haiku (God rinses his brush)
sunset haiku34 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Mikey,
Loved this.
I don't give out sixes that much, it seems. Not many for poetry. Extremely few for haiku but I think this is tremendous.
It grabbed my attention straight away because of the simple language giving such vivid imagery. Last line perfection - for me.
I am not an expert on these things, and I will read every one as usual but this hits it for me.
Best of luck
G
Oh yeah, great accompanying photo, but the words definitely stand on their own.
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Hi Mikey,
Loved this.
I don't give out sixes that much, it seems. Not many for poetry. Extremely few for haiku but I think this is tremendous.
It grabbed my attention straight away because of the simple language giving such vivid imagery. Last line perfection - for me.
I am not an expert on these things, and I will read every one as usual but this hits it for me.
Best of luck
G
Oh yeah, great accompanying photo, but the words definitely stand on their own.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
Comment from rama devi
Very clever, Mikey! Good personification of God...'rinses his brush--I LOVE THAT...it has an AHA aspect, nicely accented by tour subtle (and nicely alliterated) satori. Good consonance of S and T sounds. Sounds lovely read aloud. Beautiful presentation too.
Good luck in the contest!
Warmly, rd
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Very clever, Mikey! Good personification of God...'rinses his brush--I LOVE THAT...it has an AHA aspect, nicely accented by tour subtle (and nicely alliterated) satori. Good consonance of S and T sounds. Sounds lovely read aloud. Beautiful presentation too.
Good luck in the contest!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
Comment from krys123
Mikey;
+ great use of enjambment which is the running on of a thought and concept from one stanza and line to the next without a syntactical break.
+ Alliteration:/"swirling sunset"/
+ Effective the imagery in this haiku with the first two lines is so interconnected and the imagery is very distinct, clear and exquisitely expressive and vividly and demonstratively descriptive.
+ The third line or satori gives it that aha moment and expresses a summary for the total concept of the poem or haiku.
+ Thank you for sharing and posting this Mikey and may the good Lord be with you always, and especially good luck in the contest.
Alex
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Mikey;
+ great use of enjambment which is the running on of a thought and concept from one stanza and line to the next without a syntactical break.
+ Alliteration:/"swirling sunset"/
+ Effective the imagery in this haiku with the first two lines is so interconnected and the imagery is very distinct, clear and exquisitely expressive and vividly and demonstratively descriptive.
+ The third line or satori gives it that aha moment and expresses a summary for the total concept of the poem or haiku.
+ Thank you for sharing and posting this Mikey and may the good Lord be with you always, and especially good luck in the contest.
Alex
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
Comment from Sasha
As you well know by now, I get lost in all the many poetic rules. But I really like this one and think it may well be a top contender. I wish you all the best in the contest.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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As you well know by now, I get lost in all the many poetic rules. But I really like this one and think it may well be a top contender. I wish you all the best in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
