The Curse of 'Gator Bayou
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Chapter 4 Leaving the Bayou"A young Cajun girl struggles to survive.
7 total reviews
Comment from padumachitta
Hi. I enjoyed this story. It was entertaining and kept me looking for a happy ending.. I am a little rusty at reviewing so can't say I am good looking for SPAG, sorry.
thanks,
padumachitta
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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Hi. I enjoyed this story. It was entertaining and kept me looking for a happy ending.. I am a little rusty at reviewing so can't say I am good looking for SPAG, sorry.
thanks,
padumachitta
Comment Written 08-May-2015
reply by the author on 08-May-2015
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Thanks padumachitta for the great review. I am glad you enjoyed the story. Keep reading more chapters to go before "the happy ending." :o)
Jo
Comment from abbasjoy
This is a very interesting chapter. While there is sadness because of the poverty, and therefore the poor conditions this family had to live under in order to survive, there is still an underlying happiness after all, because they have each other.
Marie is very enterprising as well as courageous. In her naivety, she really hasn't a clue what she is going to face when she gets to the big city, but she is still willing to try, because her family needs help.
Great story. Looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 07-May-2015
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This is a very interesting chapter. While there is sadness because of the poverty, and therefore the poor conditions this family had to live under in order to survive, there is still an underlying happiness after all, because they have each other.
Marie is very enterprising as well as courageous. In her naivety, she really hasn't a clue what she is going to face when she gets to the big city, but she is still willing to try, because her family needs help.
Great story. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 07-May-2015
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Abbasjoy, you have really "gotten" what I wanted to get across in this chapter. Thank you for reading and commenting.
Jo
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You are so welcome.
Joan
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Very familiar with the Cajun lifestyle and the bayous, especially of Louisiana. Action flows smoothly. Easy to follow story line. Write on.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Very familiar with the Cajun lifestyle and the bayous, especially of Louisiana. Action flows smoothly. Easy to follow story line. Write on.
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Thanks Brett for the review and encouragement.
Jo
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Jo. That is a great chapter mate. I would love to spend time out there catching those animals and what they did catch sounds mighty yummy to this old feral. I have made a couple of suggestions and there are two or three more that I notice, but I wasn't sure if they were in the local dialect as grammar or not, maily just an "e" left off here and there. Let me know for future reference please. Well done, Cheers Fez
"Sarah couldn't blame the little ones from(for) being frightened of their long lost aunt."
"I thought I'd go to New Orleans and git a job and send home som(e) money to help you and the kids out."
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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G'day Jo. That is a great chapter mate. I would love to spend time out there catching those animals and what they did catch sounds mighty yummy to this old feral. I have made a couple of suggestions and there are two or three more that I notice, but I wasn't sure if they were in the local dialect as grammar or not, maily just an "e" left off here and there. Let me know for future reference please. Well done, Cheers Fez
"Sarah couldn't blame the little ones from(for) being frightened of their long lost aunt."
"I thought I'd go to New Orleans and git a job and send home som(e) money to help you and the kids out."
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Thanks Feral for spotting my typo's. I'll go back and fix. Yes, sometimes, the e's are left off for dialect. I love everything about Louisiana. Especially the people and their language, food, homes...well everything. If I wasn't married to a Texas man I would be living there now. :o)
Jo
Comment from royowen
I have a real liking for your story, about really simple folk, living in the Bayou, struggling to make ends meet. Marie, who killed her father was let off by a compassionate sherif, trying to eke out an existence, decides she might head out for New Orleans to get a job and send home money to her struggling Mama! Well done, great characters and story structure, the dialogue is great, and the storyline well written and absorbing, able too be read in single episodes, well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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I have a real liking for your story, about really simple folk, living in the Bayou, struggling to make ends meet. Marie, who killed her father was let off by a compassionate sherif, trying to eke out an existence, decides she might head out for New Orleans to get a job and send home money to her struggling Mama! Well done, great characters and story structure, the dialogue is great, and the storyline well written and absorbing, able too be read in single episodes, well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Roy, I'm glad you are liking my story. I'm trying very hard to keep it real and enjoyable.
Jo
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My pleasure
Comment from Misrael
This has bee a very sad story and gruesome. But I hope that things get better for Marie and her family. Good read and keep o writing. P.S. It is rather awkward using the name Marie as that is my first name. But it is kind of cool. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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This has bee a very sad story and gruesome. But I hope that things get better for Marie and her family. Good read and keep o writing. P.S. It is rather awkward using the name Marie as that is my first name. But it is kind of cool. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Marie, it's a good name. I chose it for my main character due to her Catholic upbringing and because I just like the name. Sorry, you are finding my story so gruesome. Keep reading...it will get more gruesome...but there is light at the end.
Jo
Comment from Wabigoon
Jo--
I confess I feel more lost in the story now than I did after the last part I read. It's a "good" lost, mind you, but lost just the same. I don't know how the Terrebonne's fit in here yet.
Despite that this is a vividly written chapter that half makes me wish I could go fish for gators.
Okay, I think the first paragraph could be divided in half -- it is exceptionally long.
Word order in this sentence troubled me:
had discovered the Terrebonne horrible family secrets. Why not "horrible Terrebonne family secrets?"
I noted this but see it is part of the lingo you're trying to recreate so ignore it:
home (som) money to help you
Good job, glad I read it.
Wabigoon
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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Jo--
I confess I feel more lost in the story now than I did after the last part I read. It's a "good" lost, mind you, but lost just the same. I don't know how the Terrebonne's fit in here yet.
Despite that this is a vividly written chapter that half makes me wish I could go fish for gators.
Okay, I think the first paragraph could be divided in half -- it is exceptionally long.
Word order in this sentence troubled me:
had discovered the Terrebonne horrible family secrets. Why not "horrible Terrebonne family secrets?"
I noted this but see it is part of the lingo you're trying to recreate so ignore it:
home (som) money to help you
Good job, glad I read it.
Wabigoon
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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I hope you keep reading Wabigoon. I will tie it all together soon. Good suggestions for improvement. I'll go back and do some splitting of first paragraph. I, too, felt it long. You just helped me see what I needed to do. Thanks for the help.
Jo
