The Bedford
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Date, Part One"The ongoing story of Karen, Laura and Jenny.
14 total reviews
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Alexis. If it were me I'd turn up naked or at least with cut off sleeves and legs! This is another great chapter, very well written as always and nothing out of place that I can see. Jury duty huh? Hang him, he is guilty! Case closed! Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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G'day Alexis. If it were me I'd turn up naked or at least with cut off sleeves and legs! This is another great chapter, very well written as always and nothing out of place that I can see. Jury duty huh? Hang him, he is guilty! Case closed! Cheers Fez
Comment Written 23-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2015
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Hi Fez, glad to say they didn't need me, so this week's hanging won't be decided by me! Now to the scary part. I'm having to send LTD out to publishers and agents. Yikes! I hate rejection! Alexis x
Comment from madhatter1977
I'm reading this in reverse and the chapter makes a lot of sense. Shame about the outcome in the next chapter! Children deciding parental disputes is never a good idea although Michelle seems like a nice character. Good for Karen getting self esteem back! Best wishes, Pete :)
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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I'm reading this in reverse and the chapter makes a lot of sense. Shame about the outcome in the next chapter! Children deciding parental disputes is never a good idea although Michelle seems like a nice character. Good for Karen getting self esteem back! Best wishes, Pete :)
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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Poor Mark, he did seem to put his foot in it, didn't he? Never mind, it gives Karen a chance to have some fun with Laura now. God help Glasgow! Alexis x
Comment from Green Lake Girl
What is it with kids that think their divorced parents should get back together? Especially after a cheating situation. Anyhow, it'll be interesting to see how the date goes after all this time. Interesting story, Alexis. Looking forward to more chapters.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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What is it with kids that think their divorced parents should get back together? Especially after a cheating situation. Anyhow, it'll be interesting to see how the date goes after all this time. Interesting story, Alexis. Looking forward to more chapters.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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As you now know, it didn't go to plan. Woops! Alexis x
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Karen has certainly done well -
and looking good makes one feel
good.
I like Michelle and her outlook on life.
Now we must wait to see how Karen's date
with Mark goes. I hope she remembers that
"when in doubt, do without" - for it would
be a big step to get back with him. In my
experience, if a man does it once and is
forgiven, he'll do it again.
for it's laid-back - its
occassions
occasions
Margaret
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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Karen has certainly done well -
and looking good makes one feel
good.
I like Michelle and her outlook on life.
Now we must wait to see how Karen's date
with Mark goes. I hope she remembers that
"when in doubt, do without" - for it would
be a big step to get back with him. In my
experience, if a man does it once and is
forgiven, he'll do it again.
for it's laid-back - its
occassions
occasions
Margaret
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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No question about it, Margaret. Don't forget that advice after you've read it, which I know you have. I need Karen to have some fun before she gets cozied up in a relationship again! Alexis x
Comment from MelB
So cute how Michelle is trying to set her parents up to get back together. I liked the chariot awaits line. I'm curious if Karen is going to accept this invitation to go away for the weekend and if she is capable of forgiving him. Looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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So cute how Michelle is trying to set her parents up to get back together. I liked the chariot awaits line. I'm curious if Karen is going to accept this invitation to go away for the weekend and if she is capable of forgiving him. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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It might not go to plan! I hope you enjoy the next couple of chapters I've posted. Alexis x
Comment from Spitfire
A bright pink car-what a perfect carriage for a queen. Every child's wish to get divorced parents back together is the theme of this section. Nice touches with Karen's worry of looking too sexy and Michelle's concern about being late.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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A bright pink car-what a perfect carriage for a queen. Every child's wish to get divorced parents back together is the theme of this section. Nice touches with Karen's worry of looking too sexy and Michelle's concern about being late.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2015
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Yes, she's a very 'girly' girl, Michelle. She's also, as you say, fairly typical with regard to getting her parents back together. Sadly, she could be in for a disappointment! Alexis x
Comment from rwilliam
Excellent chapter! I really enjoyed this and where it's possibly going. I like that we are getting to know Michelle better as well.
I am excited to read on. :-)
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Excellent chapter! I really enjoyed this and where it's possibly going. I like that we are getting to know Michelle better as well.
I am excited to read on. :-)
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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I think you're in for a surprise! Not an easy one to write, but I got there in the end. Alexis xxx
Comment from Cat of Letters
Hi Alexis.
Want to strangle this yucky, little Daddy's girl!
Just my opinion, and prejudice, otherwise, it seems fine.
Some minor edits:
Wasn't very formal - skip the 'very'
V-neck - hyphen
seventy pounds (comma) plus (comma)
to try TO (not and) camouflage her bulk (comma) or (. . . ) not anymore.
buying something too small (comma) WHICH GOT LEFT in the wardrobe for a while (comma) on the belied (comma) tat one day (comma)
with her meal (comma) if she needed
It was Michelle's turn to drop her smile (This is clumsy and weak - fix it. Describe some other way the girl looks discouraged. Make her do something to show this. Some small personal action - think.)
I can always get a cab back. I know this is dialogue but always is redundant.
Very depressed and struggling with move practicalities at present.
Alison
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Hi Alexis.
Want to strangle this yucky, little Daddy's girl!
Just my opinion, and prejudice, otherwise, it seems fine.
Some minor edits:
Wasn't very formal - skip the 'very'
V-neck - hyphen
seventy pounds (comma) plus (comma)
to try TO (not and) camouflage her bulk (comma) or (. . . ) not anymore.
buying something too small (comma) WHICH GOT LEFT in the wardrobe for a while (comma) on the belied (comma) tat one day (comma)
with her meal (comma) if she needed
It was Michelle's turn to drop her smile (This is clumsy and weak - fix it. Describe some other way the girl looks discouraged. Make her do something to show this. Some small personal action - think.)
I can always get a cab back. I know this is dialogue but always is redundant.
Very depressed and struggling with move practicalities at present.
Alison
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Don't worry, Alison, the little princesses plans are about to backfire. I was so relieved to hear from you because you haven't been on the site for days. Will email later, and hope you are feeling better. Chin up! Love Alexis xxx
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I can see that her daughter really wants her parents back together, and that's as it should be. You've written her character well. I guess we'll have to wait to see how dinner goes. :)
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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I can see that her daughter really wants her parents back together, and that's as it should be. You've written her character well. I guess we'll have to wait to see how dinner goes. :)
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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I think you might be surprised! Thank you for your review, Phyllis. Part Two now posted. Alexis x
Comment from Drew Delaney
Your writing is clear and well done. I see you have a problem with commas as I do. I always try to remember, but a certain rule is new to me. I hope I explain this so that it makes sense. If there is a subject before the verb on the second part of a sentence, then it requires a comma. If there is no subject, like name or pronoun, then a comma is not used.
Good work. Drew xx
drapped an old - draped an old
original weight, and was smaller - remove comma
too small, but was left - remove comma
mirror, and a finger comb - remove comma
restaurant, but collect - remove comma
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Your writing is clear and well done. I see you have a problem with commas as I do. I always try to remember, but a certain rule is new to me. I hope I explain this so that it makes sense. If there is a subject before the verb on the second part of a sentence, then it requires a comma. If there is no subject, like name or pronoun, then a comma is not used.
Good work. Drew xx
drapped an old - draped an old
original weight, and was smaller - remove comma
too small, but was left - remove comma
mirror, and a finger comb - remove comma
restaurant, but collect - remove comma
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much for catching those, Drew. Commas are a real weak spot for me. Either too many or too few! I've copied that and put it on my desktop in the hope I absorb and put into effect. Thank you! Alexis x
