Reviews from

A New Beginning

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Ready For Action"
The girls leave their chat line days behind.

18 total reviews 
Comment from wordsfromsue
Excellent
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I have a feeling break a leg might prove to be a poor choice of words!

Good, informative chapter. Giving us images of the place where the three ladies have spent so much time.

They sound so much more detail oriented than I can ever hope to be!

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 06-Jul-2015
    I think it's a saying I would never use, just for that reason! Apologies again for the lateness in replying, Sue. I can't keep up with you! Alexis xxx
Comment from Cindy Warren
Excellent
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Great descriptions of the new hotel. I can really picture it. Don't you think the last line gives away too much too soon? I'd leave it out if I were you.

 Comment Written 07-May-2015


reply by the author on 08-May-2015
    You're absolutely right, and I've removed it. I just put it there as a tease in the hope it would make readers of the second chapter, carry on to the next. I hope you enjoy it! Alexis x
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Excellent
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Hopefully she did. the right way. Story line easy to follow. Action flows smoothly. Descriptive language well used and holds reader's interest. Write on.

 Comment Written 06-May-2015


reply by the author on 07-May-2015
    Thank you, Brett. A lot of the book is based on my experience when I ran a twenty-five bedroom hotel with my late husband--sometimes with hilarious results. Laura's character gives me the chance to relive it again! Alexis x
Comment from Glasstruth
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Reading your well detailed descriptions of the Hotel, that's also a restaurant has me realize the difficulty in getting something like this organized. The money involved is what I thought about. Not a cheap adventure, but for the three to pull this off is just amazing. Your writing is flawless. Even though there's no real action, or crisis I wasn't bored at all. Great job! Les

 Comment Written 06-May-2015


reply by the author on 07-May-2015
    I'm fortunate in that I ran a twenty-five bedroom hotel with my late husband after we refurbished it, so I can now relive the experience through Laura's eyes. I'd forgotten how many funny things happened, so here they come! Thank you for the wonderful six, I know how precious they are. Alexis x
Comment from Walu Feral
Excellent
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G'day Alexis. Righto! Now I'm excited, all stations are go Sir! That is a great way to start with the descriptions of the Bedford and all the new stuff. Wonderful stuff mate. Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 06-May-2015


reply by the author on 07-May-2015
    I'm glad you enjoyed it, Fez. Baton down the hatches--this is going to be rocky ride! Alexis x
Comment from jpduck
Excellent
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This is, inevitably, a less interesting chapter than usual, but I think you are right to include a detailed description of the hotel; it gives the picture in which readers can set the action to come. At least you managed a small amount of dialogue at the end.

Typos & SPAGs (* *=insert; [ ]=delete):

'all the sheer dogged determination she, Karen and Jenny had *put in* to change the Bedford into a first class, bijoux hotel, had at last paid off'

'The old*,* built-in, veneered reception desk'

' The original oak*-*panelled bar'

'was replaced with informal*,* upholstered armchairs and stools'

'Time for action stations, me thinks,' ('me thinks' should be one word 'methinks')


Adrian

 Comment Written 06-May-2015


reply by the author on 07-May-2015
    You are an inspiration, Adrian. Funnily enough, I did have 'put in' in that sentence originally, then took it out. It just shows you, gut instinct is sometimes best! Everything now corrected. Thank you! Alexis x
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Oh, no. That last sentence scares me! Don't tell me Karen will break her leg! Or some part of her... LOL! Otherwise, it looks like they're off to a successful start. :)

 Comment Written 06-May-2015


reply by the author on 07-May-2015
    At this point it's uncertain, but we'll find out when she gets back from the hospital! Alexis x
reply by Phyllis Stewart on 07-May-2015
    How about they amputate and give her a wooden leg? That'd be fun. :)
reply by the author on 07-May-2015
    Lol! You've been spending too much time with Luke!
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent
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You do well the part I hate most about writing--describing the interior of a setting. I have to find a magazine picture and go from there. LOL
Good ending with the idea planted that someone will literally break a leg!

 Comment Written 05-May-2015


reply by the author on 06-May-2015
    Without giving too much away, let's just say disaster strikes where least expected. I've introduced a new character who is based on a Polish chef I employed a few years ago. The language problems created some hilarious situations, although his culinary skills were superb! Alexis x
Comment from Drew Delaney
Excellent
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could be opened up to - delete the word 'up'

Very good, Alexis. Well written. I think some of the sentences could be shortened, though. Just a thought.
There's no time to breathe. LOL

Have fun writing. Drew xx

 Comment Written 05-May-2015


reply by the author on 06-May-2015
    Thank you, Drew! I've just read your latest chapter, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Sounds like you're as busy as ever, so I appreciate it when you get the time to review. Alexis xxx
Comment from joann r romei
Excellent
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this was exciting, it must be fun to have something like this, think of all the men they will meet, love the line, baby without contractions, like adoption.

 Comment Written 05-May-2015


reply by the author on 06-May-2015
    Good point! Yes, it's fun doing up a hotel, I did it myself a few years ago, and remember it well. Thank you for joining me and the girls on their latest journey. It's going to get rocky at times! Alexis xxx