Littoral
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Polhena Beach, Sri Lanka, 0600."Poems about the coastline
23 total reviews
Comment from RodG
I am very impressed with this self-devised poetry form--the Symmetrina. It does achieve the effect you're striving for--I.e.--mimicking the gentle rise and fall of waves. You have worked within its constraints beautifully to paint a scene of the Speaker's early morning. I especially like your description of the fishermen in stanza 3. A demanding format handled effortlessly, my friend. A real pleasure to read. Rod
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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I am very impressed with this self-devised poetry form--the Symmetrina. It does achieve the effect you're striving for--I.e.--mimicking the gentle rise and fall of waves. You have worked within its constraints beautifully to paint a scene of the Speaker's early morning. I especially like your description of the fishermen in stanza 3. A demanding format handled effortlessly, my friend. A real pleasure to read. Rod
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for this really complimentary review and the amazing six stars. I used to love those early morning swims before most of the rest of the world was up and about its business. My only regret was I never got to see the stilt fishermen. Apparently they only do their thing in the monsoon season when they can't put their boats to sea. I was six months too early or too late for that. Their stilts were there but only sea birds perched on them while I was there.
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You are very welcome. I am going to see if I can write even one of your stanzas. I am envious! Rod
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
I read the structure rules a couple of times and have to admit I am far too dense to really get it. I do know I thoroughly enjoyed the piece itself. I am pretty sure you used every possible poetic device from alliteration to assonance with effortless skill. Nicely done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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I read the structure rules a couple of times and have to admit I am far too dense to really get it. I do know I thoroughly enjoyed the piece itself. I am pretty sure you used every possible poetic device from alliteration to assonance with effortless skill. Nicely done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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Well I don't know about every device but there are one or two in there. Thanks for noticing.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a lovely poem and your Symmetrina style is beautiful.
Thus style is rhythmic and nice to read.
Well done and thank you for sharing the picture and story of the fishing perches.
Sharon
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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This is a lovely poem and your Symmetrina style is beautiful.
Thus style is rhythmic and nice to read.
Well done and thank you for sharing the picture and story of the fishing perches.
Sharon
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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I used to love those early morning swims before most of the rest of the world was up and about its business. My only regret was I never got to see the stilt fishermen. Apparently they only do their thing in the monsoon season when they can't put their boats to sea. I was six months too early or too late for that. Thank you so much for the lovely comments about the form. They were greatly appreciated.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well & written poem which you created and calls a Symmetrina. It is always good to rise early morning before the rest starts to move. The early birds will catch the juiciest worms.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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A very well & written poem which you created and calls a Symmetrina. It is always good to rise early morning before the rest starts to move. The early birds will catch the juiciest worms.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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I used to love those early morning swims before most of the rest of the world was up and about its business. My only regret was I never got to see the stilt fishermen. Apparently they only do their thing in the monsoon season when they can't put their boats to sea. I was six months too early or too late for that. Thank you so much for your review.
Comment from Maritza M. Mejia
Thank you for the lesson about Symmetrina. I like the style, flow, symmetrical shape and rhyme scheme over each stanza. I hope one day I can create such a piece of art.
Mu best line: Then, letting limpid waters cover me with blue
Sea's iridescence in that early light,
My troubled cares float clear away,
Wonderful!
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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Thank you for the lesson about Symmetrina. I like the style, flow, symmetrical shape and rhyme scheme over each stanza. I hope one day I can create such a piece of art.
Mu best line: Then, letting limpid waters cover me with blue
Sea's iridescence in that early light,
My troubled cares float clear away,
Wonderful!
Comment Written 06-May-2015
reply by the author on 06-May-2015
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You are too kind. Thank you Maritza.
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You're very welcome!
Maritza
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Mate. This is another great chapter written in a very interesting form. You are very clever inventing these things, I invented fire when I lived in the cave, only to find out later that somebody beat me to it! Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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G'day Mate. This is another great chapter written in a very interesting form. You are very clever inventing these things, I invented fire when I lived in the cave, only to find out later that somebody beat me to it! Cheers Fez
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Don't worry Fez. Life's like that. You could try inventing something called The Wheel - could be useful, mate. Thanks for another great review.
Comment from Tatarka2
I'm in awe that you've apparently created a poetic form of your own. This piece was lyrical and evocative. The reader can "see" the sea and the fishermen's boats, as well as "feel" the relaxation the poet experiences. I loved the "jungle-chorused early morn." This is a beautiful poem, and I congratulate you on it.
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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I'm in awe that you've apparently created a poetic form of your own. This piece was lyrical and evocative. The reader can "see" the sea and the fishermen's boats, as well as "feel" the relaxation the poet experiences. I loved the "jungle-chorused early morn." This is a beautiful poem, and I congratulate you on it.
Comment Written 02-May-2015
reply by the author on 03-May-2015
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You are so kind. Many thanks reading this and your sympathetic review.
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a neat style of meter and stanza design. The idea of creating the tides within the meter is very deep and and impressive. Your author's notes are appreciated and valuable.
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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This is a neat style of meter and stanza design. The idea of creating the tides within the meter is very deep and and impressive. Your author's notes are appreciated and valuable.
Comment Written 02-May-2015
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Thanks again this was fun to do. Your review is most encouraging.
Comment from benoenose
Expressed with more care and style with poetic rules. This beach and the enjoyment within is loved by the poet. SriLanka's will love this poem. As a heritage poem the tourism industry shall tapestry this in the walls of the tourism department of Srilanka.
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Expressed with more care and style with poetic rules. This beach and the enjoyment within is loved by the poet. SriLanka's will love this poem. As a heritage poem the tourism industry shall tapestry this in the walls of the tourism department of Srilanka.
Comment Written 02-May-2015
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Thank you for these very kind remarks. I had never thought of this a potentially boosting tourism to Sri Lanka but you could well have a point.
Comment from Treischel
First of all congratulations on this new format of Symmetrina. I love the layout and will have to try one, giving you credit, of course. I did tend to want the rhyme scheme to be ababa, but thats just me. I loved the imagery that you depicted here of a quiet morning swim at the beach. Those stilts, a tale to be told. Wonderful presentation.
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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First of all congratulations on this new format of Symmetrina. I love the layout and will have to try one, giving you credit, of course. I did tend to want the rhyme scheme to be ababa, but thats just me. I loved the imagery that you depicted here of a quiet morning swim at the beach. Those stilts, a tale to be told. Wonderful presentation.
Comment Written 01-May-2015
reply by the author on 02-May-2015
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Many thanks for having a look at this. The rhyme scheme has alwys been abcba but recently I altered the line length to achieve the mirror symmetry there as well. While I will leave this poem as it is now, should I write any more of these I thought I might play around with some repetition as in villaneeles. I 'll see how it goes.
