The Curse of 'Gator Bayou
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Chapter 3 Part 1"A young Cajun girl struggles to survive.
4 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Sheriff Renee's friend had been killed, after promising his friend that he would always be there, he'd been shot, Renee had woken up with nightmares ever since. So they'd also found a body in the bayou! He missed his girlfriend Evangeline and wished she where home. I enjoyed this story, it was engaging and so held my attention, well written and combined with good characters, was a good read, well done, blessings, Roy.
Typo: The 'Houma daily' news(. ) ran it first (,) 2: as they(. ) began, 3: Rene(e) lit a cigarette.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Sheriff Renee's friend had been killed, after promising his friend that he would always be there, he'd been shot, Renee had woken up with nightmares ever since. So they'd also found a body in the bayou! He missed his girlfriend Evangeline and wished she where home. I enjoyed this story, it was engaging and so held my attention, well written and combined with good characters, was a good read, well done, blessings, Roy.
Typo: The 'Houma daily' news(. ) ran it first (,) 2: as they(. ) began, 3: Rene(e) lit a cigarette.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Thanks Roy for reading my work and catching my typo's. I will go back and correct. I appreciate your comments.
Jo
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Most welcome, Jo.
Comment from Wabigoon
justjo--
Why Renee missed Evangeline is not exactly clear. I am not up on the plot but certainly got this part.
Your characterization and description are excellent. Only thing I noted on my way way was this, not a spag, just a thought.
"Renee found himself surprised and speechless."
Surprised and speechless just seemed too much alike, sort of the same thing. Of the two "speechless" seems the more descriptive.
Nice job
Thanks
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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justjo--
Why Renee missed Evangeline is not exactly clear. I am not up on the plot but certainly got this part.
Your characterization and description are excellent. Only thing I noted on my way way was this, not a spag, just a thought.
"Renee found himself surprised and speechless."
Surprised and speechless just seemed too much alike, sort of the same thing. Of the two "speechless" seems the more descriptive.
Nice job
Thanks
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Yes, you are so right. I'll drop the surprised. Speechless is strong enough to get the message across. Evangeline is Renee's wife and she has been gone for two months. Thus, missing her. Thank you for reading and making suggestions to my work. I really appreciate the critique.
jo
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Jo--
Glad it makes sense. Close to fanning you to find out what happens.
Wabigoon, jeff
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I would love to have your input.
Jo
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Background information helpful. Action flows smoothly. Easy to follow story line. Descriptive language used well throughout. Write on.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Background information helpful. Action flows smoothly. Easy to follow story line. Descriptive language used well throughout. Write on.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
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Thank you Brett for reviewing my work. I'm working very hard on this my first novel to get it as right and enjoyable as I can. I appreciate your feedback.
Jo
Comment from Misrael
Yes that was sort of steamy but it was not as bd assome I have read. Thiswas alot different than the previose ones have been but good anyway. Evie is sure shallow isn't she? But some peopleare like that. Good read and keep on witing.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2015
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Yes that was sort of steamy but it was not as bd assome I have read. Thiswas alot different than the previose ones have been but good anyway. Evie is sure shallow isn't she? But some peopleare like that. Good read and keep on witing.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2015
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Thanks Misrael for your kind review. Yes, it's a different type of chapter. I will get back to Marie. In this chapter I try to establish the character of Evie. I think you got her. She is a spoiled and selfish brat.
