A Memoir
Just a memory long gone46 total reviews
Comment from dmt1967
That was nice of them. This is a very happy story and I enjoyed reading about your memory. I hope you do well in this contest and thank you for posting this delightful little story.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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That was nice of them. This is a very happy story and I enjoyed reading about your memory. I hope you do well in this contest and thank you for posting this delightful little story.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much. Ulla
Comment from alexisleech
It's wonderful that you retain that as one of your first memories, even down to the colour of the wall. I think most of us have difficulty remembering our early life, but when something significant happens, good or bad, it gets locked in our brain forever. This was very well written with just a couple of glitches I've noted below.
I'm so glad you still have those little boots!
Alexis x
something drastic(ally) must have happened.
and nobody were (was) ever allowed to remove them
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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It's wonderful that you retain that as one of your first memories, even down to the colour of the wall. I think most of us have difficulty remembering our early life, but when something significant happens, good or bad, it gets locked in our brain forever. This was very well written with just a couple of glitches I've noted below.
I'm so glad you still have those little boots!
Alexis x
something drastic(ally) must have happened.
and nobody were (was) ever allowed to remove them
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much and I have revised. Ulla
Comment from Delahay
I wonder how old you were when this vivid memory was formed. It is somewhat amazing that this one moment in time has become permanently imprinted on your mind. It is nice that it is a memory of great happiness.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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I wonder how old you were when this vivid memory was formed. It is somewhat amazing that this one moment in time has become permanently imprinted on your mind. It is nice that it is a memory of great happiness.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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I was just a bit over 2 years of age, but it is something I will never forget. It's just like a flash or a photo, but it is there. Ulla
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Ulla. Very well done from start to finish here. A wonderful memory, indeed. You were right saying
"Suffice to say that I will probably never know." (Take out the word probably)
Good luck in the contest.
I wish you the best, but I must tell you, I haven't been reviewing all of your posts as I am notified simply because I never get a review from you anymore. I have to consider the work of those who consider mine. Hope you understand. Blessings. Bob
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Hi, Ulla. Very well done from start to finish here. A wonderful memory, indeed. You were right saying
"Suffice to say that I will probably never know." (Take out the word probably)
Good luck in the contest.
I wish you the best, but I must tell you, I haven't been reviewing all of your posts as I am notified simply because I never get a review from you anymore. I have to consider the work of those who consider mine. Hope you understand. Blessings. Bob
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much for your generous review. I am glad you liked it. No, you are right I do feel guilty as to not have reviewed but I am back to it now. for what it is worth my family have been down visiting and I have enjoyed my two small grandchildren too much. Ulla
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Ulla, I don't blame you. I just was away doing the same thing two weeks ago. LOL...Bob
Comment from paperwait
I can only go back to age 3 for a memory. However, I do believe that a significant occurrence can leave its mark on our memory even earlier. The story held me throughout and I appreciate the opportunity to read it. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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I can only go back to age 3 for a memory. However, I do believe that a significant occurrence can leave its mark on our memory even earlier. The story held me throughout and I appreciate the opportunity to read it. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Thanks a lot for your review. Ulla
Comment from jpduck
What a lovely memoir this is. It delighted me.
Some typos & SPAGs (* *=insert; [ ]=delete):
'Some would call them memoirs, some would call them memories' (A memory is something in your head; a memoir is something written down).
'Now you will be impatient [as] to know'
'and certainly not the usual start [to] *for* most babies'
'I spen*t* [my] *the* first couple of years of my life'
'Then something drastic[ally] must have happened'
'something that changed my daily routine. (Insert a blank line after this to mark the new paragraph).
'and a few of those[,] I have ever told what I do remember'
'I wouldn't have be*en* able to recognize that'
'nobody [were] *was* ever allowed to remove them from my bed'
'This is my memoir.' (Insert a blank line after this to mark the new paragraph).
'my feet were just clattered in a pair of normal shoes' ('Clattered' is the wrong word -- it means 'made a repeated rattling noise' -- but I'm not sure what you wanted to say here, so I can't suggest an alternative word).
Adrian
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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What a lovely memoir this is. It delighted me.
Some typos & SPAGs (* *=insert; [ ]=delete):
'Some would call them memoirs, some would call them memories' (A memory is something in your head; a memoir is something written down).
