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Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Zingy Feddermoshalot"These are fictional character sketches.
11 total reviews
Comment from emkoutny
Great name-Ziggy Feddermoshalot. He seems to be quite the mess and I think I see a twelve step program in his future! The rhyme scheme was well done. You don't see many poems about getting wasted and hurling, but you sir, have pulled it off!
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Great name-Ziggy Feddermoshalot. He seems to be quite the mess and I think I see a twelve step program in his future! The rhyme scheme was well done. You don't see many poems about getting wasted and hurling, but you sir, have pulled it off!
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Thank you, Elizabeth, for the terrific review. Bill
Comment from krys123
Bill;
+ A most dramatically written piece of poetry that offers both humor and sadness and one complete concept. You have the humor of a man who is drawn in the sadness that he is not smart enough to do it the next day.
+ Interesting rhyming format for each rhyming word was contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the rhyming neither forced nor labored and helpful in the rhythmic flow of the poem.
+ Rhythmic meter both mixed and variable. However, the cadence, tempo, timing and movement which all were very helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and very easy.
+ Imagery was very sound and exquisitely expressive and vividly and demonstratively descriptive: "He began a journey home on which he tripped in every stone ripped his pants and broke a bone then belched in a gurgling spew".
+ I like everything about this phone as it was both lighthearted and poignant and food for thought.
+ Thank you for sharing and posting this and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Bill;
+ A most dramatically written piece of poetry that offers both humor and sadness and one complete concept. You have the humor of a man who is drawn in the sadness that he is not smart enough to do it the next day.
+ Interesting rhyming format for each rhyming word was contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the rhyming neither forced nor labored and helpful in the rhythmic flow of the poem.
+ Rhythmic meter both mixed and variable. However, the cadence, tempo, timing and movement which all were very helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and very easy.
+ Imagery was very sound and exquisitely expressive and vividly and demonstratively descriptive: "He began a journey home on which he tripped in every stone ripped his pants and broke a bone then belched in a gurgling spew".
+ I like everything about this phone as it was both lighthearted and poignant and food for thought.
+ Thank you for sharing and posting this and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Thank you, Alex, for the stunningly complete review. Bill
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You are so sincerely welcome, Bill.
Alex
Comment from patcelaw
Some people never learn when they drink and have difficulties with drinking. I was drunk 3 times before I was of a legal age to drink and had a problem each time. With the third time I said to myself, "Patricia, you don't need to drink alcohol to live , so stop. I did and I never drink alcohol now. Patricia
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Some people never learn when they drink and have difficulties with drinking. I was drunk 3 times before I was of a legal age to drink and had a problem each time. With the third time I said to myself, "Patricia, you don't need to drink alcohol to live , so stop. I did and I never drink alcohol now. Patricia
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Thank you, Patricia, for reviewing this. Yes, I was what is none as a problem drinker. Drinking causes problems for me. I got married in 1986 and have never had another drink. No problems.
Comment from Curly Girly
This is an hilarious poem-story to read and enjoy. Sadly, that is the way for most alcoholics, they don't know when to stop until it is too late.
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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This is an hilarious poem-story to read and enjoy. Sadly, that is the way for most alcoholics, they don't know when to stop until it is too late.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Thank you, CG, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from MickeyV
You did a great job with this poem. It was very funny and clever! Would actually make great lyrics to a song ... maybe sang at AA meetings! All the Best to You! Mickey
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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You did a great job with this poem. It was very funny and clever! Would actually make great lyrics to a song ... maybe sang at AA meetings! All the Best to You! Mickey
Comment Written 03-May-2015
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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Thank you for looking at this.
Comment from costellsgirl33
What a clever name! Where did you get it from? Did you make it up yourself? Or has it always been around and it's just my first time hearing it? lol
I really enjoyed reading your poem, but I always do.
It reminded me of my old boss ;) Nice job
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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What a clever name! Where did you get it from? Did you make it up yourself? Or has it always been around and it's just my first time hearing it? lol
I really enjoyed reading your poem, but I always do.
It reminded me of my old boss ;) Nice job
Comment Written 03-May-2015
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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Thank you for looking at this.
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You are welcome
Arnetta
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Hi Arnetta, I'm sorry for the brief response earlier. I made that name up this morning and made the story up as I went along. Thank you for your spirited reviews. Happy day. Bill
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Hi Bill,
No problem. Thank you! I was so impressed with the name and the story. Have a great day!
Arnetta
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You are welcome
Arnetta
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Hi Bill,
No problem. Thank you! I was so impressed with the name and the story. Have a great day!
Arnetta
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Funny. You told a story in poem form in a small space. Good job on the rhyme.
The flow was natural. I see no changes. Good job and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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Funny. You told a story in poem form in a small space. Good job on the rhyme.
The flow was natural. I see no changes. Good job and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-May-2015
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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Thank you for reviewing.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ha-ha! Yeah, what's a few broken bones when you're havin' fun, right? And Zingy did find his way home after all, and without hurting anyone else but himself in the process.
That's why they say live today like there will be no tomorrow. Zingy seems to have embraced that philosophy quite well.
Funny stuff, Bill..heh-heh.
~Dean
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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Ha-ha! Yeah, what's a few broken bones when you're havin' fun, right? And Zingy did find his way home after all, and without hurting anyone else but himself in the process.
That's why they say live today like there will be no tomorrow. Zingy seems to have embraced that philosophy quite well.
Funny stuff, Bill..heh-heh.
~Dean
Comment Written 03-May-2015
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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Thank you, Dean, for reviewing this. I made these journeys many times.
Comment from Pantygynt
And why not? No don't answer that one. We can do without the moralising on the demon drink. This guy enjoyed himself, he did no harm, apart from perhaps to his liver, so good luck to him I say.
A good, light-hearted piece that will shock the puritans to core, and that's no bad thing!
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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And why not? No don't answer that one. We can do without the moralising on the demon drink. This guy enjoyed himself, he did no harm, apart from perhaps to his liver, so good luck to him I say.
A good, light-hearted piece that will shock the puritans to core, and that's no bad thing!
Comment Written 03-May-2015
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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Thank you for looking at this.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
"Zingy" what a dingy! Alcohol will do that to you though. Well written. Action flows smoothly and story line easy to follow. Write on.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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"Zingy" what a dingy! Alcohol will do that to you though. Well written. Action flows smoothly and story line easy to follow. Write on.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-May-2015
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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Thank you for looking at this.
