Sixty-Five and Counting
laughing at myself18 total reviews
Comment from GWHARGIS
My goodness, I get surlier with each passing year. I no longer have time for listening to others whine and hem and haw over their problems. If you ask for my opinion, by golly you are going to get it. I can still smile the sweet smile, but those who know me just roll their eyes. Great essay. Do you have a blog. You should. I think people would get a kick out of your writing. Gretchen
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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My goodness, I get surlier with each passing year. I no longer have time for listening to others whine and hem and haw over their problems. If you ask for my opinion, by golly you are going to get it. I can still smile the sweet smile, but those who know me just roll their eyes. Great essay. Do you have a blog. You should. I think people would get a kick out of your writing. Gretchen
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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I have a whole web sight set up with bog and all, but have not activated the site. On my must do list. Thanks, I'm hiding out among strangers in this town. When I left Toronto, I left the people who know me best. Followed my son.
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
You should do whatever you need to do to feel amazing but keep in mind you're amazing just the way you are. I'm glad you're coming to terms with it and finding the added perks even if they aren't the biggest things in the world, it's a start
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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You should do whatever you need to do to feel amazing but keep in mind you're amazing just the way you are. I'm glad you're coming to terms with it and finding the added perks even if they aren't the biggest things in the world, it's a start
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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You are just too charming. Thanks.
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
I'm not beyond a little vanity myself. I don't consider Botox, and have losses that are costly and I can't afford what I need. first, I;ve been without my natural teeth that my fourth set are so ill-fitting that I spit saliva past them. If I'm in a big way of talking, a erson close to me may get baptized in saliva. (That's a littlee exaggeratin.)
second, I've lost my hearing entirely. For several years now, people I do business with grab a pad and write down what answer they have. They write ddown what they want to ask me also. Much the saqme applies in most communication with my son.
Other handicaps ae too numerous to mention.
In my old age, people are very nice to consideer my failings.
Don
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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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I'm not beyond a little vanity myself. I don't consider Botox, and have losses that are costly and I can't afford what I need. first, I;ve been without my natural teeth that my fourth set are so ill-fitting that I spit saliva past them. If I'm in a big way of talking, a erson close to me may get baptized in saliva. (That's a littlee exaggeratin.)
second, I've lost my hearing entirely. For several years now, people I do business with grab a pad and write down what answer they have. They write ddown what they want to ask me also. Much the saqme applies in most communication with my son.
Other handicaps ae too numerous to mention.
In my old age, people are very nice to consideer my failings.
Don
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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Living in a world of silence must be hard to bear, but I am glad that you continue to find ways to communicate. Yes, I'm close to having my teeth yanked and my fear is your reality, they won't fit and I will be in constant distress. I'm pleased that people still treat you with dignity and do not hold age-related failings as a measure of who you are as a man. ingrid
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Ingrid... and I say that with a smile on my face... hell, I'm always smiling... makes some people real nervous wondering why someone smiles for no apparent reason. Well, I have a reason this time... you crack me up! Your dry wit and humor is hilarious... and your writing is that visual I can see the expressions on your face when your sarcastic banter begins... you think you're hiding them, don't you? No ma'am, I can see... subtleties don't lie... and besides, it takes one to know one... more mirror, and more practice. I can tell you must be new to this sweet old lady routine... and hell, from what I could see in the photo, just last week, you don't look old enough to be treated like that anyway... so back to the crazy smile...keep'em guessing. And if I forgot to wish you a belated Happy Birthday... which I can't see myself doing... Happy 65TH... yeah! Discounts galore... do you get free rail travel now? A free ice-cream at Maca's with every purchase?
You know the old saying... "Your only as young as the man you're feeling" time to feel young again... your heart's way too young for this senior citizen lurk.
'And not only did he put the bags in the trunk'... extra space between only and did... yeah, that all I could find everything else is all you, and just the way we all love you... entertaining as hell, as always.
With our thoughts we create,
the truth, and nothing but the truth,
James vx's
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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Hi Ingrid... and I say that with a smile on my face... hell, I'm always smiling... makes some people real nervous wondering why someone smiles for no apparent reason. Well, I have a reason this time... you crack me up! Your dry wit and humor is hilarious... and your writing is that visual I can see the expressions on your face when your sarcastic banter begins... you think you're hiding them, don't you? No ma'am, I can see... subtleties don't lie... and besides, it takes one to know one... more mirror, and more practice. I can tell you must be new to this sweet old lady routine... and hell, from what I could see in the photo, just last week, you don't look old enough to be treated like that anyway... so back to the crazy smile...keep'em guessing. And if I forgot to wish you a belated Happy Birthday... which I can't see myself doing... Happy 65TH... yeah! Discounts galore... do you get free rail travel now? A free ice-cream at Maca's with every purchase?
