Lupo Dexus (Duelists Book 1)
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Knight part 1"a disparate group of exiles is drawn together
5 total reviews
Comment from Chris Tee
Mike, this is another absolutely intriguing part you have written here. It forces the reader to get totally captivated. I just could not take my eyes of the screen. Your vocabulary extremely well balanced and rich.
Well done indeed.
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Mike, this is another absolutely intriguing part you have written here. It forces the reader to get totally captivated. I just could not take my eyes of the screen. Your vocabulary extremely well balanced and rich.
Well done indeed.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2015
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Well written. Story line easy to follow. Action flowed well. Descriptive language held reader's interest throughout. Write on.
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Well written. Story line easy to follow. Action flowed well. Descriptive language held reader's interest throughout. Write on.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2015
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This is well written. Your first person narrative was excellent. I would suggest showing us a bit more. Use dialogue, as you did in the second half, to bring the characters alive. With first person it is easy to stay in the head of your main characters too much. Great job though. A very enjoyable read.
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This is well written. Your first person narrative was excellent. I would suggest showing us a bit more. Use dialogue, as you did in the second half, to bring the characters alive. With first person it is easy to stay in the head of your main characters too much. Great job though. A very enjoyable read.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
Comment from Sasha
My goodness, this was awesome. YOu continue to impress me with your awesome ability to describe EVERYTHING. I love tears mixing with the rain. Terrific imagery with this one. Things are getting exciting, I anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
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My goodness, this was awesome. YOu continue to impress me with your awesome ability to describe EVERYTHING. I love tears mixing with the rain. Terrific imagery with this one. Things are getting exciting, I anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
Comment from kiwijenny
Fleedleflump this was riveting...you had my attention the whole way
Typo..hom ...him
Well penned..especially the tears mixing with rain....good hook at the end
God bless
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Fleedleflump this was riveting...you had my attention the whole way
Typo..hom ...him
Well penned..especially the tears mixing with rain....good hook at the end
God bless
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
