A New Beginning
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The girls are back!"The girls leave their chat line days behind.
31 total reviews
Comment from Fridayauthor
This was nicely written. It's difficult to get out this much information without sounding confusing or boring but you did it and did it very well.
This opening chapter flows along. The dialog helps too.
Nice chapter, well done!
Thank you!
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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This was nicely written. It's difficult to get out this much information without sounding confusing or boring but you did it and did it very well.
This opening chapter flows along. The dialog helps too.
Nice chapter, well done!
Thank you!
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Thank you so much for your review and great rating. I hope your introduction to The Bedford and my three very 'different' ladies will entice you to read more. Alexis x
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
So good to read everything on a
happier note for the girls - and
Mark seems to have turned out quite
the lover - his Mr Stiffy seems in
full swing to Karen's delight.
Margaret
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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So good to read everything on a
happier note for the girls - and
Mark seems to have turned out quite
the lover - his Mr Stiffy seems in
full swing to Karen's delight.
Margaret
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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It's lovely to have them all back together. I have to admit to suffering from withdrawal symptoms when the girls weren't here. How sad is that! Alexis x
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Alexis. Wow I am glad the girls are back, but shattered about Jenny and that stupid cat! Call Feral the Feral exterminator to fix it! As far as Laura goes, it's a bit sad about Jack, but she doesn't deserve to be second best and now she will be busy with the Hotel anyway. But you never know what the future holds, never say never! Now to Karen, she was the one who I thought would be alone forever, shows you how much I can read the play LOL. I still wouldn't have taken Mark back, but it's her choice so I'll keep out of it. Crikey listen to me and my comentary...I don't read books remember? LOL. Great work and welcome back, cheers Fez
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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G'day Alexis. Wow I am glad the girls are back, but shattered about Jenny and that stupid cat! Call Feral the Feral exterminator to fix it! As far as Laura goes, it's a bit sad about Jack, but she doesn't deserve to be second best and now she will be busy with the Hotel anyway. But you never know what the future holds, never say never! Now to Karen, she was the one who I thought would be alone forever, shows you how much I can read the play LOL. I still wouldn't have taken Mark back, but it's her choice so I'll keep out of it. Crikey listen to me and my comentary...I don't read books remember? LOL. Great work and welcome back, cheers Fez
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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I didn't think you'd be pleased about Karen getting back with Mark, but I thought I'd give the guy a break. I've got a whole book to make his life hell again, don't worry! Alexis xxx
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Hahahaha! Maybe he could come across a great big fat python that had escaped from our camp in the outback and got stuck in a crate that was shipbound for the bedford and got delivered to his house and he thought he's have a peak LOL.
Comment from Praise000
Alexisleech,
Fast paced story. I am happy for Laura that her mind was too busy in her new business to care.
"What she had to do now, was concentrate on business. She was determined to make a success of the Bedford, the hotel she'd bought with the money she'd initially made from her internet friendship sites. With the restaurant opening that evening, there was still a lot to do" You manage to engage the reader. God Bless you. Praise000
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Alexisleech,
Fast paced story. I am happy for Laura that her mind was too busy in her new business to care.
"What she had to do now, was concentrate on business. She was determined to make a success of the Bedford, the hotel she'd bought with the money she'd initially made from her internet friendship sites. With the restaurant opening that evening, there was still a lot to do" You manage to engage the reader. God Bless you. Praise000
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Thank you! Writing the first chapter is always hard because it's your first pitch at drawing a reader in. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Alexis x
Comment from joann r romei
I enjoyed the way you set up the three girls with just the right amount of info for a successful fan story read, i feel this is such a unique way to write and tell stories, quick and to the point, love the cat being somewhat like the other woman, 2 cute.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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I enjoyed the way you set up the three girls with just the right amount of info for a successful fan story read, i feel this is such a unique way to write and tell stories, quick and to the point, love the cat being somewhat like the other woman, 2 cute.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Lol, yes I think I might turn Jasper into a Jodi eventually. I love your comment about it being 'the other woman. Thank you for the idea! Alexis x
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Action flows smoothly. Story line easy to see. Nothing wrong with the way you ending one book and started the other book. Write on.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Action flows smoothly. Story line easy to see. Nothing wrong with the way you ending one book and started the other book. Write on.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Thank you, Brett. These girls have taken on a life of their own, so I don't have much choice but to write it down for them! Alexis x
Comment from Gunner Lil
Enjoyed this read very much. A lot of detail about the three women and their
personalities and emotions. I liked how you used 3 shorts to bring the girls relationship together. Jasper has to go.
Love to read more.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Enjoyed this read very much. A lot of detail about the three women and their
personalities and emotions. I liked how you used 3 shorts to bring the girls relationship together. Jasper has to go.
Love to read more.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Doesn't he just, although it's really Georges fault, not the cats. I'm sure he would be a lovely pet if he wasn't allowed to rule the roost! Alexis x
Comment from jpduck
For a moment there you had me worried -- I must remember to read Author's Notes first.:-) So, I now look forward to the saga of the three gals and the Bedford, of which this was a great, foundation-building start. I feel the three main protagonists have been thoroughly introduced.
Adrian
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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For a moment there you had me worried -- I must remember to read Author's Notes first.:-) So, I now look forward to the saga of the three gals and the Bedford, of which this was a great, foundation-building start. I feel the three main protagonists have been thoroughly introduced.
Adrian
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Don't worry. Now we have a fresh start, I shouldn't have to explain much in the Author's notes. I have to thank you for helping me to make the decision to start again when you were confused by some bits in the previous start (when I introduced the character 'Pascal' without explanation) At least this way I can introduce each new character as they enter the scene.
Thank you! Alexis x
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Fully understood; thank you.
Adrian
Comment from Curly Girly
This was an enjoyable and informative chapter to read. I'm sorry it's not working out with George, the vet.
and she'd suggested he left when she realised how much that thought upset her.
and she'd suggested he LEAVE when she realised how much that thought upset her.
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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This was an enjoyable and informative chapter to read. I'm sorry it's not working out with George, the vet.
and she'd suggested he left when she realised how much that thought upset her.
and she'd suggested he LEAVE when she realised how much that thought upset her.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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It's really Georges fault, not the cats. I'm sure he would be a lovely pet if he wasn't allowed to rule the roost! Thank you so much for the six, Nicole. I really appreciate it. Alexis x
Comment from kriver
Hi,
This write seems like a chick flick
The difference is that it is all words.
The dialogue is good with the character interaction
Good scene descriptions
Over all it is a good piece
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Hi,
This write seems like a chick flick
The difference is that it is all words.
The dialogue is good with the character interaction
Good scene descriptions
Over all it is a good piece
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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A chic flick is something I'd love it to become, so I appreciate the fact you think it reads like one. Thank you! Alexis x
