful poetry that you share. Well done, team mates! flylikeaneagle - nancy
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
|
Fez and Rhonda: What a terrific poem that you wrote together. I like the freedom of the poem for free, be, see to write and express yourself. The doctor got the money instead of your wife. Maybe, find a writer who thinks like you as you did Fez.
I went to a writer's class and the lady didn't care about my poems, just wanted a buck or hundred to read. I have learned far more on FS.
You both are wise writers with humor, beat, rhyme and alliteration, not prose, beautiful poetry that you share. Well done, team mates! flylikeaneagle - nancy
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
-
Thanks so much for the great six star review and wonderful comments.
I, too, have learned more and gotten better editing than I ever did on my own. We had a lot of fun writing this as I'm sure you could tell.
Thanks, again,
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
Well done Rhonda, I thought it was very much like Fez's style but you did well too, he's a good raconteur, a friendly guy is Fez. This up is a very fun poem, the semi colonoscopy was ver witty and clever at the same time! I thought Tempo/meter was nice and even, the aabb rhyming another feature, well done, my friend, blessings, Roy.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
|
Well done Rhonda, I thought it was very much like Fez's style but you did well too, he's a good raconteur, a friendly guy is Fez. This up is a very fun poem, the semi colonoscopy was ver witty and clever at the same time! I thought Tempo/meter was nice and even, the aabb rhyming another feature, well done, my friend, blessings, Roy.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
-
Thanks, Roy. We had fun with this, and the term "Semi-Colonoscopy" was actually coined by him. I should put that in the poem.
Again, thanks
Rhonda
-
Well done, Rhonda
