When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Collision "A family's love is tested.
24 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
This was engrossing. I was completely drawn in to this. Very naturalistic in tone and style, which made it interesting and appealing. The writing is good and accessible.
"Long lunch," I thought - this seemed a little unnecessary as you are the narrator and haven't used the tags for your other thoughts.
It's annoying that you don't always hear me and I have to repeat myself several times." - missing opening speech marks
GMG
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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Hi there,
This was engrossing. I was completely drawn in to this. Very naturalistic in tone and style, which made it interesting and appealing. The writing is good and accessible.
"Long lunch," I thought - this seemed a little unnecessary as you are the narrator and haven't used the tags for your other thoughts.
It's annoying that you don't always hear me and I have to repeat myself several times." - missing opening speech marks
GMG
Comment Written 22-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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Thanks, GMG, for wise advise. I appreciate the comments on my tone and style. Very complimentary. :-)
Comment from Jay Squires
I love this saga, Spitfire (May I call you Sharilynn?) Your family has probably the same drama as most, but I adore the way you describe yours.
Frank's personal feelings were that Anne would put her in a nursing home. [Frank (who I'm assuming is Anne's husband)says "would" and I'm wondering if you didn't mean "should". Or did Frank believe she WOULD put her in a nursing home?]
involved and enamoured with the church. [I had to check your bio. Why do you use the British model for enamored?]
it was so much [you have some spacing problems like this. If you paste it to WORD you can see them easily.]
"That's because you mumble!" . [A vagrant period.]
A great, fun read.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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I love this saga, Spitfire (May I call you Sharilynn?) Your family has probably the same drama as most, but I adore the way you describe yours.
Frank's personal feelings were that Anne would put her in a nursing home. [Frank (who I'm assuming is Anne's husband)says "would" and I'm wondering if you didn't mean "should". Or did Frank believe she WOULD put her in a nursing home?]
involved and enamoured with the church. [I had to check your bio. Why do you use the British model for enamored?]
it was so much [you have some spacing problems like this. If you paste it to WORD you can see them easily.]
"That's because you mumble!" . [A vagrant period.]
A great, fun read.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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Call me Shari. I just use Sharilynn when (if) I publish. :-)
Frank is my hubby and feared Anne would get her up North only to put her in a nursing home. She didn't that yet. I rechecked the spelling noted and erased the period. Still hunting for the space problem and too lazy to past. LOL
Comment from Donya Quijote
Found no nits this time for you to check out. Thought I would try a different start.
Some fireworks here and I am almost certain that there is more to come. Will confront Anne about her betrayal and manipulation. And Dee too. What a conspiracy! Will you and your mom patch things up? Until this event it really did seem that the two of you had buried the hatchet so to speak and had become friends, something more than just mother and daughter. And then there's Frank's reaction, at least you hint that he might become more directly involved in this spat. I have a brother. We are both adopted, different biological parents. He doesn't talk to me and has made little effort to have a relationship. He once told me that I wasn't his real sister. Family relationships can be the most difficult...
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reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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Found no nits this time for you to check out. Thought I would try a different start.
Some fireworks here and I am almost certain that there is more to come. Will confront Anne about her betrayal and manipulation. And Dee too. What a conspiracy! Will you and your mom patch things up? Until this event it really did seem that the two of you had buried the hatchet so to speak and had become friends, something more than just mother and daughter. And then there's Frank's reaction, at least you hint that he might become more directly involved in this spat. I have a brother. We are both adopted, different biological parents. He doesn't talk to me and has made little effort to have a relationship. He once told me that I wasn't his real sister. Family relationships can be the most difficult...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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That's a shame. And tough on the parents who chose both of you. Might be interesting to explore the situation with them. There may be past lives involved. You know me. :-)
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Hmmm. My parents are both deceased. My mom once told me she wished she could have returned me... He's interested in making contact with his birth mother. We've known since forever that we had been adopted. I've never really be interested. I am who I am. Last I heard he had found his birth mother and going to make contact. My family is completely dysfunctional. My parents tried to have him declared incorrigible and not responsible for him when he was sixteen. There's more, but who want's to talk about such horrors. Already having a not so good day. None of my Spanish students made the cut on that national exam. Feeling a bit like a failure as a teacher...
Comment from Deniz22
I don't know what to say. Perhaps this is therapeutic for you? The sisters sound petty and your mother insecure. Everyone needs to realize living with others, no matter how much you love them, has its difficulties. Even though the Bible calls for us to love our neighbor, it balances this affection with common sense.
17 Do not let your foot be in your neighbor's house too much, or he may become tired of you and hate you. Proverbs 25:17New Life Version (NLV)
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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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I don't know what to say. Perhaps this is therapeutic for you? The sisters sound petty and your mother insecure. Everyone needs to realize living with others, no matter how much you love them, has its difficulties. Even though the Bible calls for us to love our neighbor, it balances this affection with common sense.
17 Do not let your foot be in your neighbor's house too much, or he may become tired of you and hate you. Proverbs 25:17New Life Version (NLV)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Interesting passage from the Bible. I did feel guilty at one time. I guess I'm putting it out there just to remind myself that with God's grace, I got through all this. My troubles are petty compared to others with health or abuse problems. I'm really very lucky. :-)
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Great attitude...:) Wow! 28 reviews on your rescued word...but I'm not jealous...I just say "whatever" :)
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I haven't checked the board yet, but am more than pleased with the reviews.