You know the old saying... "Your only as young as the man you're feeling" time to feel young again... your heart's way too young for this senior citizen lurk.
'And not only did he put the bags in the trunk'... extra space between only and did... yeah, that all I could find everything else is all you, and just the way we all love you... entertaining as hell, as always.
With our thoughts we create,
the truth, and nothing but the truth,
James vx's
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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Aren't you the soaring eagle, catching that spag? Wow! Corrected, with thanks. I may consider making a book of stand-alone essays bemoaning the advancing years. Thanks.
Comment from rjpurdy
This is a great essay Ingrid. I appreciate the self deprecating humor and the sarastic perspective. You've quite well with humor. Rod
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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This is a great essay Ingrid. I appreciate the self deprecating humor and the sarastic perspective. You've quite well with humor. Rod
Comment Written 22-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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I'm still trying to laugh my way through this--guess I can't call it mid-life--crisis. Thank you.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Very funny Ingrid. As I said you have many good years left. I agree with the sweet old lady smile because it is a fact the older we get the frown we use daily because of the chronic pain we are suffering tends to take over and you don't make many friends doing that now do you. Botox no. I wouldn't. It tends to give a look of pain also! LOL Well done. Loved it! Nancy
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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Very funny Ingrid. As I said you have many good years left. I agree with the sweet old lady smile because it is a fact the older we get the frown we use daily because of the chronic pain we are suffering tends to take over and you don't make many friends doing that now do you. Botox no. I wouldn't. It tends to give a look of pain also! LOL Well done. Loved it! Nancy
Comment Written 22-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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I am exploiting my membership to rattle on about my current milestone in my journey. I'm glad that you can see the humour in my mood swings. ingrid
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Ingrid, this is a hoot! Your new demeanor is a grand experiment and worthy of your adventurous nature and cynical sense ofhu.or. I want to hear more of your observations. ;) Nancy
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Ingrid, this is a hoot! Your new demeanor is a grand experiment and worthy of your adventurous nature and cynical sense ofhu.or. I want to hear more of your observations. ;) Nancy
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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More? Really? I could become the Erma Bombeck of the senior crowd, write a series of essays on how to navigate old age, or how NOT to do it. Thanks for the stars.
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Fantastic idea!
Comment from judiverse
Practice the expression you prefer and use it if you have a Botox treatment. That way, it'll be frozen on. This is an enjoyable insight into what you've discovered about being a senior citizen. I've never had people helping me load groceries into the trunk of my car or over to pay for my anything. I attended a proper English tea party a few years ago. We were requested to wear hats. Loved the one about the Baptists frowning on alcohol and sex because it might lead to dancing. judi
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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Practice the expression you prefer and use it if you have a Botox treatment. That way, it'll be frozen on. This is an enjoyable insight into what you've discovered about being a senior citizen. I've never had people helping me load groceries into the trunk of my car or over to pay for my anything. I attended a proper English tea party a few years ago. We were requested to wear hats. Loved the one about the Baptists frowning on alcohol and sex because it might lead to dancing. judi
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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Serving high tea--UK style--with cucumber sandwiches, scones with heavy cream is becoming very fashionable is restaurants again these days. This was more the the United Temperance staff meeting, in spite of some sparkling personalities. Thanks.
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It must be hard for younger people to grasp the concept of a UK style tea. I will say we used tea bags at our tea. judi
Comment from rama devi
Nice that you hose Sharon Routley's artwork...I often use her paintings with my posts. :) This is another witty, entertaining share, my dear. Such a different tone than last week's and yet the same unique voice that's your own!
Good flow of thoughts as well as pacing, though there are a few places where flow is slightly hindered by sentence construction and punctuation choices. See notes below for suggestions (and some corrections). But, as most of them are suggestions, I'm still giving you five stars (as I may not have time to re-review and upgrade)...
NOTES
Trying to justify how I could be so sure of my convictions, (and) then switch to another side,
Fortunately, I had no witnesses to my debate(; or ,) therefore I may
I had a stranger buy me a cup of coffee(,) and another load(ed) my groceries into the trunk of my car without asking.
LOVE THIS: HE HE HE: Yup, Mr. 'I'm-in-a-hurry' reached over with his crisp ten-dollar bill and treated me at the donut shop.
* and not only (did he) put the bags in the trunk, he rushed to return the cart the storage bay.
HEE HEE HE:
But, of course, I knew exactly what I was doing and returned home to practice smiling in the mirror. I've been trying to perfect the 'sweet-old-lady' smile for two days.
*This is a hard one(,) as my usual look of unmitigated disgust needed to be wiped off my face first.
*While I was staring in the mirror, I noticed a long hair and absent-mindedly tried to brush it off my shoulder and damn near strangled myself.