'Now you will be impatient [as] to know'
'and certainly not the usual start [to] *for* most babies'
'I spen*t* [my] *the* first couple of years of my life'
'Then something drastic[ally] must have happened'
'something that changed my daily routine. (Insert a blank line after this to mark the new paragraph).
'and a few of those[,] I have ever told what I do remember'
'I wouldn't have be*en* able to recognize that'
'nobody [were] *was* ever allowed to remove them from my bed'
'This is my memoir.' (Insert a blank line after this to mark the new paragraph).
'my feet were just clattered in a pair of normal shoes' ('Clattered' is the wrong word -- it means 'made a repeated rattling noise' -- but I'm not sure what you wanted to say here, so I can't suggest an alternative word).
Adrian
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015
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Hi Adrian, i so appreciate your review and for giving me your generous stars, although I had made so many silly mistakes. maybe you have figured that this is not my first language, but that is no excuse. Thanks for putting me right. I haven't done the editing properly. As for clattered I meant clad. Thanks again Ulla
Comment from joann r romei
this was interesting, and you told this story in a very unique way, i believe you did remember, you were probably 2 yrs old,
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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this was interesting, and you told this story in a very unique way, i believe you did remember, you were probably 2 yrs old,
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much. ulla
Comment from Scarbrems
This is a really sweet memory, and I'm so glad it was happy. I liked the background you gave to it, and your vivid description of your emotions.
There's a couple of little nits I have:
'Some would call them memoirs, some would call them memories, The latter being, if you are more down to earth I think and maybe more the way that I would say it' You have a capital 'T' after the comma in the first line. I'd change the comma to a full-stop (period, if you are American). I'd re-word this sentence, as it seems rather awkward. Maybe, 'The latter is more down-to-earth, I think, and is the word I prefer to use'
'All I can say is that any of the above did apply to me'
Again, I found this a little awkward. I'd take the 'did' out, and change 'apply' to 'applied'.
'Then something drastically must have happened' - You need the adjective 'drastic' here, rather than the adverb 'drastically'.
'It was late November(,) and in the part of the world where we lived(,) it was winter with snow on the ground. They simply felt that I needed them as my feet were just clattered in a pair of normal shoes' - commas added in brackets. Also, I'm not sure about the use of, 'clattered', but appreciate it may be colloquial usage.
I hope I haven't offended you. I haven't been on this site for a while, and I am out of the habit of reviewing. These are just suggestions.
Regards
Sarkems
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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This is a really sweet memory, and I'm so glad it was happy. I liked the background you gave to it, and your vivid description of your emotions.
There's a couple of little nits I have:
'Some would call them memoirs, some would call them memories, The latter being, if you are more down to earth I think and maybe more the way that I would say it' You have a capital 'T' after the comma in the first line. I'd change the comma to a full-stop (period, if you are American). I'd re-word this sentence, as it seems rather awkward. Maybe, 'The latter is more down-to-earth, I think, and is the word I prefer to use'
'All I can say is that any of the above did apply to me'
Again, I found this a little awkward. I'd take the 'did' out, and change 'apply' to 'applied'.
'Then something drastically must have happened' - You need the adjective 'drastic' here, rather than the adverb 'drastically'.
'It was late November(,) and in the part of the world where we lived(,) it was winter with snow on the ground. They simply felt that I needed them as my feet were just clattered in a pair of normal shoes' - commas added in brackets. Also, I'm not sure about the use of, 'clattered', but appreciate it may be colloquial usage.
I hope I haven't offended you. I haven't been on this site for a while, and I am out of the habit of reviewing. These are just suggestions.
Regards
Sarkems
Comment Written 20-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much, it's very helpful, Ulla
Comment from evilynne
It is a nice memory, well told. It seems to have some grammatical problems but is otherwise a cute story. It is nice to have such memories.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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It is a nice memory, well told. It seems to have some grammatical problems but is otherwise a cute story. It is nice to have such memories.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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Thanks a lot. I am looking into that. Thanks again. Ulla
Comment from BlueMarble
Wonderful story. Your conversational style of telling it held my attention as though you were across the table chatting over a cup of coffee. Those boots were probably the first thing you could call "mine." Even at two that would be special enough to create a memory.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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Wonderful story. Your conversational style of telling it held my attention as though you were across the table chatting over a cup of coffee. Those boots were probably the first thing you could call "mine." Even at two that would be special enough to create a memory.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2015
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Oh, thank you ever so much. very encouraging. Ulla
