Reviews from

Texas Dream Catcher

Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Chapter Quince; Part Dos"
Drug & human trafficking, can romance win?

36 total reviews 
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good seeing you back. Another great read. Not a lot of drama, this time. But I have no doubt it is coming. More trips on Tootsie55 and another one coming real soon.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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I'm glad you brought up the last scene with Gus raising the question I'll bet a lot of your readers are wondering. Just how sweet on Soni is Jim. When they're together, even spending the night together, they are more like brother and sister. I'm not sure they would be a good match anyway. Soni is a bit overbearing and he seems to lack a "macho" gene.

Well written chapter, Barbara.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
    I think Jim has a lot of macho, he's just keeping it hidden, but I have a feeling it will rise and shine. He is an x-marine. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Jay Squires on 27-Apr-2015
    I'm sure you'll find a way to inject some romance into the story soon.
Comment from rmj09
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The focus is Soni going to track the men who had been on her property. The storyline development Soni is preparing to leave to track a group of eight men they saw on her property. She is a very capable woman who knows her strengths and weaknesses. So when Jim questions her riding Midnight who they had just rescued. He had brought all four dogs, both Mack and Diego were injured so she tells them they must stay home. She goes into the house for a few items and Jim's food.
The dialog is clear and paints a picture of the characters themselves as well as how they feel. The narration shows Soni's response to Jim's statement about Midnight. Jim's response to Gus regarding Soni.
The hook will they only be gone for a few hours and will Midnight be save.
The emotions I felt joy from the laughter Soni and Jim bring to me by their trying to avoid their feelings for each other.
KEEP ON WRITING.

Barb, your writing is excellent your descriptions of the characters and the surroundings. If someone gives you a low mark because they come in at the middle or end there is less character descriptions but it is still understandable. I find your story compelling don't change it for others. Walk under the protection of our Lords rainbow. *J* Rita

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
    Thank you for dropping by and leaving this encouraging review. I often need a pick me up and you just gave it to me. Thank you.
Comment from Fridayauthor
Excellent
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A very good, quiet chapter that reads smoothly in spite of it being a transition between action. The dialog is comfortable and authentic. It's fun to read.

Jim hesitated before he said, "I thought maybe you could use a sharp shooter."
Jim hesitated. "I thought maybe you could use a sharp shooter." (Just my picky "less is better," kill the unnecessary.)

I always enjoy your writing.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
    I would normally write that, but I have been getting fours lately with people stating they couldn't figure out who was talking; even thought their were only two people in the scene. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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This is a great chapter and I enjoyed it very much. I thought I'd point out a small fact you may or may not want to address:

Not important, but the agent has no legal right to tell Kuruk not to leave the ranch. Unless he has a warrant stating that, Kuruk can go where ever he wants.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
    That is very true. I missed that, but I will figure a way to fix it. Thank you for pointing that out.
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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You definitely get across that the agent is pissed and determined to get Kuruck eventually
I really like the conversation with Gus, who teases Jim about his romantic interest in Soni, which he has not acknowledged yet, but which is rather obvious :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
    Thank you for the encouragement and kind review.
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
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Well Barbara...I was just stopping by to read a bit of an old friend's writings and you are correct...having not read before I was thoroughly confused. LOL...Juggling the characters in my mind, deciding who was a dog, a horse or a person....But regardless..the sauciness and the humor still jumped off the page to the reader's delight. Nice job......

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
    Thank you so much for dropping in and leaving this kind review.
Comment from mumsyone
Excellent
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Good chapter, Barbara.

Midnight nuzzled him,(no comma) and(,) with a soft moan(,) Diego meandered toward the house. (When a phrase such as 'with a soft moan' can be left out without changing the meaning of the sentence, it should be enclosed in commas.)

(")Jim, take Smokey this time. If trouble finds us, he'll remain calm."


 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
    Phooey, I was sure I had that right. Oh well, back to the drawing board. I do appreciate your help. Thank you so much.
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Yep! I still smell romance in the air. Must agree with Gus. So we are tracking. You are still doing a good job with this story. Appreciate the opportunity to read it. Blessings to you.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
    Thank you for the encouraging review and your kind support.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Mack a nd Diego tell Soni they want to go with go with her, but she tells them one day soon they can. Gus notes when Jim sets out with Soni that He might sweet on on Soni, Jim looks away, he won't admit to anything! Well.done, Soni is going too find out a few things by doing some tracking. Well done, blessings, Roy.
Typo:- Nose-to-nose as she took (a)short breath. 2:no (since)trying to hide the smile= use.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015
    I must have been making those corrections as you were reading. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
reply by royowen on 26-Apr-2015
    My pleasure,