Bit awkward phrasing. Maybe try:
While I was staring in the mirror, I noticed a long hair and, absentmindedly trying to brush it off my shoulder, damn near strangled myself.
HA HA HA:
The thing--just one solitary hair--was growing out of my neck. How did I miss that--all six inches?
*
I took inventory while in the lavatory,(NO COMMA before parenthesis) (such a lovely old-fashioned word)(,) and devoted a good ten minutes
* Now(,) honestly, I thought the idea of a tea party was a perpetual joke, something reminiscent of speak-easies in the 1920s(,) when gin was served in tea cups to give the appearance of compliance to prohibition.
HA HA HA: So close, but I escaped by using the smile I practiced.
*To a degree, that's good counsel, but I have always been a cynic(al) and somewhat sarcastic woman,
*I will continue to monitor and take note to see if the old adage about honey attracting flies--or is it bees?--holds up(,) and give serious consideration to the other stand-by;(:) 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.'
Consider using parenthesis for (or is it bees?) instead of dashes.
Humorous conclusion:
In the meantime, I have allocated fifteen minutes a day to practice my new facial expression. I can report honestly, I've almost erased the snarl. I bet Botox would help.
Thanks for the fun read. Keep being you and shining that sweet (even if subtly sarcastic) smile.
Love and hugs, rd
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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Nice that you hose Sharon Routley's artwork...I often use her paintings with my posts. :) This is another witty, entertaining share, my dear. Such a different tone than last week's and yet the same unique voice that's your own!
Good flow of thoughts as well as pacing, though there are a few places where flow is slightly hindered by sentence construction and punctuation choices. See notes below for suggestions (and some corrections). But, as most of them are suggestions, I'm still giving you five stars (as I may not have time to re-review and upgrade)...
NOTES
Trying to justify how I could be so sure of my convictions, (and) then switch to another side,
Fortunately, I had no witnesses to my debate(; or ,) therefore I may
I had a stranger buy me a cup of coffee(,) and another load(ed) my groceries into the trunk of my car without asking.
LOVE THIS: HE HE HE: Yup, Mr. 'I'm-in-a-hurry' reached over with his crisp ten-dollar bill and treated me at the donut shop.
* and not only (did he) put the bags in the trunk, he rushed to return the cart the storage bay.
HEE HEE HE:
But, of course, I knew exactly what I was doing and returned home to practice smiling in the mirror. I've been trying to perfect the 'sweet-old-lady' smile for two days.
*This is a hard one(,) as my usual look of unmitigated disgust needed to be wiped off my face first.
*While I was staring in the mirror, I noticed a long hair and absent-mindedly tried to brush it off my shoulder and damn near strangled myself.
Bit awkward phrasing. Maybe try:
While I was staring in the mirror, I noticed a long hair and, absentmindedly trying to brush it off my shoulder, damn near strangled myself.
HA HA HA:
The thing--just one solitary hair--was growing out of my neck. How did I miss that--all six inches?
*
I took inventory while in the lavatory,(NO COMMA before parenthesis) (such a lovely old-fashioned word)(,) and devoted a good ten minutes
* Now(,) honestly, I thought the idea of a tea party was a perpetual joke, something reminiscent of speak-easies in the 1920s(,) when gin was served in tea cups to give the appearance of compliance to prohibition.
HA HA HA: So close, but I escaped by using the smile I practiced.
*To a degree, that's good counsel, but I have always been a cynic(al) and somewhat sarcastic woman,
*I will continue to monitor and take note to see if the old adage about honey attracting flies--or is it bees?--holds up(,) and give serious consideration to the other stand-by;(:) 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.'
Consider using parenthesis for (or is it bees?) instead of dashes.
Humorous conclusion:
In the meantime, I have allocated fifteen minutes a day to practice my new facial expression. I can report honestly, I've almost erased the snarl. I bet Botox would help.
Thanks for the fun read. Keep being you and shining that sweet (even if subtly sarcastic) smile.
Love and hugs, rd
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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Any one who receives a review from you must surely be very grateful. I changed quite a few, and tool a look at all,. Thanks so much.
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Aw, thanks dear. After this week, my reviewing here will be much less intensive...but I'll visit on occasion--and will always give thorough reviews, as a matter of principle. Also, it keeps our own skills sharp! (like muse-exercise).
Comment from Sis Cat
I enjoyed the wit, humor, and sarcasm of this essay. Your voice was direct and conversational. The anecdotes you presented were funny and believable. This was a fun read. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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I enjoyed the wit, humor, and sarcasm of this essay. Your voice was direct and conversational. The anecdotes you presented were funny and believable. This was a fun read. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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They should be authentic stories--LOL--I lived the stories. Thanks so much.
